Floating and other favorite Poke topics - Page 5 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

RC Vikings · 09-12-2007, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archaea

You shouldn't be sleeping with Mrs. Archaea, we don't believe in those sort of things. Now she must speak with her bishop.

Just during our ride. I think she just wanted someone to talk to about how she was afraid you had spent to much time on a bicycle seat.

BigFatMeanie · 09-12-2007, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archaea

No, he simply used the empirical, scientific method to determine if an urban myth could have any substance. His personal experience revealed it's highly unlikely anybody could pull off that allegation.

Mrs. Meanie and I now refer to ourselves as "The Sexual Mythbusters".

Mormon Red Death · 09-12-2007, 10:23 PM

I thought my new avatar was appropriate for this thread

Goatnapper'96 · 09-12-2007, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archaea

It depends on with whom penetration occurs. If you penetrate cougjunkie, then that's not so cool. If you penetrate Jenna, then join the crowd.

Isn't floating with Jenna no different than doing it with a beer stein filled with warm water?

jay santos · 09-12-2007, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mormon Red Death

I thought my new avatar was appropriate for this thread

Looks like BDB.

mpfunk · 09-12-2007, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOhio

I had to teach the chastity lesson in EQ this week. Before the lesson I told the class that I could never be a Bishop in a singles ward because I think teaching chastity is awkward. Seriously though, singles ward leaders never stop with the chastity stuff. I had a BYU SP that talked about sex more than a frat boy.

As an aside, the best talk I've ever heard on chastity was by Elder Holland when he was president of BYU titled "Souls, Symbols and Sacraments."

Oddly enough we never really got the chastity and porn talks in my singles ward. I guess they assumed with all the social misfits in the ward no one was in danger of doing it.

Tex · 09-13-2007, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski

Prude.

Hedonist.

non sequitur · 09-13-2007, 03:29 AM

For you bishop types, which is a more serious sin: floating with no orgasm, or dry-humping with an orgasm?

DirtyHippieUTE · 09-13-2007, 04:48 AM

I have heard of "floating" but I always thought it was just another thing people made up about kids at the zoo and their weird attempts at moral immorality.

I can't imagine the look on the bishop's face as some kid tells him what floating is and how it is ok because it isn't sexual intercourse. It sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit.

If I were a bishop I don't know if I could sit through that one without...
1- Laughing aloud
2- Smacking the kid
3- Sobbing silently as I realize there is no hope at all

landpoke · 09-13-2007, 01:27 PM

specific post and then I come in this morning to find that someone has gone and split the thread up. Now my post is completely out of context.

Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one who gives a %$#& about the rules?

09-12-2007, 10:23 PM	#43
Mormon Red Death Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Clinton Township, MI Posts: 3,126	I thought my new avatar was appropriate for this thread __________________ Its all about the suit

09-13-2007, 03:29 AM	#48
non sequitur Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,964	For you bishop types, which is a more serious sin: floating with no orgasm, or dry-humping with an orgasm? __________________ ...You've been under attack for days, there's a soldier down, he's wounded, gangrene's setting in, 'Who's used all the penicillin?' 'Oh, Mark Paxson sir, he's got knob rot off of some tart.'" - Gareth Keenan

09-13-2007, 04:48 AM	#49
DirtyHippieUTE Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Moscow, ID Posts: 1,151	I have heard of "floating" but I always thought it was just another thing people made up about kids at the zoo and their weird attempts at moral immorality. I can't imagine the look on the bishop's face as some kid tells him what floating is and how it is ok because it isn't sexual intercourse. It sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit. If I were a bishop I don't know if I could sit through that one without... 1- Laughing aloud 2- Smacking the kid 3- Sobbing silently as I realize there is no hope at all __________________ I reject your reality and substitute my own...

09-13-2007, 01:27 PM	#50
landpoke Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North Central God's Country Posts: 1,534	You know, I go to all the trouble of writing an insightful, on-topic reply to a specific post and then I come in this morning to find that someone has gone and split the thread up. Now my post is completely out of context. Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one who gives a %$#& about the rules?