Wife kicks hubby out for masturbating

[ERCougar]

It's stories like these that frighten men into secrecy and drive the "addiction" (or whatever you want to call it) deeper. The difference between public and private selves leads to serious problems, and the pressure to be publicly "perfect" is really high in our church. People may be right that there is more to the story, but whenever I hear these kinds of stories, I just get really irritated.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

My very rudimentary understanding is that behaviors that reward our pleasure centers can physiologically alter the brain in ways that are similar, if not really the same, as chemicals can. I could be wrong.

You may be correct but the changes are not as permanent as introducing a foreign substance to cause the change, if I understand correctly. Again, this is something Waters could advise us on.

[exUte]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

I endorse this post. How will she react when an authentic crisis arises in their lives?

not an authentic crisis? Then you haven't seen the disastrous harm done by those addicted to porn. But go ahead and condone it and blame the spouse for over reacting.

But then again, coming from a Ute, combined with a beer in one hand and ....in the other, it's probably normal behavior.

[exUte]

Originally Posted by ERCougar

It's stories like these that frighten men into secrecy and drive the "addiction" (or whatever you want to call it) deeper. The difference between public and private selves leads to serious problems, and the pressure to be publicly "perfect" is really high in our church. People may be right that there is more to the story, but whenever I hear these kinds of stories, I just get really irritated.

Never heard that theory espoused in any church meeting. But it sounds like you are familiar with it.

I really get irritated with people who think a porn addiction is harmless.

[exUte]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Young BYU couple. Temple marriage. Married a year. No kids. He's had a history of off and on struggles with porn which he seems to have a handle on--apparently at least several months in the past but it's had quite a toll on her. He tells her he masturbated, and she kicks him out, threatens divorce over it.

anyway. Sounds like he's perfectly satisfied with himself.

[SoCalCoug]

Originally Posted by exUte

anyway. Sounds like he's perfectly satisfied with himself.

Your sensitivity overwhelms me. You could have a career in counseling.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by exUte

not an authentic crisis? Then you haven't seen the disastrous harm done by those addicted to porn. But go ahead and condone it and blame the spouse for over reacting.

But then again, coming from a Ute, combined with a beer in one hand and ....in the other, it's probably normal behavior.

You almost tempted me into breaking my rule not to ever engage you in any substantive way. Almost.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

You almost tempted me into breaking my rule not to ever engage you in any substantive way. Almost.

Did exUte post?

Hmm.

We preach the "evils" of "addiction" to porn, yet we do not even address it in clinical proportions. I wonder how much evil we have done by driving it underground instead of addressing all aspects of our sexuality in more positive and healthy lights.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Did exUte post?

Hmm.

We preach the "evils" of "addiction" to porn, yet we do not even address it in clinical proportions. I wonder how much evil we have done by driving it underground instead of addressing all aspects of our sexuality in more positive and healthy lights.

I'm not ever going to argue that I think it is a good thing. I think that the worst part about it is that it incentivizes girls to defile themselves, most of them at an age when their judgment is as poor as it will ever be. But its also not the shedding of innocent blood either or adultery, or a drug addiction. Not even in the same zip code, not in my opinion. Certainly not a good thing though, harm can and does come of it.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

I'm not ever going to argue that I think it is a good thing. I think that the worst part about it is that it incentivizes girls to defile themselves, most of them at an age when their judgment is as poor as it will ever be. But its also not the shedding of innocent blood either or adultery, or a drug addiction. Not even in the same zip code, not in my opinion. Certainly not a good thing though.

I don't really know much about pornography, but I will admit that I have been informed that a few of my clients may dabble in the adult entertainment industry. So some of the perils of the industry are known to me vicariously.

Underaged participation is part of the problem, but there are plenty, innumerable who are of age. And many participate willingly after age.

That's not the point.

How much of "Mormon" experimenting with it is tied to a sexually repressive culture?

What is the sociological literature and psychological literature on the affects of pornography in personal relationships? I don't claim to know, but I'm unwilling to accept carte blanche the cultural declarations of religious leaders who are professionally untrained in this aspect.

It sounds probable that some of the participants participate underage and no sane adult would advocate that.

And it affects how people view sexuality in probably a too permissive light such that couples receive a distorted perspective of healthy sexuality.

But the reason Mormon leadership clamps down upon it is due to its impact on mostly men being able to function with expected cultural norms. Whether these expectations are healthy or not, I do not claim to know.