At the library

[BarbaraGordon]

It should come as no surprise that I love libraries. Well, the kids have been out of school all week due to the ice storm, and getting boreder by the day, so today we headed to the public library in a neighboring suburb.

Now, I should note that I really really didn't want to take the younger one along. For one thing, it never seems to go well at the library, as the kids all stare and the Gap moms recoil in disgust if their kids get too close to him. Plus, with all the snow and ice on the ground, I wasn't sure I could get the wheelchair through the parking lot. Plus Charlie eats books.

But Jeff (big brother) really wanted Charlie to come along, so I packed him up and hoped for the best.

Well, it turned out to be a very multicultural affair, which in Oklahoma is a fairly rare sort of occurrence. There were a pair of Korean kids, a black girl, a Hispanic family, and Jeff and Charlie.

Anyway, the kids set out to build a train track together with those wooden Thomas the Train pieces. The Korean girl and the black girl were trying very hard to flirt with Jeff, both competing for his attention. Jeff, of course, being 9, was totally freaked out and had no clue what to do. He was trying to pretend like he wasn't enjoying it.

These kids were too busy engaging in third-grade social interaction while ostensibly building a train track to pay much attention to Charlie and his wheelchair, which frankly was a relief to me.

But the Korean mom wanted very much to discuss Charlie. Except she's not very proficient in English. So she can barely converse about day-to-day topics, let alone about chromosomal abnormalities and handicapped kids. But she kept pointing to Charlie and saying "my brother the same."

Also, she kept motioning that she really thought Charlie should be out of his wheelchair. Now, I didn't want to do this, because he can be quite the menace and I knew he would take all the toys and annoy the other kids, who were playing happily.

But she seemed insistent, and since she was kindhearted enough to actually show some interest in Charlie, I relented and let him out so he could play. He started alternating between scooting around trying to chase the other kids (frankly, I think he was trying to flirt, too), and laughing hysterically until he would run out of breath and fall over. He was having a great time.

Well, I turned around to go get some of Charlie's toys out of the backpack, and when I turned back to face Charlie, I suddenly realized why the woman had been so insistent about letting him out of the wheelchair...

...This woman -- total stranger -- is now sitting on the floor cross-legged, and has scooped Charlie up into her lap. She can barely maintain control over him (he's seven and huge and flailing around and giggling maniacally), but she's got him curled up in her arms, she's got her eyes closed, she's rocking him back and forth, she's speaking softly in Korean, and she's clearly praying over him.

I have rarely seen anyone pray so fervently.

Normally I would kind of freak out at a total stranger picking up my kid. But on the other hand I thought it was very brave of her. Most people won't go anywhere near Charlie.

After she finished praying she checked to make sure we attend church (she invited us to First Korean Baptist), and then she said she and the kids had to go, and she said, "God bwess you all."

I thought it was very sweet. I had been exhausted from the sickness and from the kids being out of school and everything, and her kindness to Charlie was a very nice (and unexpected) pick-me-up.

[MikeWaters]

Nice.

[FarrahWaters]

That was very sweet. I like it when people defy expectations (in a good way).

Also, I'm impressed you have such a children/noise-friendly library. My kids utter a peep in our library, and we have at least two disapproving librarians come over and ask us to leave. Evidently we disturb all the patrons who are looking up how to make fake id's on the internet (yes, I occasionally look over their shoulder as I pass by).

[marsupial]

Farrah, what library do you go to? The Dallas libraries seemed way more laid back than Memphis. In fact, I was annoyed at first at how wild the kids were and no one seemed to care. Then I just went with it and let my kids do the same

Babs, that was a sweet story. Thanks for sharing.

[il Padrino Ute]

That's a great story, Barbara. Thanks for sharing.

[MikeWaters]

I was afraid that when the lady had picked him up, you were going to say she was attempting something nutty like an exorcism.

I think Korea is the most Christian of all the Far East. For what that is worth. I've seen a lot of Korean Christian churches over the years.

[Mindfulcoug]

A very touching story Barbara.

Since i am a fan of your posts ,do you think there is any possibility you could share your adventure of "First Korean Baptist Church" visiting tour any time soon?

[BarbaraGordon]

Originally Posted by FarrahWaters

That was very sweet. I like it when people defy expectations (in a good way).

Also, I'm impressed you have such a children/noise-friendly library. My kids utter a peep in our library, and we have at least two disapproving librarians come over and ask us to leave.

That's too bad. I've experienced that kind of thing only a couple of times, and never at our home library.

The outlying OKC area is served by a system of libraries called the Pioneer Library System. It is very (VERY) family friendly; half of each library is dedicated to kids/teens; the kids area is always fully or partially walled off from the adult area, so that the kids can squeal without distracting the reference users and hurl Gordon the Express Engine without hitting the internet surfers in the back of the head.

Now, the OKC system is an entirely different matter. The first time I took the boys to one of those I was dumbfounded. I had no idea public libraries even existed without kids sections. (Well, techically there was a kids section. It consisted of about four dozen ratty books from the sixties, and a treacherous-looking kids-sized card table with a single wooden puzzle with half the pieces missing.) The librarians scowled at us as soon as we darkened the doorstep of the establishment. But I took one look at the children's section, scowled back at them (I have quite the librarian scowl myself, you know), and then left.

Now, the Downtown OKC library is brand new, and they did manage to include a nice children's area in that one. This is right in the heart of the downtown business district so they don't ever see any kids. That library was the site of a brief two-hour nightmare of mine, when I offered to babysit a friend's three kids while she went to her OBGYN appointment. The doctor's office was close to the library, so I thought I'd take the kids over there. Ohmygosh it was horrible. The youngest, fourteen months old, had never (except for grandma) been away from mom before. He screamed the whole time. I mean SCREAMED. And this is in A LIBRARY. But it was winter and there was really no where else for me to go. I can't really take the kids outside, and I certainly can't take them into the neighboring bank or perhaps the Phillips Petroleum building. At some point the librarian started coming over and asking, "Can I help you?" Except not in that "I'd like to offer you help" tone, but in that "I'd really like you to leave now" tone.

Anyway, that's a tangent.

It's very foolish of your library to have such a family-unfriendly attitude. Public libraries maintain their funding by their use statistics; and it's well established that the best way to keep usage statistics really high, is to offer great kids services with lots and lots of new kids books and videos to check out, and lots of kid-friendly stuff to keep the kids and moms happy when they come to visit, and very welcoming, smiling, library staff. Sounds like your library is not very smart. Unless they just don't like funding.

[FarrahWaters]

Originally Posted by marsupial

Farrah, what library do you go to? The Dallas libraries seemed way more laid back than Memphis. In fact, I was annoyed at first at how wild the kids were and no one seemed to care. Then I just went with it and let my kids do the same

I remember you commenting on that while we were at the branch closest to my house. I remember being frankly surprised they weren't reprimanding us, maybe they are more lenient after storytime. But yes, I was asked to leave that branch last week (or rather, asked to take A outside), my daughter was giggling and talking quite loudly.

I've also been asked to leave Lakewood. Skillman/SW is pretty nice (I did get a warning for not seeing A rearrange some of the books on the lower bookshelf, sorry Babs) The downtown branch is the most kid-friendly, with a whole floor for the children's section.

So, yes it is a shame. I've resorted to reserving everything online so I can go straight to the front desk, check out my things, then leave as soon as possible.

Anyway, sorry for the thread jack to your story, Babs.

[MikeWaters]

It's been a long, long time since I have been asked to leave a library.

I did lose my cell phone in the downtown Dallas library. I later had a train station "meet" to get my cellphone back from a (presumed) homeless guy.

I prefer to avoid the downtown library especially.