The Feminine Mistake

[marsupial]

I just saw the author of the book The Feminine Mistake on the Today Show this morning.
(Her response to the negative feedback she has received from her book: http://news.yahoo.com/s/huffpost/200...uffpost/044690)

Her book, which I have not read, apparently deals with the mistake women are making by leaving their jobs and becoming financially dependent on their spouse. She says mothers who do this put their children at risk because if divorce, death or illness of their spouse required them to go back to work, they statistically would not be able to find a job and make an income to support their children.

I think she definitely has a point, but she underestimates the difference a mother in the home makes on the emotional well being of a family.

I think LDS women of families who truly follow counsel for the church and have a year supply, stay out of debt, live within their means, etc. are probably going to be in good shape if something happens and the mother needs to go back to work. Even better shape are the women who have an education and manage to keep a foot in the work force while still staying at home.

Any other thoughts on this issue?

[SteelBlue]

I do not now know, nor have I ever known any man woman or child who had a year's supply of food. I have known a few who had a year's pay saved that was liquid. But they are very few.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

I just saw the author of the book The Feminine Mistake on the Today Show this morning.
(Her response to the negative feedback she has received from her book: http://news.yahoo.com/s/huffpost/200...uffpost/044690)

Her book, which I have not read, apparently deals with the mistake women are making by leaving their jobs and becoming financially dependent on their spouse. She says mothers who do this put their children at risk because if divorce, death or illness of their spouse required them to go back to work, they statistically would not be able to find a job and make an income to support their children.

I think she definitely has a point, but she underestimates the difference a mother in the home makes on the emotional well being of a family.

I think LDS women of families who truly follow counsel for the church and have a year supply, stay out of debt, live within their means, etc. are probably going to be in good shape if something happens and the mother needs to go back to work. Even better shape are the women who have an education and manage to keep a foot in the work force while still staying at home.

Any other thoughts on this issue?

You hold a traditional LDS belief. I'm not certain I share it any longer. In our ward, the successful families have educated women, who work and whose children are active and successful. So a woman who is unfamiliar with the workforce and finances is making a mistake for her and her family.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by SteelBlue

I do not now know, nor have I ever known any man woman or child who had a year's supply of food. I have known a few who had a year's pay saved that was liquid. But they are very few.

We don't--that's for sure. I have known one family who counted on their year's supply while the husband was unemployed. It really saved them.

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by marsupial

I just saw the author of the book The Feminine Mistake on the Today Show this morning...

I don't know exactly what to say on the subject, it's such a complicated matter. And the best decision for each woman is so closely tied to her family, personality and other factors.

But the title of the book is really funny.

[MikeWaters]

By the church's calculator I have a year's supply of food. Of course eating boiled wheat for every other meal would suck.

The best research into daycare has shown that the only negative effect was increased aggression.

This indicates that daycare isn't a huge diaster, but who knows.

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by Archaea

You hold a traditional LDS belief. I'm not certain I share it any longer. In our ward, the successful families have educated women, who work and whose children are active and successful. So a woman who is unfamiliar with the workforce and finances is making a mistake for her and her family.

I could not disagree more. My wife is a stay-at-home mom. She's educated but chose not to work. I believe strongly this is the best model for families--especially in today's world. And because this is a hot issue, I try not to judge, but my empirical observations on which families are active and successful are completely opposite.

Like Elder Oaks talk, the objective should be no (or much less frequent) divorce, not for the man and woman to go into the marriage more prepared for a potential break up. The interdependency that develops in a marriage for financial, emotional, sexual, health and other matters is a beautiful thing.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by jay santos

I could not disagree more. My wife is a stay-at-home mom. She's educated but chose not to work. I believe strongly this is the best model for families--especially in today's world. And because this is a hot issue, I try not to judge, but my empirical observations on which families are active and successful are completely opposite.

Like Elder Oaks talk, the objective should be no (or much less frequent) divorce, not for the man and woman to go into the marriage more prepared for a potential break up. The interdependency that develops in a marriage for financial, emotional, sexual, health and other matters is a beautiful thing.

Well said. I'd like to add that I was a working mom and Danimal was a stay-at-home dad for awhile. This was a great situation for us. I think it is better for kids if a parent is at home. I don't think it always has to be mom.

[tooblue]

Originally Posted by SteelBlue

I do not now know, nor have I ever known any man woman or child who had a year's supply of food. I have known a few who had a year's pay saved that was liquid. But they are very few.

I've known a few people that have had to rely on their years supply.

[Detroitdad]

Why on earth anyone would want to stay at home full time with a bunch of children is beyond me. I was the stay at home component of our family while I was in undergrad. Believe me, that was the only time that I ever looked forward to going to class. I love my daughter, but there is no way that I would willingly spend a 60 hour week at home alone with a baby, and from most of the others that I have spoken with, it is not a particularly pleasant experience.
If a significant amount of time at home can be balanced with something such as a part time job, volunteer work, or more schooling, enough to keep the adult feeling like a productive, non-isolated member of society then it is not a bad thing, I suppose. Finding a balance can make the time that parent and child spend together more enjoyable and productive.