I know this is from the other board but this is so funny - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

cougjunkie · 12-22-2005, 03:30 PM

I thought I would bring a little humor thanks to Brian:

Does anyone know if the following scenario has occured?

You get a letter from HQ. It's the mission call. With excitement and a bit of trepidation, you assemble the family into the parlour. Seated, mom with the phone at the ready to call Aunt Nancy, you gingerly tear the envelope, not wanting to completely destroy it. Shaking, you remove the letter, unfold it and read:

Dear Elder Corn:
We appreciate your interest in participiting in the Church's missionary program, however, we have been unable to find a suitable match of your skills with a mission's needs.

Thanks for your interest.
Respectfully,
The Church.

Faces droop, mother cries and Elder Corn goes out into the backyard and hangs himself from the old Elm tree.

Regards,
Brian

SoCalCoug · 12-22-2005, 03:41 PM

Funny.

For some reason something my brother did years ago came to mind.

My parents had recently purchased a cultivator (a little spiky thing on the end of a pole, that you rolled around in the garden for some reason) for use in the backyard. One of my brother's chores was to roll the cultivator around in the planter area.

Apparently, he knew how to use it, but he was confused about what to call it.

He came in one day, and my mom asked him what he was doing. He replied, "I was out in the backyard masturbating."

cougjunkie · 12-22-2005, 03:44 PM

nm

12-22-2005, 03:30 PM	#1
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	I know this is from the other board but this is so funny I thought I would bring a little humor thanks to Brian: Does anyone know if the following scenario has occured? You get a letter from HQ. It's the mission call. With excitement and a bit of trepidation, you assemble the family into the parlour. Seated, mom with the phone at the ready to call Aunt Nancy, you gingerly tear the envelope, not wanting to completely destroy it. Shaking, you remove the letter, unfold it and read: Dear Elder Corn: We appreciate your interest in participiting in the Church's missionary program, however, we have been unable to find a suitable match of your skills with a mission's needs. Thanks for your interest. Respectfully, The Church. Faces droop, mother cries and Elder Corn goes out into the backyard and hangs himself from the old Elm tree. Regards, Brian

12-22-2005, 03:41 PM	#2
SoCalCoug Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Orange County, California Posts: 3,059	Funny. For some reason something my brother did years ago came to mind. My parents had recently purchased a cultivator (a little spiky thing on the end of a pole, that you rolled around in the garden for some reason) for use in the backyard. One of my brother's chores was to roll the cultivator around in the planter area. Apparently, he knew how to use it, but he was confused about what to call it. He came in one day, and my mom asked him what he was doing. He replied, "I was out in the backyard masturbating." __________________ Get your stinking paws off me, you damned, dirty Yewt! "Now perhaps as I spanked myself screaming out "Kozlowski, say it like you mean it bitch!" might have been out of line, but such was the mood." - Goatnapper "If you want to fatten a pig up to make the pig MORE delicious, you can feed it almost anything. Seriously. The pig is like the car on Back to the Future. You put in garbage, and out comes something magical!" - Cali Coug

12-22-2005, 03:44 PM	#3
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	lol, what did your mom say? nm