Topics you never hear at Church - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

The Borg · 02-06-2007, 09:26 PM

Ok...a previous discussion with another poster made me think...at General Conference, and especially at the priesthood session.

You hear talk after talk to the men, to 1) avoid pornography, 2) keep yourself morally clean; 3) get off your duff and be anxiously engaged...in something productive; 4) do you duty...yadda yadda yadda...

So...why is it that there are no corresponding "talks" in General Conference or a General Relief Society Broadcast that addresses the ills of womanhood?

How many of you have seen a bishop or stake president take on the women and issues that they are having? I really don't know if I can come up with an example where they have?

Anyone?

Indy Coug · 02-06-2007, 09:27 PM

I've seen several talks about gossip.

The Borg · 02-06-2007, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

I've seen several talks about gossip.

I tend to think that this is a problem in more wards than a few...yet, I have heard talks on this in a 'general' sense...when indeed there was a big riff caused in a ward regarding this very thing (now that you mention it).

But, again, it was discussed in a general, candy coated way instead of taking the women to task.

Perhaps the notion of them responding way differently than men do has some merit. Would be kinda entertaining just to see though!

All-American · 02-06-2007, 10:48 PM

Stephen Robinson at BYU told his students that some church leaders believe that the analogous equivalent to the problem men have with pornography in the church is the problem women have with prudishness. To make matters worse, one can easily see where this starts a rather vicious cycle.

But find for me one general authority who will teach in the name of God and as a representative of the church that wives need to give it up more often and I'll show you one guy who's name is gonna come up after the words "any opposed by the same sign."

Not for me, mind you. But somebody will.

BigFatMeanie · 02-06-2007, 11:25 PM

I ranted about this in our Marriage/Family relations class in Sunday School a few months back. My thesis was this:

Basically all talks in the Church directed at women are positive and upbeat: "You're doing a wonderful job. You are wonderful daughters of our Father in Heaven. Be happy. Our Heavenly Father loves you. Have Joy. We all love you."

Basically all talks in the Church directed at men are to point out some area where men are failing in their responsibilities. "Stop looking at porno. Do your home teaching. Stop looking at porno. Love your wife and kids. Stop looking at porno. Don't gamble. Stop looking at porno. Oh yeah, do your home teaching."

You may find a counter example here or there but the sum of all talks definitely flows in the direction of chastizement for men and postive encouragement for women.

Jeff Lebowski · 02-06-2007, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

I ranted about this in our Marriage/Family relations class in Sunday School a few months back. My thesis was this:

Basically all talks in the Church directed at women are positive and upbeat: "You're doing a wonderful job. You are wonderful daughters of our Father in Heaven. Be happy. Our Heavenly Father loves you. Have Joy. We all love you."

Basically all talks in the Church directed at men are to point out some area where men are failing in their responsibilities. "Stop looking at porno. Do your home teaching. Stop looking at porno. Love your wife and kids. Stop looking at porno. Don't gamble. Stop looking at porno. Oh yeah, do your home teaching."

You may find a counter example here or there but the sum of all talks definitely flows in the direction of chastizement for men and postive encouragement for women.

Amen, brother. Well said.

marsupial · 02-07-2007, 12:02 AM

Women are pretty hard on themselves as it is. We're never pretty enough or skinny enough. It doesn't take much to make us feel like a crappy mother, wife, etc. We compare ourselves to other women and we never measure up. One of our greatest faults IS being too hard on ourselves and that is addressed in all of those encouraging talks we hear in conference.

It is true, many women could use a good talk on not nagging their husbands (my mom and sisters-in-law for example).

Archaea · 02-07-2007, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marsupial

Women are pretty hard on themselves as it is. We're never pretty enough or skinny enough. It doesn't take much to make us feel like a crappy mother, wife, etc. We compare ourselves to other women and we never measure up. One of our greatest faults IS being too hard on ourselves and that is addressed in all of those encouraging talks we hear in conference.

It is true, many women could use a good talk on not nagging their husbands (my mom and sisters-in-law for example).

It will take a family therapist, psychologist or sociologist to determine who is harder on selves, but do you necessarily believe men are easier on themselves?

Life is encouraging but challenging, and it can tend to beat down either gender fairly severely.

marsupial · 02-07-2007, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archaea

It will take a family therapist, psychologist or sociologist to determine who is harder on selves, but do you necessarily believe men are easier on themselves?

Life is encouraging but challenging, and it can tend to beat down either gender fairly severely.

Since I am not a man, I don't really know. I am way harder on myself than danimal is on himself.

Archaea · 02-07-2007, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marsupial

Since I am not a man, I don't really know. I am way harder on myself than danimal is on himself.

That would be an interesting quantitative study for a qualitative aspect.

Your perspective is valid and worth considering. Whether one gender is "harsher" is indeterminable. Men may internalize their shortcomings differently and manifest the internalization differently.

If I'm not mistaken, men are more prone to depression that women, if that means anything.

The answer is probably a combination of subconscious guilt, culture, and self-awareness. It is difficult to judge the failings, really, of a gender which one is not. So male leaders rather go on the gender least understood by them, go soft for guilt and PR.

Oh well, I better go study my porn, I mean conduct internet research.

02-06-2007, 09:26 PM	#1
The Borg Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 533	Topics you never hear at Church Ok...a previous discussion with another poster made me think...at General Conference, and especially at the priesthood session. You hear talk after talk to the men, to 1) avoid pornography, 2) keep yourself morally clean; 3) get off your duff and be anxiously engaged...in something productive; 4) do you duty...yadda yadda yadda... So...why is it that there are no corresponding "talks" in General Conference or a General Relief Society Broadcast that addresses the ills of womanhood? How many of you have seen a bishop or stake president take on the women and issues that they are having? I really don't know if I can come up with an example where they have? Anyone? __________________ Hello......helloo.......HELLLOOO!

02-06-2007, 10:48 PM	#4
All-American Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,420	Stephen Robinson at BYU told his students that some church leaders believe that the analogous equivalent to the problem men have with pornography in the church is the problem women have with prudishness. To make matters worse, one can easily see where this starts a rather vicious cycle. But find for me one general authority who will teach in the name of God and as a representative of the church that wives need to give it up more often and I'll show you one guy who's name is gonna come up after the words "any opposed by the same sign." Not for me, mind you. But somebody will. __________________ εν αρχη ην ο λογος

02-07-2007, 12:02 AM	#7
marsupial Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I... Isn't it so fun to spell? Posts: 1,701	Women are pretty hard on themselves as it is. We're never pretty enough or skinny enough. It doesn't take much to make us feel like a crappy mother, wife, etc. We compare ourselves to other women and we never measure up. One of our greatest faults IS being too hard on ourselves and that is addressed in all of those encouraging talks we hear in conference. It is true, many women could use a good talk on not nagging their husbands (my mom and sisters-in-law for example). __________________ "Mormon men are inherently sexy..." -Archaea

02-06-2007, 09:27 PM	#2
Indy Coug Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Between Iraq and a hard place Posts: 7,569	I've seen several talks about gossip.

02-06-2007, 11:25 PM	#5
BigFatMeanie Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: South Jordan Posts: 1,725	I ranted about this in our Marriage/Family relations class in Sunday School a few months back. My thesis was this: Basically all talks in the Church directed at women are positive and upbeat: "You're doing a wonderful job. You are wonderful daughters of our Father in Heaven. Be happy. Our Heavenly Father loves you. Have Joy. We all love you." Basically all talks in the Church directed at men are to point out some area where men are failing in their responsibilities. "Stop looking at porno. Do your home teaching. Stop looking at porno. Love your wife and kids. Stop looking at porno. Don't gamble. Stop looking at porno. Oh yeah, do your home teaching." You may find a counter example here or there but the sum of all talks definitely flows in the direction of chastizement for men and postive encouragement for women.