How much education does a SAHM need? - Page 6 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Tex · 05-14-2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

A-A, I'd tread carefully here. Take a dozen thirty-year-old LDS women and ask them how they feel about the freedom (or lack thereof) they were afforded. Ask the ones who dropped out of college to have babies. Ask the ones who got graduate degrees that they never used. Ask the ones like BBB who chose career over family and have to justify that decision every single day.

You're talking about an institution whose law school sent me official material reassuring me that it's okay to get a law degree and then stay home in the end. (This is true, of course, but you'd think that a law school would also want to point out that it's okay to get a law degree and then, you know, practice law!!) I am an outsider, but it is my impression that the cultural forces shaping the LDS young woman's understanding of herself and her role in society are real and powerful. What is perhaps most dangerous is that those forces are rarely so explicit as they were in the leaflet I was mailed.

I think you're overstating the case by quite a bit. I know plenty of women, including several in my immediate family, who are graduates of BYU and who are either partially or fully in professional life. It's been a while since I've chatted with them about what societal or religious pressures they felt, but I'll ask the next time I get a chance.

The LDS culture values motherhood above almost all else. It's considered one of the highest roles to which a woman can aspire. The demands of motherhood and career are very difficult to balance, as any working mother can attest. I think whatever cautions might be extended to women are an outgrowth of that value system, and not reflective of some troglodytic desire to keep women ignorant, barefoot, and pregnant.

These conversations always seem to presuppose that a mother's education is only valuable (or vastly more valuable) in the workplace, and that staying home is some lesser choice that wastes it. I think that's no less destructive a message than the one you think is being sent.

MikeWaters · 05-14-2009, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

You're talking about an institution whose law school sent me official material reassuring me that it's okay to get a law degree and then stay home in the end. (This is true, of course, but you'd think that a law school would also want to point out that it's okay to get a law degree and then, you know, practice law!!) I am an outsider, but it is my impression that the cultural forces shaping the LDS young woman's understanding of herself and her role in society are real and powerful. What is perhaps most dangerous is that those forces are rarely so explicit as they were in the leaflet I was mailed.

People desperately do not want to talk of such things.

It is so pervasive, that it is invisible. The forest can't be seen for the trees.

Look at the YW leaders on your ward. How many of them are professionals? Likely, zero. Can you ever recall a female professional chosen as a YW leader? Probably not many.

Then look at the YM leaders. How many of them are professionals with good track records and good careers? Most of them.

That's just one example.

I'm kinda getting tired of being picked on and attacked for stating the blatantly obvious.

LDS girls hear things from LDS people that non-LDS girls would NEVER be told in the non-LDS world, in professional settings. My daughter will be given these messages constantly, and I as a parent am going to have to thing long and hard about how I deal with it. I guess what I want her to know is that some people will present her with false choices, and that she should see through them. An example: if you have a career, you will have to leave the church.

Note what it took to get "the Lion" of apologia, Tex, to enter this thread.

About the BYU literature, they've probably found that they can't even get women to apply. So their strategy is to try and convince women, who are undecided about going to law school, to come anyway. Obviously, it is not geared towards a woman that knows what she wants.

Tex · 05-14-2009, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Note what it took to get "the Lion" of apologia, Tex, to enter this thread.

FYI, I haven't read any of this thread. I clicked it because I finally got curious as to what an SAHM was.

BarbaraGordon · 05-15-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

LDS girls hear things from LDS people that non-LDS girls would NEVER be told in the non-LDS world, in professional settings...About the BYU literature, they've probably found that they can't even get women to apply. So their strategy is to try and convince women, who are undecided about going to law school, to come anyway. Obviously, it is not geared towards a woman that knows what she wants.

I was thinking about writing them with more marketing suggestions:

"Not married yet??? Consider BYU law! With twice as many men as women, and with half the men still single, you're nearly guaranteed to snag a mate!! Why, if you're industrious you could be paired-up and married by your second semester! You can even drop out at the end of your first year, before anyone thinks you're one of those sinister "career" types. And won't mom be proud to see you settle down with a promising young attorney!

Yes, BYU law -- the practical choice for the single woman."

Tex · 05-15-2009, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbaraGordon

I was thinking about writing them with more marketing suggestions:

"Not married yet??? Consider BYU law! With twice as many men as women, and with half the men still single, you're nearly guaranteed to snag a mate!! Why, if you're industrious you could be paired-up and married by your second semester! You can even drop out at the end of your first year, before anyone thinks you're one of those sinister "career" types. And won't mom be proud to see you settle down with a promising young attorney!

Yes, BYU law -- the practical choice for the single woman."

I think I may rue the day you opted to consider BYU as an educational option.