Punishing the weak and the old...

[DirtyHippieUTE]

So I was out for a spin today... I think it was about 60 miles. I was about 15 miles into my ride at the bottom of a long downhill when I stopped at a T intersection.

I looked back over my shoulder and saw two riders approaching.

A little background here:
1- After riding the mountains of Utah these little rolls they call hills in Eastern Washington really don't scare me.
2- I am a 250 lb. downhill machine.

In other words...

I know I was going faster than your average bear and was very surprised to see two riders catching me. I assumed these must be cycling GODS because no mere mortal would possibly approach me at the end of a downhill. Because I don't like to be passed I quickly mounted my trusty Trek and pedaled away. At the top of the next roll I had to stop to re-adjust and suddenly the cycling GOD was upon me.

I was SHOCKED to find this was no GOD. This was a mere mortal like me. At the top of the hill one of them was waiting for the other. The slower rider was old and weak. I knew it was my duty to punish them.

To make matters worse... They were both doctors that work with my wife. There was a storm on the horizon and I predicted a 100% chance of PAIN.

I spent the next 30 miles riding up a light 2% grade into a really stiff wind. Fortunately for me... I do well on easy climbs and the wind doesn't seem to kill me like it does other people (because of my round aerodynamic shape).

I am proud to say I was able to help both of them enjoy their first near death experience. Just as they were prepared to "go toward the light" I had pity on them and backed off a little.

I can't wait for Mrs. Hippie to go to work next week. I have told her she must demand a bigger office, a 2nd nurse and an additional MA. If they complain she will threaten them with another beating from the tubby hippie.

muahahahahahaa

Seriously:
Huge self esteem boost to ride with people who have NOT been professional athletes in a former life. Now there are people who think I'm cool.... The ego is happy.

[Quisqueyano]

Originally Posted by DirtyHippieUTE

So I was out for a spin today... I think it was about 60 miles. I was about 15 miles into my ride at the bottom of a long downhill when I stopped at a T intersection.

I looked back over my shoulder and saw two riders approaching.

A little background here:
1- After riding the mountains of Utah these little rolls they call hills in Eastern Washington really don't scare me.
2- I am a 250 lb. downhill machine.

In other words...

I know I was going faster than your average bear and was very surprised to see two riders catching me. I assumed these must be cycling GODS because no mere mortal would possibly approach me at the end of a downhill. Because I don't like to be passed I quickly mounted my trusty Trek and pedaled away. At the top of the next roll I had to stop to re-adjust and suddenly the cycling GOD was upon me.

I was SHOCKED to find this was no GOD. This was a mere mortal like me. At the top of the hill one of them was waiting for the other. The slower rider was old and weak. I knew it was my duty to punish them.

To make matters worse... They were both doctors that work with my wife. There was a storm on the horizon and I predicted a 100% chance of PAIN.

I spent the next 30 miles riding up a light 2% grade into a really stiff wind. Fortunately for me... I do well on easy climbs and the wind doesn't seem to kill me like it does other people (because of my round aerodynamic shape).

I am proud to say I was able to help both of them enjoy their first near death experience. Just as they were prepared to "go toward the light" I had pity on them and backed off a little.

I can't wait for Mrs. Hippie to go to work next week. I have told her she must demand a bigger office, a 2nd nurse and an additional MA. If they complain she will threaten them with another beating from the tubby hippie.

muahahahahahaa

Seriously:
Huge self esteem boost to ride with people who have NOT been professional athletes in a former life. Now there are people who think I'm cool.... The ego is happy.

Hippie, let me just say that I like your posts the best. I laugh the whole time I am reading.
"100% chance of pain".
Classic.