An indictment of single LDS men

[K-dog]

What do we expect? We've empowered the women. Told them they are princesses. Told them they are valuable. Told them they are important. Told them they should be accomplished. They then go out to school and interact with a bunch of youg men told how bad, worthless, unfocused, lazy, violent and evil they are. Then we expect these downtrodden young men to approach these self-centered young women with confidence and ask them out. These guys work up the courage to send a text message (because they aren't worthy to ask in person) and the girl turns them down because she is irritated that they didn't ask in person. If she does go out with him, she finds out how meager his accomplishments are compared to hers. If he is an RM he is two years behind her in school and, although he has done what he is supposed to do, he hasn't done anything spectacular. The date goes badly as the little princess lectures our beleagured anti-hero on how great she is and how much she can do and what her expectations are (based on her Dad who she still has hero worship for). The young man not only refuses to ask her out again but swears off dating for another month, retreats into a fantasy world where he can accomplish things in a short amount of time, and finds porn a more attractive alternative because the girls on the internet aren't insisting that he be some combination of Gordon Hinckley, Paul Bunyan, Bill Gates, and Brad Pitt. Then, instead of realizing that these hands-which-hang-down need to be lifted up we send the Bishops to lecture them on their "responsibility" to ask girls out that they are neglecting and have Apostles call them out from the pulpit in priesthood session. The worst part is, it gets worse as they get older. The girls become more convinced that they are too good for the guys because everytime they talk to someone about their lack of boyfriend that person says guys "are intimidated by her because she is so accomplished and beautiful." Our little princess is increasingly full of herself and disdainful of all men. She eschews all relationships with the opposite sex except for her overly close hero worship of her father (that she has never gotten over), advances her career, expands her ego, and becomes the head of Deseret Book.

Bottom line, if these girls want to date badly enough they will ask guys out. If these girls are so hot, the top tier of guys (the .05% that they think are worthy of them) will ask them out. Until we stop trying to create superwomen at the expense of our young men, this problem will get worse.

[MikeWaters]

I was not a big dater in college.

There were many reasons (some would argue that it was mostly due to my radio face), but one of them was that I was not interested in dating for "fun".

I didn't want to go out with a chick that I wasn't attracted to. Waste of her time. Waste of my time.

I know I was probably in the minority.

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

To have the Bishop haul you in and beat you up about not dating is pretty incredible.

I'm sure non-Mormons would find this perfectly normal. and not "peculiar".

I can see our links to the folks down in Colorado City weren't broken all that long ago. Hopefully over time we will consistently move further and further away from "their" viewpoint of managing the faithful.

[Mormon Red Death]

Will no one stick up for the college aged single LDS Male?

Lets see... you are already paying for college and are working (generally). You are only 24 but everyone expects that you should be dating every weekend. BTW on the date you always pay (refer back to the first sentence).

Is it really so bad if you decide to stay and play halo with your roomates instead of shelling out $50 on date that most likely won't get you even a makeout when she finds out that you aren't premed or prelaw?

If the women are so concerned how about they ask men out.

[K-dog]

Another idea...stop convincing the girls to dress like nuns. Even the most pitiful excuse for a college male will try to get up a very short skirt and if that means asking her out...fair enough.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by K-dog

What do we expect? We've empowered the women. Told them they are princesses. Told them they are valuable. Told them they are important. Told them they should be accomplished. They then go out to school and interact with a bunch of youg men told how bad, worthless, unfocused, lazy, violent and evil they are. Then we expect these downtrodden young men to approach these self-centered young women with confidence and ask them out. These guys work up the courage to send a text message (because they aren't worthy to ask in person) and the girl turns them down because she is irritated that they didn't ask in person. If she does go out with him, she finds out how meager his accomplishments are compared to hers. If he is an RM he is two years behind her in school and, although he has done what he is supposed to do, he hasn't done anything spectacular. The date goes badly as the little princess lectures our beleagured anti-hero on how great she is and how much she can do and what her expectations are (based on her Dad who she still has hero worship for). The young man not only refuses to ask her out again but swears off dating for another month, retreats into a fantasy world where he can accomplish things in a short amount of time, and finds porn a more attractive alternative because the girls on the internet aren't insisting that he be some combination of Gordon Hinckley, Paul Bunyan, Bill Gates, and Brad Pitt. Then, instead of realizing that these hands-which-hang-down need to be lifted up we send the Bishops to lecture them on their "responsibility" to ask girls out that they are neglecting and have Apostles call them out from the pulpit in priesthood session. The worst part is, it gets worse as they get older. The girls become more convinced that they are too good for the guys because everytime they talk to someone about their lack of boyfriend that person says guys "are intimidated by her because she is so accomplished and beautiful." Our little princess is increasingly full of herself and disdainful of all men. She eschews all relationships with the opposite sex except for her overly close hero worship of her father (that she has never gotten over), advances her career, expands her ego, and becomes the head of Deseret Book.

Bottom line, if these girls want to date badly enough they will ask guys out. If these girls are so hot, the top tier of guys (the .05% that they think are worthy of them) will ask them out. Until we stop trying to create superwomen at the expense of our young men, this problem will get worse.

LOL. Good one. Keep it coming.

[K-dog]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I was not a big dater in college.

There were many reasons (some would argue that it was mostly due to my radio face), but one of them was that I was not interested in dating for "fun".

I didn't want to go out with a chick that I wasn't attracted to. Waste of her time. Waste of my time.

I know I was probably in the minority.

Another solution...make the bitches pay for the date. I blew a lot of money in college on other men's wives.

[Archaea]

I usually waited until the gals asked me out. I usually went out once a week.

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by K-dog

What do we expect? We've empowered the women. Told them they are princesses. Told them they are valuable. Told them they are important. Told them they should be accomplished. They then go out to school and interact with a bunch of youg men told how bad, worthless, unfocused, lazy, violent and evil they are. Then we expect these downtrodden young men to approach these self-centered young women with confidence and ask them out. These guys work up the courage to send a text message (because they aren't worthy to ask in person) and the girl turns them down because she is irritated that they didn't ask in person. If she does go out with him, she finds out how meager his accomplishments are compared to hers. If he is an RM he is two years behind her in school and, although he has done what he is supposed to do, he hasn't done anything spectacular. The date goes badly as the little princess lectures our beleagured anti-hero on how great she is and how much she can do and what her expectations are (based on her Dad who she still has hero worship for). The young man not only refuses to ask her out again but swears off dating for another month, retreats into a fantasy world where he can accomplish things in a short amount of time, and finds porn a more attractive alternative because the girls on the internet aren't insisting that he be some combination of Gordon Hinckley, Paul Bunyan, Bill Gates, and Brad Pitt. Then, instead of realizing that these hands-which-hang-down need to be lifted up we send the Bishops to lecture them on their "responsibility" to ask girls out that they are neglecting and have Apostles call them out from the pulpit in priesthood session. The worst part is, it gets worse as they get older. The girls become more convinced that they are too good for the guys because everytime they talk to someone about their lack of boyfriend that person says guys "are intimidated by her because she is so accomplished and beautiful." Our little princess is increasingly full of herself and disdainful of all men. She eschews all relationships with the opposite sex except for her overly close hero worship of her father (that she has never gotten over), advances her career, expands her ego, and becomes the head of Deseret Book.

Bottom line, if these girls want to date badly enough they will ask guys out. If these girls are so hot, the top tier of guys (the .05% that they think are worthy of them) will ask them out. Until we stop trying to create superwomen at the expense of our young men, this problem will get worse.

beat me to it

[Requiem]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

My guess: not as cute as they think they are.

My guess: their judgmental nature is a big turn-off.

My guess: they are picky, but won't admit it.

My guess: anytime a guy doesn't ask them out, it is an affront.

Since we are into stereotyping:

My guess: LDS guys are deathly afraid of rejection - refuse to take risks.

My guess: LDS guys do not know how to date - not taught at the MTC.

My guess: Arch is right - no sex, no gain, no reason for pain.

My guess: LDS guys are preconditioned to believe that there will be bells, whistles and the bright light of personal revelation when they meet their "chosen one". Therefore, why bother with dating?

My guess: Too many LDS single women come across as desperate and pious.

My guess: LDS guys are intimidated by smart, aggressive women. They want to be just like Ward Cleaver - in charge and unchallenged.