(2) Activity of your spouse

[FMCoug]

Originally Posted by creekster

I assume this is supposed to be a joke? If so, ha ha. If not, you're missing the point badly.

I'm starting to think SU's sole reason for being here is to find new stuff about the church to twist out of context and bash.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by creekster

I assume this is supposed to be a joke? If so, ha ha. If not, you're missing the point badly.

It's a joke. Thanks for the ha ha.

[Mindfulcoug]

Originally Posted by jay santos

So then why the self-righteousness about islam marriage being more permanent?

would you be more specific about that ?

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by FMCoug

I am certain it has nothing to do with gender.

Except wives who do not rely on husbands' income are a rarity in LDS culture.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by FMCoug

I'm starting to think SU's sole reason for being here is to find new stuff about the church to twist out of context and bash.

I confess to twisting on the community property point, to make a joke. Normally I don't twist. Just state things as they are.

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by mindfulcoug

would you be more specific about that ?

Your initial response to the scenario was...

Originally Posted by mindfulcoug

havenot you taken a vow to stand beside her in worst??

Then you followed that up with

Originally Posted by mindfulcoug

really? i always have thought this is the best part of your wedding!
since in islam we dont make such a promise officially.

Which I took as a self-righteous dig towards American marriage.

Did I take that wrong?

But it seems odd for you to say that, given that a) it seems impossible in the male dominant culture for a woman to be able to pull that off and b) your admission that a Muslim would divorce his wife in that case.

[Chapel-Hill-Coug]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

No validation needed. Just showing the other side. Mormons think it would be so awful to have an inactive spouse. I think it would be terrible to be in the shoes of the unbelieving spouse in my hypothetical.

I think and hope that this is changing, though (and I think it shouldn't be a problem IN EITHER DIRECTION). While I know there are still several who would divorce an unbelieving spouse (I've talked through the logic with some family members who fall into this camp), I think it is much better than it used to be. A few years ago my wife came through the other side of a tough ordeal telling me she would never come back to church again, hadn't believed for years, and only now had the courage to tell me so. At the time I was fully active (I'm not now, which has nothing to do with her change of heart), but was surprised at my reaction. I was fully supportive and only asked her that she please keep her name on the records (I don't know why I cared about that but I did), and she agreed. At that time I realized that there is a disconnect between the explicit teachings of the church on the matter and the implicit connections members make between church doctrinal teachings and the impulse to divorce an unbelieving spouse. While I have seen enough of this kind of thing (eg people questioning why I would stay with my wife) to know that for many in the church family really doesn't come first, I still think as the church continues it's mainstream makeover (in terms of application of doctrine), this issue is and will become less a problem in the future. I for one would like to see mormonism become more of a 'big tent'.

I would like to point out though, that in your scenario, I think it would be unfair of the believer to pay tithing without coming to an agreement about it with the unbelieving spouse. But I don't see why the difference in belief per se should pose an insurmountable problem *in either direction*. (When my wife left the church, she also supported my activity in it, after all, and I'm glad she did).

[Mindfulcoug]

Originally Posted by jay santos

Your initial response to the scenario was...



Then you followed that up with



Which I took as a self-righteous dig towards American marriage.

Did I take that wrong?

But it seems odd for you to say that, given that a) it seems impossible in the male dominant culture for a woman to be able to pull that off and b) your admission that a Muslim would divorce his wife in that case.

well..i was just wondering if an american couple has taken vows to stand beside eachother in better and worse, why they just couldnot handle thier spouse going to church three or four hours on sunday even if its the worse thing in thier married life.

and excuse me what do you mean by a male dominant culture? if men are in charge to run a family and provide a better life for them it is supposed to be male dominated culture???

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by mindfulcoug

well..i was just wondering if an american couple has taken vows to stand beside eachother in better and worse, why they just couldnot handle thier spouse going to church three or four hours on sunday even if its the worse thing in thier married life.

I thought I detected some self-righteousness in your comment and the islam vs american marriage comparison. And I appointed myself as the Muslim self-righteousness police today. No worries.

Originally Posted by mindfulcoug

and excuse me what do you mean by a male dominant culture? if men are in charge to run a family and provide a better life for them it is supposed to be male dominated culture???

Yes

[Mindfulcoug]

Originally Posted by jay santos

I thought I detected some self-righteousness in your comment and the islam vs american marriage comparison. And I appointed myself as the Muslim self-righteousness police today. No worries.





Yes

ok, so let be clear about that ...A society that makes women work to death while at the same time they would have to deal with home and kids business would be honored as women dominant culture??