cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board  

Go Back   cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board > non-Sports > Fitness and Wellness

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-27-2008, 05:33 PM   #11
marsupial
Senior Member
 
marsupial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I... Isn't it so fun to spell?
Posts: 1,701
marsupial is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeff Lebowski View Post
Hopefully they weren't locked.
Not only were they open, they were stocked with toilet paper too.
marsupial is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2008, 05:36 PM   #12
Jeff Lebowski
Charon
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In the heart of darkness (Provo)
Posts: 9,564
Jeff Lebowski is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by marsupial View Post
Not only were they open, they were stocked with toilet paper too.
You must have been living right. They are often locked.
__________________
"... the arc of the universe is long but it bends toward justice." Martin Luther King, Jr.
Jeff Lebowski is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2008, 06:06 PM   #13
Sea Chicken
Junior Member
 
Sea Chicken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 74
Sea Chicken is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by marsupial View Post
One early morning Saturday run, the day after I OD on some fresh cherries, I found myself in a desperate predicament. I was running up by the Provo temple through some neighborhoods when it hit. I was right by Timpview High School and I seriously thought I was going to have to leave my mark on someone's lawn when suddenly I noticed the bathrooms by the baseball field. It was like God had put them there just for me at that moment.
I was running in Glenwood Canyon, CO last year and the urge hit me. I made it to a park/rest area and discovered that the toilets were all broken. Just dry piles of poo inside what used to be white porcelain toilets. I had no choice but to just add to the pile. They did have paper though. Which is nice.
Sea Chicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 03:28 PM   #14
bluegoose
Senior Member
 
bluegoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,919
bluegoose is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by marsupial View Post
One early morning Saturday run, the day after I OD on some fresh cherries, I found myself in a desperate predicament. I was running up by the Provo temple through some neighborhoods when it hit. I was right by Timpview High School and I seriously thought I was going to have to leave my mark on someone's lawn when suddenly I noticed the bathrooms by the baseball field. It was like God had put them there just for me at that moment.

Holy Crap! That was a great story, Marsupial. It was undoubtedly a moving experience for you.


I had an experience this morning I would like to share with you all. While I was laboring on my early morning jaunt, I found myself at the apex of my run, 2.2 miles from home exploring a new neighborhood where I had previously never gone before. My mind was taken back to Fuegote's original post and I realized that now would be a terrible time to have "the urge". The lawns were too nicely manicured to defile and the house was too far away to hobble home and avoid a “ThatSportsFan” fate.


While I was in the deepest of despairs, thinking about what could potentially happen, suddenly I came upon a new home construction site. Considering the depressed state of the economy in our area, this alone was a sign from above. But there, next to the sidewalk, basking in the soft glow of the streetlight, like a lighthouse to the lost sailor, was a blue name-brand Port-A-Potty, in exceptional condition, I might add.


And while I did not have to make use of this heaven-sent place of public convenience, it was truly a testament to me that God loves the runners (and the cyclists – I've had equally “moving” experiences on a bike that I may share at a later time).


In the name of Prefontaine, Ed Eyestone, Doug Padilla and Fuegote, Amen.
bluegoose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 03:48 PM   #15
Archaea
Assistant to the Regional Manager
 
Archaea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The Orgasmatron
Posts: 24,338
Archaea is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by marsupial View Post
One early morning Saturday run, the day after I OD on some fresh cherries, I found myself in a desperate predicament. I was running up by the Provo temple through some neighborhoods when it hit. I was right by Timpview High School and I seriously thought I was going to have to leave my mark on someone's lawn when suddenly I noticed the bathrooms by the baseball field. It was like God had put them there just for me at that moment.
If you run, just don't run tooo early.

One morning, early around 4:30 am, nature called and I ran to the trusty toilet I knew, hoping to find relief. To my great dismay, the toilets were locked. What could I do? It was if God were punishing me for all my sins.

Somehow, calling upon reserves previously unknown to me, until I pinched and hobbled myself ignominiously down the street only to arrive and wait for the portly sleepy gal at the Taco Time to unlock those heavenly doors to the porcelain thrown. That my gal is the definition of purgatory, a closed toilet when nature calls.
__________________
Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

Last edited by Archaea; 03-28-2008 at 03:54 PM.
Archaea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 04:58 PM   #16
Sea Chicken
Junior Member
 
Sea Chicken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 74
Sea Chicken is on a distinguished road
Default

I did a ten miler this morning. The rumbling started with about a mile and a half to go. I was in the woods, but with sleet and freezing rain, it was way too cold to drop trow, so I just kept running. I made it to the hotel and made a Fuegotian dash through the front lobby, down the hall and into the arms of my white porcelain friend. And once again, life was good.
Sea Chicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 05:09 PM   #17
SteelBlue
Senior Member
 
SteelBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Norcal
Posts: 5,821
SteelBlue is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Fuegote, this crapping crap has never crossed my mind until your post. I have a 10 mile race coming in mid April, and if I have any problems with the urge to drop a deuce I am blaming you.
SteelBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 05:44 PM   #18
Runner Coug
Senior Member
 
Runner Coug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 945
Runner Coug is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I give myself a pre-run enema every morning. Doesn't everyone?
Runner Coug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2008, 01:47 PM   #19
fuegote
Senior Member
 
fuegote's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 724
fuegote
Default

I haven't laughed this hard at an online thread in a looooooooooong time. Nicely done everyone.
__________________
http://www.cavaliersbrigade.com home of the greatest fans in MLS.
fuegote is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-02-2008, 01:19 PM   #20
Zulu451
house-elf 3rd class
 
Zulu451's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 386
Zulu451 is on a distinguished road
Default

The area here in SAT is still being developed and thankfully there are lots of porta potties spread throughout the neighborhoods.

This entire thread proves that the most maligned, and neglected, system of the body is the colon. I have a great mentor who always tells us, "Doctor, when the rectum isn't happy, the whole body isn't happy!"

As said above, getting on a good bowel regimen is vital. Running stimulates the colon to move crap down the chute.
__________________
<---- Mikewaters drives the lane...
Zulu451 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.