Why do some serve missions then leave the church?

[RockyBalboa]

I've always found that interesting. And admittedly the about-face is not something I've understood very well. I've never understood the whole serving a mission because one felt they had to because of the peer pressure thing and then heaping blame on the church and/or culture for their OWN decision to serve when they didn't want to.

I don't care if someone served a mission or not and that's not the focus of my curiousity, but am curious about why serve, especially if you didn't want to and then bag on the church later? It's confusing to me. Some don't bag on the church. Some do. They all have their own reasons like some on here have mentioned before and I respect that.

I'm curious from the viewpoints of those who served a mission and left. I'm curious why did you serve in the first place? Was it something that for yourself you didn't realize til later on that you didn't believe what you taught as a missionary anymore?

I know there could be lots of different reasons why and I'm curious as to the psyche of this and would like to hear your opinions and insights. I'm not slamming their reasons and don't plan to, it's purely a lack of understanding on my part and I admit that.

Thanks.

[MikeWaters]

Plenty of missionaries don't believe. Hence their behavior in the field: doing nothing, breaking rules, getting sent home, etc. Others may fake it, with the best intentions. Others believe, but still fake things. An AP on my mission would make up spiritual experiences. When one of his companions confronted him, his explanation was "the end justifies the means."

People don't tend to their testimonies. They don't do the things that will keep them strong, and they drift away.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by grapevine

Some rms are inactive. But I think in the upwards of 90% stay active. Of the peoople who didn't go on a mission how many of them are active in the church. A Lot less.

It's like people saying this nonlds guy treats me great I would rather marry him than go to the temple and get married to an abusive husband. Dont they realize that there are plenty of nonabusive spouses that can take them to the temple and that there is one example. There using the negative one.

I think I actually understood this. Perhaps the fog has lifted.

[Goatnapper'96]

Originally Posted by RockyBalboa

I've always found that interesting. And admittedly the about-face is not something I've understood very well. I've never understood the whole serving a mission because one felt they had to because of the peer pressure thing and then heaping blame on the church and/or culture for their OWN decision to serve when they didn't want to.

I don't care if someone served a mission or not and that's not the focus of my curiousity, but am curious about why serve, especially if you didn't want to and then bag on the church later? It's confusing to me. Some don't bag on the church. Some do. They all have their own reasons like some on here have mentioned before and I respect that.

I'm curious from the viewpoints of those who served a mission and left. I'm curious why did you serve in the first place? Was it something that for yourself you didn't realize til later on that you didn't believe what you taught as a missionary anymore?

I know there could be lots of different reasons why and I'm curious as to the psyche of this and would like to hear your opinions and insights. I'm not slamming their reasons and don't plan to, it's purely a lack of understanding on my part and I admit that.

Thanks.

It would trouble you further to know that Elder Neeleman was one of the most respected missionaries in the Ecuador Quito Mission from 1977-1979.

I think what you are doing is a bit egocentrical. You are imbueing your experiences upon everyone elses. Not all felt or saw or did on their missions what you did. Many go on missions because culturally missions are a coming of age experience. My 4 year old is going to marry a returned missionary already. Apaches tied down their young men to red ant hills, mormons send theirs out into the world to become spiritual men of God and kick the shit out of a few Aaron Shaff's if opportunity provides. Either way it is all good stuff if God does not smile fondly, I am sure Porter Rockwell does.

Danites Unite!

Or perhaps I could just offer the international masonry distress signall......

I think we can all agree that for many of us going on a mission was very much as much cultural as it was spiritual. However, as time went on the love of the work and the love of the restored gospel became a higher and higher priority. For others it did not.

I have no real issues with folks who fall away and even that choose to be dickheads about it like Seattle Ute. I can imagine how difficult leaving the Church must really be. I think it genuinely unfair to ask those born and raised LDS to just go away quietly and leave us alone. However, I do chuckle when the children or descendents of apostates always seem to find their way back. To me, a believer, those temple covenants about generations made and faithfully kept by forbears are often proven true even though some descendents choose to lose those blessings themselves. So beware Seattle, Great Grandpa Neeleman is out there and your kids will always be on our horizon....

Holy, holy, holy God we know that thou art God and thou art Holy.......

[jay santos]

One of my best friends from my mission is probably the most talented person I know. Extremely intelligent, athletic, charasmatic, popular. Set ridiculous goals for himself like memorizing 100 vocabulary words (Korean) in a day, read the bible in a month, contact X investigators, etc. And always achieved his goals. We were comps for two months and did amazing work. He was the AP of our mission, and about the only AP I ever knew that was actually liked by his fellow missionaries.

He went away from the church almost immediately after coming home from his mission, still is away, and I don't anticipate him coming back--he's quite settled in to his life. He doesn't share why this came about.

I don't think you can assume missionaries that leave the church after their mission didn't have a testimony of the gospel or went on their mission for the wrong reasons.

[BlueHair]

I think life is a constant learning experience. Things that may seem true to you at one stage of your life, may not at a later stage. I went on a mission mostly because I was afraid that I would regret not going. I worked diligently every day. There were many great experiences, but nothing that would compel me to believe that I belonged to the only true church. True believers tell me it's my fault that I've never had the spiritual witness. That may be true. The bottom line is I don't plan on spending a lifetime serving a church that doesn't make sense to me. I may change my mind later, but it would literally take an act of God to do it. Either that, or my wife telling me I have to go to church!

[ute4ever]

It was my observation that many of my co-missionaries never wanted to serve in the first place, but did so anyways because either:

1) It was expected of them, and they were pressured into it. Like joining scouts, or going to prom, etc., it's what their friends were doing, coupled with what their iron fist fathers told them they were going to do.

2) They needed something to do with their lives for 18-24 months. Sometimes people join the military for the same reason. (Don't tell hot marine girlfriend I said that. She'll kick my ass).

Some examples from the good old Arkansas Little Rock mission:

a) Elder A was there because his uncle promised to buy him a new truck if he went. He never enjoyed the work, put on 70 lbs, and wouldn't leave the apartment for more than 3 hours at a time.

b) 7 of 8 elders from one district were sent home for smoking pot at a district meeting, held in their apartment. It wasn't the first time they had done that, and their greenie ratted them out.

c) Sisters B and C were sent home for repeatedly spending their time at the liquor store and at the movies.

d) Elder D was sent home for having sex with one of the laurels.

e) Elders E and F used their church key to take home one of the tv's from the library, and used their monthly allowance renting movies and nintendos from Blockbuster. They lied about their numbers and managed to stay together for 4 months.

f) Elder G was sent home for having sex with his investigator in the church. If you wonder where his companion Elder Minnear was, probably at home looking at this Playboy subscription. I was transfered in to "clean" that area, and surprised to have his porn arrive in the mail.

g) Elders H and I both had girlfriends in Conway and would put their greenies together on weekend-long splits, then go out for long sleepover dates with their girls.

h) Elders J and K had a prized possession: their photo with the Hooters waitress lifting up her shirt. Neider was my zone leader at the time.

i) We had a mission-wide conference where our Area Authority, Elder Watts, came to speak. It lasted all day and I thought it was great. While driving home, the three elders in my car wanted me to stop at Hooters for dinner. "Don't be a pussy" Elder L said.

j) Elder M had photos of he and three others celebrating his 21st birthday with a 20-pack of Budweiser.

k) Elder N said he had been inactive for the 9 months preceeding his mission farewell. He commenced his mission by refusing to work after 5pm, and none on weekends. He managed to get through six months and four companions, who apparently liked the schedule, until I was his comp and he was sent home. (He was my follow-up trainer).

l) There are other examples that I don't have firsthand knowledge of, but are just rumors, like zone leaders frequenting a strip club in Memphis called Platinum Plus, or elders making out with girls in the singles ward.

Elders O and P devised a method of "teaching a first discussion" in twenty seconds. They would go to bus stops and say, "We're teaching a lesson about..." and hit on the six principles in the first discussion, and then ask if anyone was interested to hear more. If there were four people at that bus stop, they would count it as four discussions. Then they would go to lunch at Arby's, leave ten Books of Mormon on ten tables, and leave. One day of "work" = grossly inflated numbers (although honest in their minds), and spend the remaining six days of the week using their car milage allotment to go places and hang out.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by ute4ever

It was my observation that many of my co-missionaries never wanted to serve in the first place, but did so anyways because either:

I'm glad this is not within the realm of my experiences.

[UteStar]

ute4ever--when you talk about the elders and how they 'taught' the first discussion and how it would grossly inflate their numbers "though honest in their minds." There is no way that was honest in their minds. Unless they are complete idiots. And, it sounds like they were. That sounds like a brutal mission.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UteStar

ute4ever--when you talk about the elders and how they 'taught' the first discussion and how it would grossly inflate their numbers "though honest in their minds." There is no way that was honest in their minds. Unless they are complete idiots. And, it sounds like they were. That sounds like a brutal mission.

Only the best for Arkansas I guess.

My sis just relocated there. Wow, what a backwater place it must me.