Does this seem weird to you?

[Surfah]

I met Gidget in person briefly twice before it turned into a phone/email relationship. After a few weeks I flew out to her home and spent the weekend with her. Which turned into several more weekends and then weeks spent at each other's place until we were married.

Drum and Creekster gave you great advice. You have sometime to get more comfortable with him and going. Go for it.

[smokymountainrain]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

I would like a male perspective on this one from unbiased parties.

I went on a blind date a few months ago with someone my sister set me up with, whom she had never actually met. That's right, she met him online before she met her husband. This individual lives back east, so she never met him in person, but somehow found out he was in town this summer, and immediately pawned him off on me because she knows I'm fond of blind dates.

We went to dinner one night, right before he left for the airport. I think I spent one, maybe two hours with him before he left. Since then he calls, emails, etc... You know, stays in touch. He's always saying that I need to leave California and move back east to marry him, but it's a joke. It's always been a joke. Then suddenly yesterday things took this turn to the serious side, and he said that he really wants me to come to New Jersey. He tried to talk me into Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I declined. So then he's moved along to this "you're losing your job anyway, why don't you come live out here for a month, I know someone with a basement apartment that will let you stay there..." line. Again I declined, on the grounds that I need to start school. So then he tried negotiating for two weeks, and I finally promised that I would consider one. However, I gave him a long list of all the reasons why I would not be a suitable spouse for him, and he listened and said that I have said nothing that has changed his mind. He followed that up with a speech about being a worthy priesthood holder, stable, solid career, generous, loving, etc... and says that I need to plan on heading east.

I have tried to impress upon him the reality that the mere idea of going out there to visit gives me anxiety, much less actually going, and the thought of moving there makes me feel panicky. He says that's fine, it wouldn't panic him, and the fact that we are different is a good thing!?!?

I also tried telling him that I can't promise anything because if BYU goes to a BCS bowl game I will need to attend, and that may put some financial restraints on me that will not allow me to go dinking off on the east coast while I should be finding my little part-time student job out here. He was completely unphased and said that he will come meet me at the bowl game, and accompany me from there back east, and he has connections and can easily find me a job to work while I'm out there.

My roommate thinks I should go, I think one week trapped on the opposite coast with someone I've only met once is most definitely not a good idea, and that I should stay and get ready to start school.

I don't disagree with the logic of those who say you should go for it, but this guy sounds more than a little desperate if you ask me. The fact that he is, in essence, begging somebody who he has met just once to come back east and get married, seems bizarre, if not a little psycho to me. Not to mention, with all your excuses, you've made it painfully clear the feelings aren't mutual yet he still continues to pester.

I'd stay away.

[TripletDaddy]

BDB....you are a classic!

Some women have to wash their hair...others have headaches....you, on the other hand, have to attend the BCS Bowl game.

Kudos to you for that one.

I say go out there and enjoy yourself. If he turns out to be a tool, that doesnt mean you can't explore the city on your own. I assume that by New jersey, he lives within shouting distance of NYC? If not, then I would rethink because there is nothing of real interest to do in New Jersey.

[cougjunkie]

Maybe I missed it but I dont see any mention of you liking him during your brief meetings or phone conversations. If you dont like him then dont go. If you do like him, I would think about it.

[Black Diamond Bay]

Originally Posted by Sleeping in EQ

How did things go when you met this guy for 1-2 hours? What was he like?

Well this is a good question I guess. I had really good time with him actually. We went to sushi, and I love sushi, so that was nice. He was very funny, and funny goes a long way with me. I could tell he liked me but he didn't get all nervous and fidgety, which is good, because I don't have a lot of patience with that. Let's see...he was solid entertainment for the 90-120 minutes that I was with him, and extremely apologetic that he couldn't have stayed longer. Oh, and he did seem to have a nice take charge way about him, which I have learned to appreciate very much, since it turns out lots of men don't. There's nothing worse than being 20 minutes into a date and realizing that it's time for me to step up and take charge because the guy I'm with isn't going to.

[Sleeping in EQ]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Well this is a good question I guess. I had really good time with him actually. We went to sushi, and I love sushi, so that was nice. He was very funny, and funny goes a long way with me. I could tell he liked me but he didn't get all nervous and fidgety, which is good, because I don't have a lot of patience with that. Let's see...he was solid entertainment for the 90-120 minutes that I was with him, and extremely apologetic that he couldn't have stayed longer. Oh, and he did seem to have a nice take charge way about him, which I have learned to appreciate very much, since it turns out lots of men don't. There's nothing worse than being 20 minutes into a date and realizing that it's time for me to step up and take charge because the guy I'm with isn't going to.

Have you considered a counter offer of him coming out to see you? You might be more comfortable that way.

This guy seems to be using the "full court press," which usually means he really likes you, but is also the favorite strategy of jerks, control freaks, you know--that type of guy. Your gut instinct is important here.

[smokymountainrain]

Originally Posted by Black Diamond Bay

Well this is a good question I guess. I had really good time with him actually. We went to sushi, and I love sushi, so that was nice. He was very funny, and funny goes a long way with me. I could tell he liked me but he didn't get all nervous and fidgety, which is good, because I don't have a lot of patience with that. Let's see...he was solid entertainment for the 90-120 minutes that I was with him, and extremely apologetic that he couldn't have stayed longer. Oh, and he did seem to have a nice take charge way about him, which I have learned to appreciate very much, since it turns out lots of men don't. There's nothing worse than being 20 minutes into a date and realizing that it's time for me to step up and take charge because the guy I'm with isn't going to.

In that case, I will backtrack on my original comments. Go see him.

SIEQ's suggestion is a good one as well - ask if he'll come out to visit you for a week or so if you are set against going out there.

[Runner Coug]

If my daughter ever asked my opinion on this sort of thing, there's no way in hell I would let her go. And if she went anyway, I'd most likely follow her there and tail her for a week.

He seems a bit overanxious to get you on his home turf, and it strikes me as odd.

[RC Vikings]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

If not, then I would rethink because there is nothing of real interest to do in New Jersey.

They could run down to Asbury Park and visit the Stone Pony. They could go to Pine Valley and get kicked off the course. They could get lost in Elizabeth and learn how nice where they live is. They could go to Atlantic City expecting a smaller Vegas and find out what a dump it is.

[Surfah]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

They could go to Atlantic City expecting a smaller Vegas and find out what a dump it is.

Ain't that the truth. I went to Atlantic City expecting Vegas with a boardwalk. I didn't roll down the windows, kept the doors locked, and didn't stop at red lights in that city. Talk about ghetto.