Probably a question for Mike, but Ohio Blue should chime in - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Archaea · 04-28-2006, 10:51 PM

We have a son, who probably has some minor OCD.

He washes his hands obsessively, has to have his things in place, doesn't like to be dirty, although he doesn't always appear to be the neatest kid.

I figure he'll grow out of that stuff. But, today, he received the results of standardized testing and he was pissed off, because he didn't get 100%. His principal informed us he received the highest results of all six graders, but he's still pissed off.

At what stage do we worry? I mean I want the kid to do well and to push himself. When should we worry that he's taking it too far.

He is not a model kid, despite good performance. He is Honor Society, 4.2 grade point, life scout at age 12 working on eagle, but he has a temper when things aren't perfect. The only reason I worry is my reading that says that's not normal prepubescent behavior. Should I blow it off? Or just keep monitoring.

OhioBlue · 04-28-2006, 11:14 PM

He's your son, I'm hardly one to tell you when you 'should' worry. If it were me, I'd monitor the perfectionism more than the OCD-ish stuff. And I'm saying that not as a shrink but as a regular dude with somewhat of an opinion who understands that being a parent is challenging sometimes.

danimal · 04-29-2006, 12:33 AM

It sounds like his perfectionism is disrupting his quality of life, and possibly his OCD symptoms too. OCD can be tricky in that often there are unseen components, such as mental rituals (counting, "magic" words, etc.) that they do to manage the anxiety and intrusive thoughts they can't get rid of. Since he has perfectionistic qualilties, these are likely things he wouldn't be telling you that he does or are bothering him.

I'd check in with him to check for any unseen symptoms and make sure there isn't more going on in his head than you can naturally observe. Therapy is pretty effective for some of this stuff if you're so inclined.

He sounds like a great kid. Good luck.

MikeWaters · 04-29-2006, 02:39 AM

I don't really have much to add.

If the OCD sx are getting in the way, then there is the option of meds or Cognitive Behav. Therapy directed towards addressing it.

Therapy would be an option too, if he would take to it.

Archaea · 04-29-2006, 01:47 PM

Don't take this wrong Mike, as I know some psychiatrists are biological reductionist, and you have informed me that's not your inclination, but I am reluctant to seek medication, to have children medicated. To me, it appears to be too much of a quick fix. If in pain, we don't take pain pills except as a last resort.

The reason for that, I have relatives who had lives destroyed by substance addictions.

Thus, I usually stay away from medication unless absolutely necessary.

I do appreciate the insights. We have great children, even with their faults. And it may be trendy to say it, but in reality it's true because I'm aware of what my faults were at their ages, all of my children are better people than I was at their stages of life. So in this, I am blessed.

04-28-2006, 10:51 PM	#1
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Probably a question for Mike, but Ohio Blue should chime in We have a son, who probably has some minor OCD. He washes his hands obsessively, has to have his things in place, doesn't like to be dirty, although he doesn't always appear to be the neatest kid. I figure he'll grow out of that stuff. But, today, he received the results of standardized testing and he was pissed off, because he didn't get 100%. His principal informed us he received the highest results of all six graders, but he's still pissed off. At what stage do we worry? I mean I want the kid to do well and to push himself. When should we worry that he's taking it too far. He is not a model kid, despite good performance. He is Honor Society, 4.2 grade point, life scout at age 12 working on eagle, but he has a temper when things aren't perfect. The only reason I worry is my reading that says that's not normal prepubescent behavior. Should I blow it off? Or just keep monitoring. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

04-29-2006, 12:33 AM	#3
danimal Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your mom's house Posts: 588	It sounds like his perfectionism is disrupting his quality of life, and possibly his OCD symptoms too. OCD can be tricky in that often there are unseen components, such as mental rituals (counting, "magic" words, etc.) that they do to manage the anxiety and intrusive thoughts they can't get rid of. Since he has perfectionistic qualilties, these are likely things he wouldn't be telling you that he does or are bothering him. I'd check in with him to check for any unseen symptoms and make sure there isn't more going on in his head than you can naturally observe. Therapy is pretty effective for some of this stuff if you're so inclined. He sounds like a great kid. Good luck. __________________ Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters. Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people? Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but...but it might work for us.

04-29-2006, 01:47 PM	#5
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Don't take this wrong Mike, as I know some psychiatrists are biological reductionist, and you have informed me that's not your inclination, but I am reluctant to seek medication, to have children medicated. To me, it appears to be too much of a quick fix. If in pain, we don't take pain pills except as a last resort. The reason for that, I have relatives who had lives destroyed by substance addictions. Thus, I usually stay away from medication unless absolutely necessary. I do appreciate the insights. We have great children, even with their faults. And it may be trendy to say it, but in reality it's true because I'm aware of what my faults were at their ages, all of my children are better people than I was at their stages of life. So in this, I am blessed. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

04-28-2006, 11:14 PM	#2
OhioBlue Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Ames, IA Posts: 469	He's your son, I'm hardly one to tell you when you 'should' worry. If it were me, I'd monitor the perfectionism more than the OCD-ish stuff. And I'm saying that not as a shrink but as a regular dude with somewhat of an opinion who understands that being a parent is challenging sometimes.

04-29-2006, 02:39 AM	#4
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	I don't really have much to add. If the OCD sx are getting in the way, then there is the option of meds or Cognitive Behav. Therapy directed towards addressing it. Therapy would be an option too, if he would take to it.