Does this seem weird to you?

[Black Diamond Bay]

I would like a male perspective on this one from unbiased parties.

I went on a blind date a few months ago with someone my sister set me up with, whom she had never actually met. That's right, she met him online before she met her husband. This individual lives back east, so she never met him in person, but somehow found out he was in town this summer, and immediately pawned him off on me because she knows I'm fond of blind dates.

We went to dinner one night, right before he left for the airport. I think I spent one, maybe two hours with him before he left. Since then he calls, emails, etc... You know, stays in touch. He's always saying that I need to leave California and move back east to marry him, but it's a joke. It's always been a joke. Then suddenly yesterday things took this turn to the serious side, and he said that he really wants me to come to New Jersey. He tried to talk me into Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I declined. So then he's moved along to this "you're losing your job anyway, why don't you come live out here for a month, I know someone with a basement apartment that will let you stay there..." line. Again I declined, on the grounds that I need to start school. So then he tried negotiating for two weeks, and I finally promised that I would consider one. However, I gave him a long list of all the reasons why I would not be a suitable spouse for him, and he listened and said that I have said nothing that has changed his mind. He followed that up with a speech about being a worthy priesthood holder, stable, solid career, generous, loving, etc... and says that I need to plan on heading east.

I have tried to impress upon him the reality that the mere idea of going out there to visit gives me anxiety, much less actually going, and the thought of moving there makes me feel panicky. He says that's fine, it wouldn't panic him, and the fact that we are different is a good thing!?!?

I also tried telling him that I can't promise anything because if BYU goes to a BCS bowl game I will need to attend, and that may put some financial restraints on me that will not allow me to go dinking off on the east coast while I should be finding my little part-time student job out here. He was completely unphased and said that he will come meet me at the bowl game, and accompany me from there back east, and he has connections and can easily find me a job to work while I'm out there.

My roommate thinks I should go, I think one week trapped on the opposite coast with someone I've only met once is most definitely not a good idea, and that I should stay and get ready to start school.

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

I would like a male perspective on this one from unbiased parties.

I went on a blind date a few months ago with someone my sister set me up with, whom she had never actually met. That's right, she met him online before she met her husband. This individual lives back east, so she never met him in person, but somehow found out he was in town this summer, and immediately pawned him off on me because she knows I'm fond of blind dates.

We went to dinner one night, right before he left for the airport. I think I spent one, maybe two hours with him before he left. Since then he calls, emails, etc... You know, stays in touch. He's always saying that I need to leave California and move back east to marry him, but it's a joke. It's always been a joke. Then suddenly yesterday things took this turn to the serious side, and he said that he really wants me to come to New Jersey. He tried to talk me into Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I declined. So then he's moved along to this "you're losing your job anyway, why don't you come live out here for a month, I know someone with a basement apartment that will let you stay there..." line. Again I declined, on the grounds that I need to start school. So then he tried negotiating for two weeks, and I finally promised that I would consider one. However, I gave him a long list of all the reasons why I would not be a suitable spouse for him, and he listened and said that I have said nothing that has changed his mind. He followed that up with a speech about being a worthy priesthood holder, stable, solid career, generous, loving, etc... and says that I need to plan on heading east.

I have tried to impress upon him the reality that the mere idea of going out there to visit gives me anxiety, much less actually going, and the thought of moving there makes me feel panicky. He says that's fine, it wouldn't panic him, and the fact that we are different is a good thing!?!?

I also tried telling him that I can't promise anything because if BYU goes to a BCS bowl game I will need to attend, and that may put some financial restraints on me that will not allow me to go dinking off on the east coast while I should be finding my little part-time student job out here. He was completely unphased and said that he will come meet me at the bowl game, and accompany me from there back east, and he has connections and can easily find me a job to work while I'm out there.

My roommate thinks I should go, I think one week trapped on the opposite coast with someone I've only met once is most definitely not a good idea, and that I should stay and get ready to start school.

A couple of thoughts:

1. How long does it take to "get ready to start school"?

2. Why not go back east and spend a week with the guy? If it doesnt work out then you go back to Utah or wherever you are. If it does work out all the better.

3. Seems like you are just trying to find reasons why it can't work out. He seems pretty accomodating and wants to see if you are the right one. Why not take a chance?

[TheSizzle36]

I can totally understand your anxiety. I know I would have similar feelings. However, sometimes the biggest rewards in life require the biggest risks. Why not try a week out there and see where it goes. If a spark flies, or if you get along, the week will be well worth it. If nothing happens, there is a lot to do on the east coast and a lot to see. Public transportation (buses, trains, cabs, etc) is a staple of life, and you can get by without renting a car. If you know after a couple of days that you absolutely can't tolerate him, then you can be blunt about it, take off and go your own way. And if things are good, then you win.

I'd probably advise to go for it.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by Mormon Red Death

A couple of thoughts:

1. How long does it take to "get ready to start school"?

2. Why not go back east and spend a week with the guy? If it doesnt work out then you go back to Utah or wherever you are. If it does work out all the better.

3. Seems like you are just trying to find reasons why it can't work out. He seems pretty accomodating and wants to see if you are the right one. Why not take a chance?

1. I need to find my part-time student job. That might take a long time, I don't know.

Obviously I'm trying to get out of it. Isn't the better question why SHOULD I take a chance? That has the potential to be a very long, awkward week.

[creekster]

If you weren't intrigued you wouldn't ask. If you are intrigued, why not see what happens?

[TheSizzle36]

Originally Posted by creekster

If you weren't intrigued you wouldn't ask. If you are intrigued, why not see what happens?

Simple and concise. Listen to the monkey.

[DrumNFeather]

Originally Posted by TheSizzle36

I can totally understand your anxiety. I know I would have similar feelings. However, sometimes the biggest rewards in life require the biggest risks. Why not try a week out there and see where it goes. If a spark flies, or if you get along, the week will be well worth it. If nothing happens, there is a lot to do on the east coast and a lot to see. Public transportation (buses, trains, cabs, etc) is a staple of life, and you can get by without renting a car. If you know after a couple of days that you absolutely can't tolerate him, then you can be blunt about it, take off and go your own way. And if things are good, then you win.

I'd probably advise to go for it.

To go along with Sizzle's advice, if you agree to give it a shot, you're doing so for a December/January time frame. Based on that committment, you then have 3 months or so to get to know this guy long distance (which isn't the same, I know) without some of the pressures and awkwardness that come with the early stages of dating & courtship.

Just something to think about.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by DrumNFeather

To go along with Sizzle's advice, if you agree to give it a shot, you're doing so for a December/January time frame. Based on that committment, you then have 3 months or so to get to know this guy long distance (which isn't the same, I know) without some of the pressures and awkwardness that come with the early stages of dating & courtship.

Just something to think about.

That's actually the only reason I agreed to take it into consideration. It gives me lots of time to back out if necessary.

[RC Vikings]

I regret more things I haven't done in my life then things I have.

[Sleeping in EQ]

How did things go when you met this guy for 1-2 hours? What was he like?