I did get to ride... and I am an evil bastard...

[DirtyHippieUTE]

The weather backed off to a mild drizzle so I decided to head out for a spin on a local out and back.

I was wearing a freakin' parachute of a windbreaker at the start so I stopped after a few miles to take it off.

Just then this old(er) dude blows by me. I kind of thought he had been back there chasing me for the last couple of miles but I wasn't sure until I noticed him really let up and look back a couple of times. I thought it was funny. We were racing and I didn't know.

So I started to climb back on the bike and this dude put the hammer down again. I'm a competative guy so I figured... I'll play.

This guy was about 200+ yards ahead of me and we were just starting into a hilly section (remember: I am NOT a climber). I didn't kill myself to get after him but I did keep my cadence a little higher than usual.

I was closing on him but very slowly. It was kind of frustrating because I knew I had been hammering this guy when I wasn't paying attention AND wearing a big ol' flappy windbreaker but now he seemed to be holding me off pretty well.

Anyway, I finally get to within 20 - 30 feet of him and decide to just hang there for a second. The wind was blowing pretty hard and this guy never looked back so I kind of figured he didn't know I was there. Then all of the sudden... "click, click, ping" and he was dropping me.

I didn't catch him before the the turn around so I got a good look at him when he went by in the other direction...

He was pretty ripped. He looked 50ish, was riding at least $3000 worth of bike, had some super spendy gear, and... the freakin' ugliest "I just had my eyes dilated" glasses I had ever seen.

So this is where I show what a dick I can be... I was ok with this guy as long as he was a ripped, 50ish, rich guy but the thought goes thru my head... "I must kill the man with the ugly ass glasses." I don't know why...

So I track him down. It didn't take too long. I was motivated. I had this plan where I would blow by and keep just enough distance to give him hope but not to let him draft or catch me. Then I hear "click, click, ping" followed by an audible grunt and he started to hammer again.

Now I KNOW he didn't hear me and I never once saw him take a look back so I had no idea how he knew I was there. Then I noticed his rear view mirror.

I hatched a new plan... I would run him down, ease up when I got within 10 - 20 feet and then watch him kill himself trying to drop me.

We played this game for a few miles. I was getting a pretty good laugh out of it and I could tell he was starting to crack.

I did it about three more times and then figured I'd put him out of his misery. I caught him on a long flat section (I do well on those) and went by making sure not to look like I was working hard at all.

I felt pretty good about myself as I pulled away... That lasted until I reached the highway (where you have to stop to wait for traffic to clear).

As I sit waiting for traffic to clear I decided to futz with my HRM and put the windbreaker back on.

A few minutes later this guy rolls up and he is looking like death on a platter. I ask him how he's doing and I thought he was going to die right there. I felt guilty for playing with his ego the whole day. I asked him how far it was to home and if he wanted me to pull him.

He looked at me with this totally broken look and said, "It's ok... My car is just across the street. If I don't collapse in the crosswalk I'll make it."

Yes... I am an evil bastard... I tried to kill an old man because I didn't like his glasses...

Muahahahahaha

[Archaea]

that could have been me. Jerk.

[DirtyHippieUTE]

I've read your post ride reports and I'm pretty much 100% sure I couldn't play with you like I was with this guy.

[Archaea]

Did you miss the parts where I stated I felt like death warmed over and the younger guys spit me out like bad bath water?

Nice to crush an old man's ego.