Wife kicks hubby out for masturbating

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by BYU71

I think it is far worse. No one ever told me I would go blind if I committed adultery.

Your ophthalmologist worked wonders for you.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

We obviously don't know the whole story. If he was masturbating to gay porn, for example, I'd say yeah, this is not a man she should try to make a life with--kick him out and get a divorce. If it was child porn, do all of the above and get the police involved.

Assuming he was just yanking off to the usual adult T & A, then her response seems a little extreme. Of course, we still don't have all the facts here. Perhaps they have already been going through counseling the past year and he's made a bunch of promises he hasn't kept. Maybe he's a total louse and the porn was just the last straw. Or maybe you guys are right and she's just a tightly wound Molly Mormon. Who knows?

How dare you inject reason when we wish to demonize the girl. You stop that immediately.

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by Archaea

None of the clinicians have chimed in, but "addiction" to the best of my knowledge is not a clinical term, so go ahead use a lay term.

Does a person really ever become dependent upon pornography to the point he cannot stop and still enjoy sexual union? IMHO, that must be very rare.

In clinical terms I imagine many are abusers of pornographic materials which falls short of the equivalent lay term of addiction.

In a thread about porn addiction, what does IMHO stand for?

[landpoke]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

I in no way mean this as an endorsement of porn, but a group of Mormons can no more answer that question than we can identify the difference between drinking and alcoholism. There is no difference for most of us and any of us who think there might be a difference wouldn't know it if it bit us.

That's what I'm thinking.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Tex

I'm not a fan of the use of the term addiction when it comes to porn, but I'm sure it's so hard to define. Isn't the easiest definition, "can't stop"?

I suppose, but I think "addiction" has a more negative connotation than that, which is why it is problematic term, as you say. That connotation has something to do with the idea that whatever you are addicted to is bad for you, which is not straight forward when it comes to porn or masturbation, at least in terms of whether people agree that it is harmful. IOW, we all agree that an alcohol addiction is bad, for example. Not everyone would agree that moderate doses of the other things are. In fact (and I think it is tough to buy) some say it is good for you.

I think a real addiction involves a compulsion where a person indulges it even when it comes at significant cost. They stop doing other things they enjoy or give them up. Lose lots of time to it. Gambling, drinking, drugs seem like the obvious examples. I will say this, and it will sound dumb, but I spent about 6 months addicted to Warcraft. Stopped doing other things I enjoyed, thoughts focused on it all the time, huge amount of hours. Wasn't helping at home unless forced. It was actually the realization of how some of the behaviors were similar to a drug addiction that made me cancel my account and uninstall it. I can see how someone could get committed to porn that way. That is what I would think of as an addiction. But as I said, for LDS it is never a good thing so that is a distinction that maybe isn't recognized. But if it were my spouse it would make a difference to me if she were really and truly addicted as opposed to occasionally indulging.

Hard to think of a set of facts where I would even consider ending my marriage over it though.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by landpoke

That's what I'm thinking.

Agreed. If you drank a beer once at a party, you're a raging alcoholic.

If you went to Hooters, you deserve to lose your TR and be brought before a council.

Leave drinking and porn to the experts, landpoke, would you please advise and consult.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

I suppose, but I think "addiction" has a more negative connotation than that, which is why it is problematic term, as you say. That connotation has something to do with the idea that whatever you are addicted to is bad for you, which is not straight forward when it comes to porn or masturbation, at least in terms of whether people agree that it is harmful. IOW, we all agree that an alcohol addiction is bad, for example. Not everyone would agree that moderate doses of the other things are. In fact (and I think it is tough to buy) some say it is good for you.

I think a real addiction involves a compulsion where a person indulges it even when it comes at significant cost. They stop doing other things they enjoy or give them up. Lose lots of time to it. Gambling, drinking, drugs seem like the obvious examples. I will say this, and it will sound dumb, but I spent about 6 months addicted to Warcraft. Stopped doing other things I enjoyed, thoughts focused on it all the time, huge amount of hours. Wasn't helping at home unless forced. It was actually the realization of how some of the behaviors were similar to a drug addiction that made me cancel my account and uninstall it. I can see how someone could get committed to porn that way. That is what I would think of as an addiction. But as I said, for LDS it is never a good thing so that is a distinction that maybe isn't recognized. But if it were my spouse it would make a difference to me if she were really and truly addicted as opposed to occasionally indulging.

Hard to think of a set of facts where I would even consider ending my marriage over it though.

It is weird to me to discuss dependent behavior which originates through a substance and body chemical altering physiological dependency and then to transpose that onto non-substance "dependent" behaviors.

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

I suppose, but I think "addiction" has a more negative connotation than that, which is why it is problematic term, as you say. That connotation has something to do with the idea that whatever you are addicted to is bad for you, which is not straight forward when it comes to porn or masturbation, at least in terms of whether people agree that it is harmful. IOW, we all agree that an alcohol addiction is bad, for example. Not everyone would agree that moderate doses of the other things are. In fact (and I think it is tough to buy) some say it is good for you.

I think a real addiction involves a compulsion where a person indulges it even when it comes at significant cost. They stop doing other things they enjoy or give them up. Lose lots of time to it. Gambling, drinking, drugs seem like the obvious examples. I will say this, and it will sound dumb, but I spent about 6 months addicted to Warcraft. Stopped doing other things I enjoyed, thoughts focused on it all the time, huge amount of hours. Wasn't helping at home unless forced. It was actually the realization of how some of the behaviors were similar to a drug addiction that made me cancel my account and uninstall it. I can see how someone could get committed to porn that way. That is what I would think of as an addiction. But as I said, for LDS it is never a good thing so that is a distinction that maybe isn't recognized. But if it were my spouse it would make a difference to me if she were really and truly addicted as opposed to occasionally indulging.

Hard to think of a set of facts where I would even consider ending my marriage over it though.

Did you see the Southpark WOW edition? one of the best ever.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by Archaea

It is weird to me to discuss dependent behavior which originates through a substance and body chemical altering physiological dependency and then to transpose that onto non-substance "dependent" behaviors.

My very rudimentary understanding is that behaviors that reward our pleasure centers can physiologically alter the brain in ways that are similar, if not really the same, as chemicals can. I could be wrong.

[UtahDan]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Did you see the Southpark WOW edition? one of the best ever.

Yeah. Very funny. At least I came away knowing what pwned means.