The insert your rival schools name here jokes are quite possibly the lowest form - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

mpfunk · 11-18-2007, 11:42 PM

of humor known to man. Unfortunately we are about to get them from both sides this whole damn week.

il Padrino Ute · 11-18-2007, 11:53 PM

Agreed. The one thing that always ruins rivalry week is that it caters to the lowest common denominator on both sides.

I love the game itself, but hate the week. Saturday can't get here soon enough.

non sequitur · 11-19-2007, 12:09 AM

Hey, some of them are pretty funny. Here's my favorite:

Q: What's the difference between a BYU co-ed and a toilet?

A: A toilet doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you use it.

il Padrino Ute · 11-19-2007, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by non sequitur

Hey, some of them are pretty funny. Here's my favorite:

Q: What's the difference between a BYU co-ed and a toilet?

A: A toilet doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you use it.

I have to admit that that one makes me laugh each time I hear it. I guess my wife is right when she says that she has 5 kids. Hey, you're only as old as you act, right?

Detroitdad · 11-19-2007, 12:45 AM

Q. How do you break a Ute fans finger?

A. Punch him in the nose.

Lame, lame, lame.

tooblue · 11-19-2007, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detroitdad

Q. How do you break a Ute fans finger?

A. Punch him in the nose.

Lame, lame, lame.

That one made me chuckly out loud!

TheSizzle36 · 11-19-2007, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mpfunk

of humor known to man. Unfortunately we are about to get them from both sides this whole damn week.

Agreed, the absolute worst ones are the rivalry jokes that get passed around via email that are set to make fun of a certain school, and somebody gets it and simply replaces the school name. One of the worst is the "Hound dog Cheerleader" one with the Alabama & LSU Cheerleaders and the third one is of 3 dogs with jacked up teeth.

#1 At least change the first two schools to be a school in the same region/conference.
#2 At least change the font color of the school that you are making fun of so that it matches the school.

Of course, I'd prefer NOT seeing that weak smack anyways, but if you're going to do that, they take the time to at least do a half-assed job at it.

myboynoah · 11-19-2007, 01:47 AM

Contribution #1:

The other day Li’l Ute Fan came home from school proud as a peach.

“Today we did our numbers and the other kids only counted to 10, but I counted all the way to 15. Is that because I’m a Ute Fan, mommy?” he asked searchingly.

“Why yes, Li’l Ute Fan,” his mom assured him, “It’s because you’re a Ute Fan.”

The next day Li’l Ute Fan came home with even better news.

“Today we did our letters and the other kids could only make it to ‘M,’ but I made it all the way to ‘U.’ Is that because I’m a Ute Fan, mommy?” he asked eagerly.

“Why yes, Li’l Ute Fan,” his mom assured him, “It’s because you’re a Ute Fan.”

The next day Li’l Ute Fan came home even more excited than the before.

“Today we played basketball and I scored the most points because I’m bigger than the other kids. Is that because I’m a Ute Fan, mommy?” he asked elatedly.

“Well no, Li’l Ute Fan,” his mom responded slowly, “It’s because you’re 26 years old.”

YOhio · 11-19-2007, 01:51 AM

Q: What's the difference b/w a girl at the U and one at the Y?

A: The girl at the Y goes to school looking for a husband and the girl at the U goes to school looking for the father.

Detroitdad · 11-19-2007, 02:11 AM

After Kyle Whittingham dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Whit a little two-bedroom house with a faded Utah banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach," God says happily. "Most people don't get their own houses up here." says.
Whit looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. BYU flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge BYU banner hangs between the marble columns.
"Thanks for the house, God," Whit says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Bronco gets a mansion with BYU banners and BYU flags flying all over the place. Why is that?"
God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Whit, that's not Bronco's house. That's mine."

11-19-2007, 12:09 AM	#3
non sequitur Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,964	Hey, some of them are pretty funny. Here's my favorite: Q: What's the difference between a BYU co-ed and a toilet? A: A toilet doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you use it. __________________ ...You've been under attack for days, there's a soldier down, he's wounded, gangrene's setting in, 'Who's used all the penicillin?' 'Oh, Mark Paxson sir, he's got knob rot off of some tart.'" - Gareth Keenan

11-19-2007, 01:47 AM	#8
myboynoah Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Memphis freakin' Tennessee!!!!! Posts: 4,530	Contribution #1: The other day Li’l Ute Fan came home from school proud as a peach. “Today we did our numbers and the other kids only counted to 10, but I counted all the way to 15. Is that because I’m a Ute Fan, mommy?” he asked searchingly. “Why yes, Li’l Ute Fan,” his mom assured him, “It’s because you’re a Ute Fan.” The next day Li’l Ute Fan came home with even better news. “Today we did our letters and the other kids could only make it to ‘M,’ but I made it all the way to ‘U.’ Is that because I’m a Ute Fan, mommy?” he asked eagerly. “Why yes, Li’l Ute Fan,” his mom assured him, “It’s because you’re a Ute Fan.” The next day Li’l Ute Fan came home even more excited than the before. “Today we played basketball and I scored the most points because I’m bigger than the other kids. Is that because I’m a Ute Fan, mommy?” he asked elatedly. “Well no, Li’l Ute Fan,” his mom responded slowly, “It’s because you’re 26 years old.” __________________ Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!! Religion rises inevitably from our apprehension of our own death. To give meaning to meaninglessness is the endless quest of all religion. When death becomes the center of our consciousness, then religion authentically begins. Of all religions that I know, the one that most vehemently and persuasively defies and denies the reality of death is the original Mormonism of the Prophet, Seer and Revelator, Joseph Smith.

11-18-2007, 11:42 PM	#1
mpfunk Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 2,619	The insert your rival schools name here jokes are quite possibly the lowest form of humor known to man. Unfortunately we are about to get them from both sides this whole damn week.

11-18-2007, 11:53 PM	#2
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	Agreed. The one thing that always ruins rivalry week is that it caters to the lowest common denominator on both sides. I love the game itself, but hate the week. Saturday can't get here soon enough. __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.

11-19-2007, 12:45 AM	#5
Detroitdad Resident Jackass Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Roswell, New Mexico Posts: 1,846	Q. How do you break a Ute fans finger? A. Punch him in the nose. Lame, lame, lame.

11-19-2007, 01:51 AM	#9
YOhio AKA SeattleNewt Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 7,055	Q: What's the difference b/w a girl at the U and one at the Y? A: The girl at the Y goes to school looking for a husband and the girl at the U goes to school looking for the father.

11-19-2007, 02:11 AM	#10
Detroitdad Resident Jackass Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Roswell, New Mexico Posts: 1,846	After Kyle Whittingham dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Whit a little two-bedroom house with a faded Utah banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach," God says happily. "Most people don't get their own houses up here." says. Whit looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. BYU flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge BYU banner hangs between the marble columns. "Thanks for the house, God," Whit says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Bronco gets a mansion with BYU banners and BYU flags flying all over the place. Why is that?" God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Whit, that's not Bronco's house. That's mine."