Priesthood Session - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

marsupial · 03-31-2007, 05:20 PM

So what's the big secret? Audio/video of Priesthood sessions are never archived online. Sure, I can read it--but I how do I know that the real good stuff hasn't been edited out? RS/YW sessions are made available. Nothing secret going on there.

Why do you think the church does that? What are we women missing out on (besides all the porn talks)?

Sleeping in EQ · 03-31-2007, 05:30 PM

By saying even this much I risk blood atonement:

The Sacred Order of the Water Buffalo forbids me from saying anything of what we do during the Priesthood Session. It's the male locker room of Church instruction. It's existence is to reinforce that we have Y chromosomes and you don't. You are on a pedastal, but we have put you there and will remove you when we choose to.

No wenches, chicks, hags, nags, spinsters, or crones are allowed in the treehouse. Heck, until 1978 we didn't even let Buckwheat up here.

ute4ever · 03-31-2007, 06:17 PM

The Ensign always prints 6 of the 7 talks. Jeez isn't that good enough?

ute4ever · 03-31-2007, 06:21 PM

6 months ago my stake center could not find the feed. So 10 minutes into the session, there was a mass exodus of people driving to other stake centers.

Some woman drove by in her minivan, observed everyone leaving and had a real concerned look on her face, and asked me why we weren't inside watching.

Annoyed by her lack of intuition, I played along. I looked confused, and said nobody ever watches the session; after our wives drop us off, we go eat and check the scores.

cougjunkie · 03-31-2007, 09:59 PM

my only complaint about priesthood is every april it falls on the same day and time as the final four!

Surfah · 03-31-2007, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

my only complaint about priesthood is every april it falls on the same day and time as the final four!

Ugh, it kills me. Especially since I want to see the Florida/UCLA game more than that crappy first half between GU/OSU.

SeattleUte · 04-01-2007, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marsupial

So what's the big secret? Audio/video of Priesthood sessions are never archived online. Sure, I can read it--but I how do I know that the real good stuff hasn't been edited out? RS/YW sessions are made available. Nothing secret going on there.

Why do you think the church does that? What are we women missing out on (besides all the porn talks)?

Maybe Waters could arrange for a pirated video or audio feed into Cryptic Permutations. That would be exciting.

Archaea · 04-01-2007, 04:22 AM

I protest the lack of women by not attending. Not really, as I went to a restaurant with my daughters who are usually not around.

marsupial · 04-01-2007, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sleeping in EQ

By saying even this much I risk blood atonement:

The Sacred Order of the Water Buffalo forbids me from saying anything of what we do during the Priesthood Session. It's the male locker room of Church instruction. It's existence is to reinforce that we have Y chromosomes and you don't. You are on a pedastal, but we have put you there and will remove you when we choose to.

No wenches, chicks, hags, nags, spinsters, or crones are allowed in the treehouse. Heck, until 1978 we didn't even let Buckwheat up here.

LOL. Well, if that's all it is--a spiritual locker room--then I am glad you Priesthood holders keep all that scratching, farting and butt slapping to yourselves.

YOhio · 04-01-2007, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marsupial

LOL. Well, if that's all it is--a spiritual locker room--then I am glad you Priesthood holders keep all that scratching, farting and butt slapping to yourselves.

Sometimes we get Roor Beer floats.

03-31-2007, 05:20 PM	#1
marsupial Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I... Isn't it so fun to spell? Posts: 1,701	Priesthood Session So what's the big secret? Audio/video of Priesthood sessions are never archived online. Sure, I can read it--but I how do I know that the real good stuff hasn't been edited out? RS/YW sessions are made available. Nothing secret going on there. Why do you think the church does that? What are we women missing out on (besides all the porn talks)? __________________ "Mormon men are inherently sexy..." -Archaea

03-31-2007, 05:30 PM	#2
Sleeping in EQ Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The People's Republic of Monsanto Posts: 3,085	By saying even this much I risk blood atonement: The Sacred Order of the Water Buffalo forbids me from saying anything of what we do during the Priesthood Session. It's the male locker room of Church instruction. It's existence is to reinforce that we have Y chromosomes and you don't. You are on a pedastal, but we have put you there and will remove you when we choose to. No wenches, chicks, hags, nags, spinsters, or crones are allowed in the treehouse. Heck, until 1978 we didn't even let Buckwheat up here. __________________ "Do not despise the words of prophets, but test everything; hold fast to what is good; " 1 Thess. 5:21 (NRSV) We all trust our own unorthodoxies.

03-31-2007, 09:59 PM	#5
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	my only complaint about priesthood is every april it falls on the same day and time as the final four! __________________ LINCECUM!

04-01-2007, 04:22 AM	#8
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	I protest the lack of women by not attending. Not really, as I went to a restaurant with my daughters who are usually not around. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

03-31-2007, 06:17 PM	#3
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	The Ensign always prints 6 of the 7 talks. Jeez isn't that good enough?

03-31-2007, 06:21 PM	#4
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	6 months ago my stake center could not find the feed. So 10 minutes into the session, there was a mass exodus of people driving to other stake centers. Some woman drove by in her minivan, observed everyone leaving and had a real concerned look on her face, and asked me why we weren't inside watching. Annoyed by her lack of intuition, I played along. I looked confused, and said nobody ever watches the session; after our wives drop us off, we go eat and check the scores.