Question for Lawyers

[BlueHair]

As most of you know, I am not active. My wife would like to go to church when our babies get older. I have no problem with that and plan to attend with her as time permits. The one stipulation I have with regards to the kids is that the Bishop not give them worthiness interviews until they are eighteen and can legally choose for themselves (or earlier if we feel they are mature enough). The question is this: Is the Bishop legally required to comply with my request?

To current church leaders with access to a handbook: Is it church policy to ask parents for consent to inteview their children? Do they ask if the parents have any objections to any of the questions?

[Tex]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

As most of you know, I am not active. My wife would like to go to church when our babies get older. I have no problem with that and plan to attend with her as time permits. The one stipulation I have with regards to the kids is that the Bishop not give them worthiness interviews until they are eighteen and can legally choose for themselves (or earlier if we feel they are mature enough). The question is this: Is the Bishop legally required to comply with my request?

To current church leaders with access to a handbook: Is it church policy to ask parents for consent to inteview their children? Do they ask if the parents have any objections to any of the questions?

I don't know about legally, but church policy is definitely to have parental consent, for what I think are obvious reasons.

I don't have my handbook handy, but standard policy is to interview with the bishop or counselor every six months as a youth (12-18), but these are not necessarily worthiness interviews. The only time your children would need a worthiness interview would be for the following:

- Baptism (age 8)
- Ordination to a priesthood office (males, aged 12, 14, 16)
- Temple recommend for baptisms for the dead (age 12+)

[BlueHair]

Originally Posted by Tex

I don't know about legally, but church policy is definitely to have parental consent, for what I think are obvious reasons.

I don't have my handbook handy, but standard policy is to interview with the bishop or counselor every six months as a youth (12-18), but these are not necessarily worthiness interviews. The only time your children would need a worthiness interview would be for the following:

- Baptism (age 8)
- Ordination to a priesthood office (males, aged 12, 14, 16)
- Temple recommend for baptisms for the dead (age 12+)

Thanks. I have no problem with a question like, "do you want to be baptized?", so long as there isn't an effort by the Bishop to influence the answer. I am a little concerned about leading or manipulative questions like I used as a missionary.

[CardiacCoug]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

As most of you know, I am not active. My wife would like to go to church when our babies get older. I have no problem with that and plan to attend with her as time permits. The one stipulation I have with regards to the kids is that the Bishop not give them worthiness interviews until they are eighteen and can legally choose for themselves (or earlier if we feel they are mature enough). The question is this: Is the Bishop legally required to comply with my request?

To current church leaders with access to a handbook: Is it church policy to ask parents for consent to inteview their children? Do they ask if the parents have any objections to any of the questions?

Not a lawyer, but what's the big deal with a Bishop's worthiness interview? Is your plan to not allow your kids to be baptized or for your sons to have the priesthood until they are at least 18?

I know this isn't my place and I don't know you, but I think that's generally a bad decision if your kids are going to attend an LDS church. What's wrong with letting your kids participate fully in the Church as long as they're going to be there? Then they can make their own decision about whether to take or leave the Church when they are 18 and they will truly be free to make either decision, having felt like they were really a part of the Church growing up.

Some of my cousins' parents wanted them to wait until they were 18 to get baptized. There was nothing worse for my cousins than going to Church as teenagers and not being baptized, not holding the priesthood (for the boys), not feeling like they were really part of the group. Not a good situation to put your kids in, in my opinion. Probably better not to have your kids go to church at all than to make them deal with that.

[CardiacCoug]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

Thanks. I have no problem with a question like, "do you want to be baptized?", so long as there isn't an effort by the Bishop to influence the answer. I am a little concerned about leading or manipulative questions like I used as a missionary.

Do you really think an 8-year old has the capacity to make an informed, self-aware decision about whether or not he will be baptized?

Every kid who gets baptized is subject to "leading or manipulative" treatment in this matter. I wouldn't worry about the formal Bishop's "interview" too much.

[Tex]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

Thanks. I have no problem with a question like, "do you want to be baptized?", so long as there isn't an effort by the Bishop to influence the answer. I am a little concerned about leading or manipulative questions like I used as a missionary.

Obviously the bishop gets some latitude, but the standard questions to be asked for baptism are on a form and can be provided to you.

[BlueHair]

Originally Posted by CardiacCoug

Not a lawyer, but what's the big deal with a Bishop's worthiness interview? Is your plan to not allow your kids to be baptized or for your sons to have the priesthood until they are at least 18?

I know this isn't my place and I don't know you, but I think that's generally a bad decision if your kids are going to attend an LDS church. What's wrong with letting your kids participate fully in the Church as long as they're going to be there? Then they can make their own decision about whether to take or leave the Church when they are 18 and they will truly be free to make either decision, having felt like they were really a part of the Church growing up.

Some of my cousins' parents wanted them to wait until they were 18 to get baptized. There was nothing worse for my cousins than going to Church as teenagers and not being baptized, not holding the priesthood (for the boys), not feeling like they were really part of the group. Not a good situation to put your kids in, in my opinion. Probably better not to have your kids go to church at all than to make them deal with that.

I see your points. I agree with most of them. My kids can be as active as they want. If they want to be baptized and are mature enough to explain to me what baptism is and why they think is important, I will let them do it. By the same token, if my son says to me on Sunday morning, "The Steelers are on at 11:00 and I would rather watch the game than go to church". I will let him stay home. Their activity level will be determined by them. I won't hold them back, nor will I push them.

[BlueHair]

Originally Posted by CardiacCoug

Do you really think an 8-year old has the capacity to make an informed, self-aware decision about whether or not he will be batized?

No.

[creekster]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

I see your points. I agree with most of them. My kids can be as active as they want. If they want to be baptized and are mature enough to explain to me what baptism is and why they think is important, I will let them do it. By the same token, if my son says to me on Sunday morning, "The Steelers are on at 11:00 and I would rather watch the game than go to church". I will let him stay home. Their activity level will be determined by them. I won't hold them back, nor will I push them.

How old are your kids now?

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by BlueHair

I see your points. I agree with most of them. My kids can be as active as they want. If they want to be baptized and are mature enough to explain to me what baptism is and why they think is important, I will let them do it. By the same token, if my son says to me on Sunday morning, "The Steelers are on at 11:00 and I would rather watch the game than go to church". I will let him stay home. Their activity level will be determined by them. I won't hold them back, nor will I push them.

Just out of curiosity, do you plan to be so ambivalent about all your childrens' endeavors or just the LDS church?

In other words, when your kid is a teen and he has to go to football practice and he says, "nah, don't really feel like it today, I want to play xbox," are you going to say, "Cool! I dont really care one way or the other. Do your thing, homie!"

Seems like you are putting your biases on your kids already, even though it may not feel like that is what is happening.

Why be neutral about any of your childrens' interests?