LDS sex education - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

SoCalCoug · 01-07-2008, 05:45 PM

Serious question. I have a 10-year-old step-daughter and a 9-year-old son. Before we know it, we're going to have to deal with the sex stuff.

As LDS members, we're all about abstinence before marriage. So, of course, we want that to be the overriding principle regarding our children's sexual relations.

However, I don't know that I want my children to be so naive about the issue that if they choose to disobey the rules about pre-marital sexual relations, they end up suffering worse consequences than necessary (i.e., pregnancy, STD's, etc.).

How do we, as LDS members who fully subscribe to the law of chastity, nevertheless deal with protection issues, without making it seem like we are giving a wink and a nod to premarital sex?

Archaea · 01-07-2008, 05:56 PM

Do you talk about sex with them now? They're old enough the thoughts have been discussed at school.

And don't you describe the mechanics and what some people do? If not, you may wish to start now.

RockyBalboa · 01-07-2008, 07:40 PM

The phrase "LDS Sex Education" is as oxymoronic as any I've ever heard uttered.

Please don't think I'm bashing you SoCal...I'm not....just my attempt at a lame joke, because you do bring up an important topic.

BYU71 · 01-07-2008, 07:45 PM

[QUOTE=SoCalCoug;171201]Serious question. I have a 10-year-old step-daughter and a 9-year-old son. Before we know it, we're going to have to deal with the sex stuff.

As LDS members, we're all about abstinence before marriage. So, of course, we want that to be the overriding principle regarding our children's sexual relations.

However, I don't know that I want my children to be so naive about the issue that if they choose to disobey the rules about pre-marital sexual relations, they end up suffering worse consequences than necessary (i.e., pregnancy, STD's, etc.).

What a tough, tough question. I don't have an anwer either. I have heard talking to them about birth control and it is like giving them permission. On the other hand a 15-17 year old pregnant girl is not a good situation.

nikuman · 01-07-2008, 07:50 PM

I'm more open than most parents about this. My five year old daughter asked where babies came from. So we told her. We didn't go into the nitty-gritty of mechanics or protection issues, but we will as she's more curious.

marsupial · 01-07-2008, 08:00 PM

I'm pretty sure that after my 7th grade sex ed unit I knew more about birth control than my mother. My teacher passed around a diaphragm, put a condom on a banana, talked about the pill and everything else.

What do you as a parent say about birth control? I don't really know. I am more for the open and honest approach. More important, I think, is establishing house rules that would limit their opportunities, such as no dating until 16 and then only group dates, etc. You can't be with them all the time, so when you're not, you gotta hope that they'll do the right thing. I don't know what else you can do.

jay santos · 01-07-2008, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoCalCoug

Serious question. I have a 10-year-old step-daughter and a 9-year-old son. Before we know it, we're going to have to deal with the sex stuff.

As LDS members, we're all about abstinence before marriage. So, of course, we want that to be the overriding principle regarding our children's sexual relations.

However, I don't know that I want my children to be so naive about the issue that if they choose to disobey the rules about pre-marital sexual relations, they end up suffering worse consequences than necessary (i.e., pregnancy, STD's, etc.).

How do we, as LDS members who fully subscribe to the law of chastity, nevertheless deal with protection issues, without making it seem like we are giving a wink and a nod to premarital sex?

Like Marsupial said, they teach that stuff at school. Maybe a good approach would be to contrast the two styles. Church doesn't teach you anything about protection and pregnancy and STD's because they teach you not to do it and have faith that you won't. Schools assume you'll do it and teach you how to protect yourself. Analyze the two approaches with your kids, maybe even with a scenario, "what if an LDS kid messes up, would it be better to use protection?"

Archaea · 01-07-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jay santos

Like Marsupial said, they teach that stuff at school. Maybe a good approach would be to contrast the two styles. Church doesn't teach you anything about protection and pregnancy and STD's because they teach you not to do it and have faith that you won't. Schools assume you'll do it and teach you how to protect yourself. Analyze the two approaches with your kids, maybe even with a scenario, "what if an LDS kid messes up, would it be better to use protection?"

Well the mechanics of birth control options can be taught best by health care professionals.

However, the role of intimacy needs to start in the home, and it must start with how the children treat others, listen to the feelings of others, and how it extends to physical contact.

In my mind, it is best to defrock the mystery of sex for children as early as possible, so that it isn't taboo.

marsupial · 01-07-2008, 08:14 PM

I think one of the reasons LDS girls get knocked up is they think they're not going to have sex, but then let themselves get into a situation where they end up doing it. Whereas, kids who don't think they need to wait until marriage to have sex may be more likely to come to such event prepared, because they've been hoping all along they were going to do it.

So, my advice is to tell your kids to pack a couple of Trojans in their scriptures and then to make sure they keep their scriptures with them whenever they go out.

Archaea · 01-07-2008, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marsupial

I think one of the reasons LDS girls get knocked up is they think they're not going to have sex, but then let themselves get into a situation where they end up doing it. Whereas, kids who don't think they need to wait until marriage to have sex may be more likely to come to such event prepared, because they've been hoping all along they were going to do it.

So, my advice is to tell your kids to pack a couple of Trojans in their scriptures and then to make sure they keep their scriptures with them whenever they go out.

Perhaps you should just a bunch of morning after pills in stock so that the kids know where to find them in case the unplanned sexual event happens.

01-07-2008, 05:45 PM	#1
SoCalCoug Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Orange County, California Posts: 3,059	LDS sex education Serious question. I have a 10-year-old step-daughter and a 9-year-old son. Before we know it, we're going to have to deal with the sex stuff. As LDS members, we're all about abstinence before marriage. So, of course, we want that to be the overriding principle regarding our children's sexual relations. However, I don't know that I want my children to be so naive about the issue that if they choose to disobey the rules about pre-marital sexual relations, they end up suffering worse consequences than necessary (i.e., pregnancy, STD's, etc.). How do we, as LDS members who fully subscribe to the law of chastity, nevertheless deal with protection issues, without making it seem like we are giving a wink and a nod to premarital sex? __________________ Get your stinking paws off me, you damned, dirty Yewt! "Now perhaps as I spanked myself screaming out "Kozlowski, say it like you mean it bitch!" might have been out of line, but such was the mood." - Goatnapper "If you want to fatten a pig up to make the pig MORE delicious, you can feed it almost anything. Seriously. The pig is like the car on Back to the Future. You put in garbage, and out comes something magical!" - Cali Coug

01-07-2008, 05:56 PM	#2
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Do you talk about sex with them now? They're old enough the thoughts have been discussed at school. And don't you describe the mechanics and what some people do? If not, you may wish to start now. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

01-07-2008, 07:40 PM	#3
RockyBalboa Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Salt Lake City Posts: 7,297	The phrase "LDS Sex Education" is as oxymoronic as any I've ever heard uttered. Please don't think I'm bashing you SoCal...I'm not....just my attempt at a lame joke, because you do bring up an important topic. __________________ Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'.

01-07-2008, 07:45 PM	#4
BYU71 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 5,084	[QUOTE=SoCalCoug;171201]Serious question. I have a 10-year-old step-daughter and a 9-year-old son. Before we know it, we're going to have to deal with the sex stuff. As LDS members, we're all about abstinence before marriage. So, of course, we want that to be the overriding principle regarding our children's sexual relations. However, I don't know that I want my children to be so naive about the issue that if they choose to disobey the rules about pre-marital sexual relations, they end up suffering worse consequences than necessary (i.e., pregnancy, STD's, etc.). What a tough, tough question. I don't have an anwer either. I have heard talking to them about birth control and it is like giving them permission. On the other hand a 15-17 year old pregnant girl is not a good situation.

01-07-2008, 07:50 PM	#5
nikuman Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Somewhere between NYC and Houston Posts: 625	I'm more open than most parents about this. My five year old daughter asked where babies came from. So we told her. We didn't go into the nitty-gritty of mechanics or protection issues, but we will as she's more curious.

01-07-2008, 08:00 PM	#6
marsupial Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I... Isn't it so fun to spell? Posts: 1,701	I'm pretty sure that after my 7th grade sex ed unit I knew more about birth control than my mother. My teacher passed around a diaphragm, put a condom on a banana, talked about the pill and everything else. What do you as a parent say about birth control? I don't really know. I am more for the open and honest approach. More important, I think, is establishing house rules that would limit their opportunities, such as no dating until 16 and then only group dates, etc. You can't be with them all the time, so when you're not, you gotta hope that they'll do the right thing. I don't know what else you can do.

01-07-2008, 08:14 PM	#9
marsupial Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I... Isn't it so fun to spell? Posts: 1,701	I think one of the reasons LDS girls get knocked up is they think they're not going to have sex, but then let themselves get into a situation where they end up doing it. Whereas, kids who don't think they need to wait until marriage to have sex may be more likely to come to such event prepared, because they've been hoping all along they were going to do it. So, my advice is to tell your kids to pack a couple of Trojans in their scriptures and then to make sure they keep their scriptures with them whenever they go out.