Why I can never leave my house again.... - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Zulu451 · 11-26-2006, 10:24 PM

Or at least go to Double Dave's Pizza for a month.

This past week I was at DD Pizza for my 7 year old's soccer party. My almost 3 year old is playing around the video games and I am talking to a friend (local TV weatherman) and my son is calling me. I look over and he is standing bow-legged in a growing puddle of creamy brown diarrhea!:shock:

I send my friend to get my wife and wisk him off to the bathroom. Once I get into the bathroom, the one stall is occupied by some dude TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE WHILE TAKING A DUMP! After nearly kicking in the door of the stall, informing whomever he was talking to that he was pinching a load whilest chatting, and dropping said phone into said toilet. Better heads prevailed and I get the boy cleaned up.

I come out and grab a nearby teenage employee to inform him of the mess, he walks over stands in the now pool on diarrhea to ask me what he can do to help, I point down to the mess, he bolts for the outside door and proceeds to vomit over a railing of the deck.

At this point, I just grabbing my son told Mama to round up the others and meet me at the car. I took the back door and bolted!

As we are leaving my boy says, "daddy I make big poop balls at pizza guy store".... I wanted to die.

Jeff Lebowski · 11-26-2006, 11:23 PM

LOL. Oh man, what a story.

BigFatMeanie · 11-27-2006, 02:16 AM

Funny story. Here's my latest "kid had an accident" story:

In August we were coming back from Hawaii on United Airlines through Denver. When we got to Denver, I took my 4 year old potty. We had an hour wait in Denver during which he didn't drink anything.

As soon as the plane to SLC started taxiing, my son turned to me and said "Dad, I need to go potty". Normally my son is reliable when it comes to holding it -- I can generally squeeze about 15 mins out of him after he gives his first notice. In addition, I had already taken him potty in the Denver airport and he didn't have anything to drink so I wasn't worried. I told him "just hold it, we'll go to the potty in a little while".

About 2 minutes after his first notice, I smell the distinctive odor of pee. I look at him and sure enough, he's whizzing away in his pants. I guess he was just so tired after the overnight flight from Honolulu to Denver that he either couldn't concentrate and hold it in or he just didn't care.

The flight was in that "nearly vertical full engine thrust" stage that happens just after take-off so there was nothing I could do except sit there. When I was finally able to flag down a flight attendant (a guy) the only thing I could say was "my son had an accident" and point to the wet seat. The flight attendant guy didn't seem too bothered by it. He brought over a blanket for my son to sit on and said they would change the seat out when they got to SLC.

The pee smell died down after a while and I couldn't tell if any of the other passengers noticed it. If they did, they were polite enough to not say anything. By the time we got off the plane in SLC, the seat looked mostly dry. That plane had an immediate turnaround back to Denver. Given the fact that the seat looked dry, the flight attendant was preoccupied, and the short turn around, I bet they never got around to changing that seat cover out.

To whoever had to sit in my son's pee-soaked seat from SLC to Denver this past August - I'm sorry.

Zulu451 · 11-28-2006, 08:13 PM

It is nice to know that I am not the only one with kid accidents.

11-26-2006, 10:24 PM	#1
Zulu451 house-elf 3rd class Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 386	Why I can never leave my house again.... Or at least go to Double Dave's Pizza for a month. This past week I was at DD Pizza for my 7 year old's soccer party. My almost 3 year old is playing around the video games and I am talking to a friend (local TV weatherman) and my son is calling me. I look over and he is standing bow-legged in a growing puddle of creamy brown diarrhea!:shock: I send my friend to get my wife and wisk him off to the bathroom. Once I get into the bathroom, the one stall is occupied by some dude TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE WHILE TAKING A DUMP! After nearly kicking in the door of the stall, informing whomever he was talking to that he was pinching a load whilest chatting, and dropping said phone into said toilet. Better heads prevailed and I get the boy cleaned up. I come out and grab a nearby teenage employee to inform him of the mess, he walks over stands in the now pool on diarrhea to ask me what he can do to help, I point down to the mess, he bolts for the outside door and proceeds to vomit over a railing of the deck. At this point, I just grabbing my son told Mama to round up the others and meet me at the car. I took the back door and bolted! As we are leaving my boy says, "daddy I make big poop balls at pizza guy store".... I wanted to die.

11-26-2006, 11:23 PM	#2
Jeff Lebowski Charon Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the heart of darkness (Provo) Posts: 9,564	LOL. Oh man, what a story. __________________ "... the arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice." Martin Luther King, Jr.

11-27-2006, 02:16 AM	#3
BigFatMeanie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: South Jordan Posts: 1,725	Funny story. Here's my latest "kid had an accident" story: In August we were coming back from Hawaii on United Airlines through Denver. When we got to Denver, I took my 4 year old potty. We had an hour wait in Denver during which he didn't drink anything. As soon as the plane to SLC started taxiing, my son turned to me and said "Dad, I need to go potty". Normally my son is reliable when it comes to holding it -- I can generally squeeze about 15 mins out of him after he gives his first notice. In addition, I had already taken him potty in the Denver airport and he didn't have anything to drink so I wasn't worried. I told him "just hold it, we'll go to the potty in a little while". About 2 minutes after his first notice, I smell the distinctive odor of pee. I look at him and sure enough, he's whizzing away in his pants. I guess he was just so tired after the overnight flight from Honolulu to Denver that he either couldn't concentrate and hold it in or he just didn't care. The flight was in that "nearly vertical full engine thrust" stage that happens just after take-off so there was nothing I could do except sit there. When I was finally able to flag down a flight attendant (a guy) the only thing I could say was "my son had an accident" and point to the wet seat. The flight attendant guy didn't seem too bothered by it. He brought over a blanket for my son to sit on and said they would change the seat out when they got to SLC. The pee smell died down after a while and I couldn't tell if any of the other passengers noticed it. If they did, they were polite enough to not say anything. By the time we got off the plane in SLC, the seat looked mostly dry. That plane had an immediate turnaround back to Denver. Given the fact that the seat looked dry, the flight attendant was preoccupied, and the short turn around, I bet they never got around to changing that seat cover out. To whoever had to sit in my son's pee-soaked seat from SLC to Denver this past August - I'm sorry.

11-28-2006, 08:13 PM	#4
Zulu451 house-elf 3rd class Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 386	It is nice to know that I am not the only one with kid accidents.