Good quote from an article I read at lunch

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by NorCal Cat

That's the point, some of us believe that certain behaviors merit a spanking. Seems like some of you want to equate a spanking to beating, which is ridiculous.

Maybe this is correct.

Like i said, i just cant think of anything they can do that will make me want to hit them.

The other night my son was in his room at night crying. He is 3.5. I went in to ask him what was wrong. I call him 'Goby," which is a rad nickname. Anyway, so i said, "what's wrong Goby? what are you crying?" He said, "Because I'm scared, daddy. I dont like being scared."

We never figured out why he was scared and he eventually went back to bed, but I learned a very important lesson. Even the smallest of children are able to feel fear and articulate it. They grasp the concept of menacing behavior at a very young age, but lack the experience to process it in any meaningful context. there was no reason for him to feel fear, but he did, and it really upset him.

If I hit my kids, they will be scared, they will feel fear, but they will NOT be able to reason and say, "hey, daddy has a point there...I deserve this treatment." So why would I hit them? No thanks.

[NorCal Cat]

Originally Posted by jay santos

But Norcal in your case I totally believe you're capable of beating your kids.

Everyone is capable of beating their kids, moron. In reality though, I actually show much more patience with my boys than I do with this crowd.

[NorCal Cat]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

what is the goal of spanking? seems like what you are doing is puposefully causing physical and emotional pain. The primary caregiver, whom the child relies on to survive, strikes the child and lets the child know, "I give, I destroy."

Nice.

The goal is the same as any other form of discipline. I don't know what your definition of spanking is, but I'm not talking about wailing on a kid as hard as you can. Geez....

[Runner Coug]

I've spanked my kids before, but it's been a few years, and I wish that I hadn't.

[NorCal Cat]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

Maybe this is correct.

Like i said, i just cant think of anything they can do that will make me want to hit them.

The other night my son was in his room at night crying. He is 3.5. I went in to ask him what was wrong. I call him 'Goby," which is a rad nickname. Anyway, so i said, "what's wrong Goby? what are you crying?" He said, "Because I'm scared, daddy. I dont like being scared."

We never figured out why he was scared and he eventually went back to bed, but I learned a very important lesson. Even the smallest of children are able to feel fear and articulate it. They grasp the concept of menacing behavior at a very young age, but lack the experience to process it in any meaningful context. there was no reason for him to feel fear, but he did, and it really upset him.

If I hit my kids, they will be scared, they will feel fear, but they will NOT be able to reason and say, "hey, daddy has a point there...I deserve this treatment." So why would I hit them? No thanks.

So why would you punish them in ANY way then? How do you punish your kids? Give them an ice cream cone, so they won't be scared, and won't feel fear?

[Runner Coug]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

I call him 'Goby," which is a rad nickname.

That is a cool nickname. I call my 8 year old Pudge. I don't know why, he's not a fat kid. I get some pretty strange looks from parents when I yell his nickname during little league games.

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by NorCal Cat

So why would you punish them in ANY way then? How do you punish your kids? Give them an ice cream cone, so they won't be scared, and won't feel fear?

I already said, the most effective form of discipline for me is removal of privileges. If they are misbheaving, no toys. Or they have to sit in a timeout, which they hate because everyone else is playing.

There are ways of being disciplined that do not involve force or fear.

If that concept is foreign to you, then something's up.

[MikeWaters]

My son, if I get stern with him, will cry and come over for a hug. Other times, he will just scream for a couple of seconds, but he doesn't go back to what he was doing.

If I spanked him, I think his universe would collapse.

[NorCal Cat]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

I already said, the most effective form of discipline for me is removal of privileges. If they are misbheaving, no toys. Or they have to sit in a timeout, which they hate because everyone else is playing.

There are ways of being disciplined that do not involve force or fear.

If that concept is foreign to you, then something's up.

Thank you Captain Obvious. Everyone knows there are ways to discipline without involving physical force. However, you don't think your kids fear having privileges removed? Give me a break.

What is the point of discipline? For me it is two fold. One, it is punishment for misbehaving, and two it is hopefully a deterrent against future misbehaving. How can a punishment deter future misbehaving if there is no fear component involved?

[NorCal Cat]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

My son, if I get stern with him, will cry and come over for a hug. Other times, he will just scream for a couple of seconds, but he doesn't go back to what he was doing.

If I spanked him, I think his universe would collapse.

How old is he?