The First Annual Guardy Awards

[Requiem]

Stunning a packed Orem High Auditorium, co-hosts Ellen Degeneres and Goatnapper kicked off the first annual Guardy Awards with their interpretive dance tribute to “Mutts with Boobs”. The star studded audience wept with joy as Ellen and Goat collapsed into each other’s loving embrace.

The winners:

Ernest L. Wilkinson Memorial Award: BYU71 for his zealous defense of the honor code.

Newcomer of the Year: Mrs. Funk for her dignity and grace under fire.

Mullah Of all Mullahs (MOM): Tex

Poster of the Year: Archaea for his creativity and variety

Asshole of the Year: Rocky Balboa for his obsession with the word

Joseph F. Smith Origins of Man Award: TooBlue for his scholarly work on the evils of evolution

Women of the Year: (Tie) Barbara Gordon, Farrah Waters, SIRS and Marsupial

Best Apostate Impersonation: SeattleUte

Scholar of the Year: Solon

The Real Nobel Peace Prize: Creekster

Best Avatars: cougjunkie

Poster We Would Like to Hear More Often: ChapelHillCoug

Courage Under Fire: (Tie) Jay Santos and Woot

Eliza R. Snow Defender of the Faith Award: IndyCoug (no other nominees)

Best Director: Mike Waters for creating us all

[Cali Coug]

Originally Posted by Requiem

Stunning a packed Orem High Auditorium, co-hosts Ellen Degeneres and Goatnapper kicked off the first annual Guardy Awards with their interpretive dance tribute to “Mutts with Boobs”. The star studded audience wept with joy as Ellen and Goat collapsed into each other’s loving embrace.

The winners:

Ernest L. Wilkinson Memorial Award: BYU71 for his zealous defense of the honor code.

Newcomer of the Year: Mrs. Funk for her dignity and grace under fire.

Mullah Of all Mullahs (MOM): Tex

Poster of the Year: Archaea for his creativity and variety

Asshole of the Year: Rocky Balboa for his obsession with the word

Joseph F. Smith Origins of Man Award: TooBlue for his scholarly work on the evils of evolution

Women of the Year: (Tie) Barbara Gordon, Farrah Waters, SIRS and Marsupial

Best Apostate Impersonation: SeattleUte

Scholar of the Year: Solon

The Real Nobel Peace Prize: Creekster

Best Avatars: cougjunkie

Poster We Would Like to Hear More Often: ChapelHillCoug

Courage Under Fire: (Tie) Jay Santos and Woot

Eliza R. Snow Defender of the Faith Award: IndyCoug (no other nominees)

Best Director: Mike Waters for creating us all

I thought I was up for Most Likely to Fire on Those Courageously Under Fire

[Indy Coug]

Didn't Eliza R. Snow write a song lyric about a Heavenly Mother that somehow got past the network censors and into our hymnbooks?

So I guess I'm a progressive.

[Requiem]

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

Didn't Eliza R. Snow write a song lyric about a Heavenly Mother that somehow got past the network censors and into our hymnbooks?

So I guess I'm a progressive.

Nice catch of a beautiful verse:

When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.

[YOhio]

Very funny Req! One slight quibble, the avatar award should go to '71.

[Requiem]

Originally Posted by YOhio

Very funny Req! One slight quibble, the avatar award should go to '71.

But that would have required '71 to give two speeches, two walks to the stage, etc. Didn't want to "overtax" him so soon after this week's IRS experience.

[Indy Coug]

I should have won the avatar award because it captures the true essence of this board.

[tooblue]

On behalf of creationists everywhere I happily accept this award ... thank you, thank you and God bless!

[cougjunkie]

Originally Posted by YOhio

Very funny Req! One slight quibble, the avatar award should go to '71.

So you lied, you wouldnt hit it!

[Cali Coug]

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

I should have won the avatar award because it captures the true essence of this board.

You did- only it was called the "most appropriate avatar for a poster."