Gilbert Arenas is funny

[cougjunkie]

When asked what the most pain he ever felt was he said:

When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend’s razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything — just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers.”

[TheSizzle36]

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

When asked what the most pain he ever felt was he said:

When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend’s razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything — just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers.”

#1 is that really the most pain he's ever felt?

#2 if it is, why would you share that?

[Mormon Red Death]

Originally Posted by TheSizzle36

#1 is that really the most pain he's ever felt?

#2 if it is, why would you share that?

Because Gilbert Arenas is crazy

From Wikipedia

"n the Washington, D.C. area, "Gilbertology" is the name given to Arenas's unorthodox behavior on and off the court, first coined by Wizards head coach Eddie Jordan. After being criticized for shooting too much as a point guard, Arenas would play games nearly without shooting at all, and then score at will the next game. Arenas admits that he thrives under criticism, using jersey number "0" because he was told in high school that he would get 0 minutes at Arizona.

While with the Warriors, he once took a shower at half time in full uniform.[11] Before every game he would take a teammate's jersey and hide it in the locker room to make them look for it. Warriors teammate Adonal Foyle called him a "lunatic," and Troy Murphy said he used to lick or put baby powder on donuts he was forced to deliver to the team as a prank.[12]

Arenas has been said to play online poker during the halftime of games[13], instead of resting or preparing for the second half. He disputes the accuracy of these stories, saying he was misquoted. Arenas says he does not play for money nor does he play online; instead, he plays on a DVD game of poker. On road trips, he will often eschew team outings on the town in favor of sitting in his room, ordering products from infomercials, such as a colon cleanser.[14] In the same interview he said he preferred sleeping on the couch than on his bed, and that he once ate 12 cheeseburgers while on a road trip with the Wizards in Canada.

At the end of each game, regardless of whether it is a home loss or a road win, Arenas takes off his jersey and tosses it to the crowd. He originally tossed his shoes into the crowd, explaining that jerseys were too expensive for him to pay for every game. After he signed a lucrative contract with Washington, he began to throw his jerseys out. Arenas agreed to become a team captain for the 2005-06 season after declining the previous year because he said that many times he didn't even believe the things he was saying to his teammates. He has recently been given the nickname "The Black President", and calls himself the "East Coast Assassin", in reference to his quest to prove his abilities to those who did not vote for him to be a 2006 Eastern All Star reserve. Arenas has also begun to refer to himself as "Agent Zero", a reference to his jersey number originally coined by sports blog The Wizznutzz.

He also described his ideal shoe commercial like this:
“ You know how I always throw my jersey into the stands after a game? In Washington, they just go crazy for it. So in this commercial, that's what I'm gonna do with my shoes. I've just hit a game winner, and I throw these shoes. Everyone starts to react, and you see everything in slow motion. Everyone's pushing, shoving, doing whatever it takes to try to get to these shoes. People from the 400 level, they're jumping off the ledge, they're missing the pile, hitting nothing but chairs, and you can just see in people's faces like, Ooooh, that hurt. While all this stuff's going on, one of the shoes pops out of the crowd, and a little girl gets it and she takes off. A couple of people see she has it, and they start chasing her, and she's looking back running—and then she gets clotheslined by a kid in a wheelchair. So he picks the shoe up and says—he's gonna have the only line in there—"They said I couldn't get it. Heh. Impossible is nothing." And then he rolls off.[15] ”

During the 2003-04 season, Arenas tried to vote himself into the All-Star game, trading a pair of shoes and a jersey for a box of ballots.[4]

In October 2006, an ESPN.com story stated that Arenas was converting his Washington, D.C. home to simulate high-altitude conditions, stating that he hoped the arrangement would help him have more energy, especially late in games.[16]

When shooting free throws, Arenas is known to spin the ball around his waist and dribble the ball three times before shooting to help him be more relaxed at the foul line. He began this after seeing kids copying Richard Hamilton's free throw technique. In his words "kids always want to see something then copy it. Kids started to copy Richard Hamilton when he made it to the playoffs for the first time. So I said, I might as well make my own up."[17]

At the Wizards' first home game of the 2006-07 season (November 4, 2006), during the introductions, Arenas came out wearing a blue robe with a hood, looking like a boxer. He was supposed to resemble a "wizard."[18]

Arenas does not wear size 13 sneakers on the court even though his feet are size 14½, as popularly believed. This was a misquote from an interview. He actually wears shoes a half size larger.[19]

During the 2006 NBA season, he began to shout the word hibachi as he took field goal attempts in games, explaining, "You know, a hibachi grill gets real hot. That's what my shot's like, so I've been calling it that: 'Welcome to the hibachi'." He has also stated that while he is scoring on opponents, he is "cooking chicken and shrimp" in reference to his "Hibachi grill," and that if his opponent wanted to double team him, he would "cook fillet mignon" as well.[20]

On December 23, 2006, Arenas told The Washington Post he had begun replacing "hibachi" with the phrase "quality shot," a direct reference to Kobe Bryant who had felt Arenas' shot selection was questionable and that he seemingly lacked a conscience. "Out of that whole game I probably took two bad shots," Arenas would respond. "And for me not to have a conscience? You're right. When you're an assassin, you don't have a conscience." Nonetheless, Kobe stated that Gilbert Arenas is one of the most difficult players to guard in the NBA.[21]

On January 3, 2007, Arenas hit a very long game-winning three-point shot to beat the Milwaukee Bucks. In a post-game interview, Arenas stated that he did not shout "hibachi" or "quality shot." Rather, he told reporters that "My swag was phenomenal."

On January 15, 2007, Arenas hit yet another game-winning three-point shot to defeat the Utah Jazz. When observing both video clips of the game winning shots, one can see that Arenas throws his hands up signaling a basket before the ball actually falls through the net. Upon leaving the court to chants of "M-V-P!" Arenas said, "MVP? That trophy is given out at the end of the year. This is (37) games into the season so you can't do too much about it."[22]

According to Gilbert Arenas's blog, he predicted that he would hit the game winner against the Utah Jazz on January 15, 2007.[23]

On January 23, 2007, when asked about Gilbert's remarks about predicting his next game against Portland, Phoenix coach Mike D'Antoni jokingly said, "I can't wait to see what he does against Duke. He's gonna kill Duke."[24] Gilbert then responded by saying that given their soft rims, he'd probably score 84 or 85 points at Duke, and that he'd be willing to give up playing an entire NBA season to play against them. He added, "I wouldn't pass the ball. I wouldn't even think about passing it. It would be like NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person." [25]. While at Arizona, Arenas played against Duke in the 2001 NCAA National Championship game. He scored 10 points on 4-17 shooting.

After a team practice, Arenas made a $20,000 bet with fellow Washington Wizard DeShawn Stevenson. Arenas claimed he could make more shots from the college basketball three point distance (approximately 19.75 feet) with one hand than Stevenson could make professional level three-pointers (approximately 23.75 feet) using two hands. Out of 100 attempts, Arenas completed 73 shots. While Stevenson was taking his shots, Arenas attempted to distract him during nearly every shot attempt, including trying to do a street basketball trick involving falling on the floor, throwing another basketball in the air in front of Stevenson's path, throwing an invisible football, and mimicking shooting motions off to Stevenson's side, and break-dancing on the floor, among other acts. Stevenson needed to make his final ten shots just to tie, but only made his first five shots before missing his sixth (meaning Stevenson completed 68 of 96 attempts), leading to Arenas winning the bet and extravagantly celebrating. Arenas added "I hope this don't mess you up for tomorrow" as a parting shot while Stevenson left the court.[26]

On February 18, 2007 during the All-Star game, Gilbert joined a line of dunking Elvis impersonators and completed a between-the legs dunk. According to his NBA.com blog, Shaquille O'Neal promised him $100,000 to his Zer0 2 Her0 charity if he did it.[27]

Arenas supports Barack Obama for President in 2008, claiming: "Of course we’ll win the election. As long as he has me, we’re winning. We’ll be co-presidents. He can handle all the big stuff like the war in Iraq and all that, and I’ll keep everybody distracted off what he’s doing. I’ll be the entertainer. I’ll do the press conferences. I’ll play the Bush part. I’ll be the golfer, I’ll go golf for 14 hours. I’ll party for half a week. I’ll do that, I’ll have fun with that. And then Barack can handle all that important stuff."

According to his blog, Arenas has said that although he was going to try and go an entire season without making one of his famous predictions, he promised the fans of the new and improved Boston Celtics, that they would lose their season opener against the Wizards[28] Boston went on to win that game.[29]"

[NorCal Cat]

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

When asked what the most pain he ever felt was he said:

When I was new in the NBA the team veterans convinced me to shave, you know, down there, because they said the hair stinks. I used my girlfriend’s razor, which was rusty and gave me keloids. The doctor prescribed medicine to dab on, but I just poured it all over. Three days later I woke up screaming. The skin was burnt off my scrotum, down to my crack, everything — just raw flesh. I still had to run and play, so I used a numbing spray for a month until it healed. Now I use clippers.”

Funny? Sounds like a freaking idiot to me...which he is.

[mpfunk]

Originally Posted by NorCal Cat

Funny? Sounds like a freaking idiot to me...which he is.

Sounds like someone is bitter that he wanted out of Golden State. Gilbert Arenas if healthy is one of the 5 best players in the league, and a lot better than anyone on the Warriors.