I'm mulling over becoming an intellectual - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Indy Coug · 05-07-2007, 03:41 PM

Hints? Suggestions? How do I know when I've reached that Nirvanic state of enlightenment?

Archaea · 05-07-2007, 03:47 PM

An intellectual recently gave me these rules.

First, wear only colored shirts, and occasionally don't wear a tie to Church.

Second, you must have multiple translations of the Bible.

Third, you must actually prepare for Sunday School in advance.

Fourth, you must use a power point when preparing your EQ or High Priest lesson.

Fifth, you must learn to profane.

Sixth, you must acquire an affinity for Diet Coke.

Seventh, you must learn to like European things.

Eighth, you must acquire an affinity for beautiful women, but couch your appreciation in terms of artistic expression.

Ninth, you may never use short sentences when long, verbose sentences will suffice.

Tenth, you must laugh at yourself and change you avatar, that self-portrait bothers as I fear you might be dying for lack of oxygen.

Again these come to me from a true intellectual, I'm not certain they will actually help.

MikeWaters · 05-07-2007, 03:48 PM

Repeat to yourself many, many times:

"I will not always take the party line. I will not always take the party line. I will not always take the party line."

You might also add:

"I will not always ask myself, what would JohnnyLingo do. I will not always ask myself, what would JohnnyLingo do. I will not always ask myself, what would JohnnyLingo do."

YOhio · 05-07-2007, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

Hints? Suggestions? How do I know when I've reached that Nirvanic state of enlightenment?

Intellectuals never reach a nirvanic state of enlightment. Part of the life is always troubled about something.

il Padrino Ute · 05-07-2007, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

Hints? Suggestions? How do I know when I've reached that Nirvanic state of enlightenment?

I believe that intellectualism is like humility in that once you recognize your own, you've lost it.

myboynoah · 05-07-2007, 03:52 PM

Publish in Dialogue or under Signature Books.

I think that's an essential for Mormon Intellectuals.

RockyBalboa · 05-07-2007, 03:52 PM

"What would Arch, Jeff, SU, CaliCoug, Dan, SEIQ" do?

Then market it as a bumper sticker to be sold at all Deseret Books, which of course all proceeds to be ear-marked for the Institute of Snobbery fund.

Indy Coug · 05-07-2007, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myboynoah

Publish in Dialogue or under Signature Books.

I think that's an essential for Mormon Intellectuals.

I have articles in two different TBS Sports magazines.... is that close enough?

Tex · 05-07-2007, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOhio

Intellectuals never reach a nirvanic state of enlightment. Part of the life is always troubled about something.

This actually made me laugh out loud. A better characterization I have never heard ...

myboynoah · 05-07-2007, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

I have articles in two different TBS Sports magazines.... is that close enough?

Do you discuss Mother in Heaven?

Also, have you ever been a CES employee? Strangely, having that on your resume automatically qualifies you as soon as you break with institutional Mormonism. Oh the irony.

05-07-2007, 03:41 PM	#1
Indy Coug Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Between Iraq and a hard place Posts: 7,569	I'm mulling over becoming an intellectual Hints? Suggestions? How do I know when I've reached that Nirvanic state of enlightenment?

05-07-2007, 03:47 PM	#2
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	An intellectual recently gave me these rules. First, wear only colored shirts, and occasionally don't wear a tie to Church. Second, you must have multiple translations of the Bible. Third, you must actually prepare for Sunday School in advance. Fourth, you must use a power point when preparing your EQ or High Priest lesson. Fifth, you must learn to profane. Sixth, you must acquire an affinity for Diet Coke. Seventh, you must learn to like European things. Eighth, you must acquire an affinity for beautiful women, but couch your appreciation in terms of artistic expression. Ninth, you may never use short sentences when long, verbose sentences will suffice. Tenth, you must laugh at yourself and change you avatar, that self-portrait bothers as I fear you might be dying for lack of oxygen. Again these come to me from a true intellectual, I'm not certain they will actually help. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

05-07-2007, 03:52 PM	#6
myboynoah Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Memphis freakin' Tennessee!!!!! Posts: 4,530	Publish in Dialogue or under Signature Books. I think that's an essential for Mormon Intellectuals. __________________ Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!! Religion rises inevitably from our apprehension of our own death. To give meaning to meaninglessness is the endless quest of all religion. When death becomes the center of our consciousness, then religion authentically begins. Of all religions that I know, the one that most vehemently and persuasively defies and denies the reality of death is the original Mormonism of the Prophet, Seer and Revelator, Joseph Smith.

05-07-2007, 03:52 PM	#7
RockyBalboa Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Salt Lake City Posts: 7,297	"What would Arch, Jeff, SU, CaliCoug, Dan, SEIQ" do? Then market it as a bumper sticker to be sold at all Deseret Books, which of course all proceeds to be ear-marked for the Institute of Snobbery fund. __________________ Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'.

05-07-2007, 03:48 PM	#3
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	Repeat to yourself many, many times: "I will not always take the party line. I will not always take the party line. I will not always take the party line." You might also add: "I will not always ask myself, what would JohnnyLingo do. I will not always ask myself, what would JohnnyLingo do. I will not always ask myself, what would JohnnyLingo do."