Speaking of gay cowboys.... - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

ute4ever · 12-17-2005, 03:40 AM

....did you see this Letterman Top 10 list on Tuesday?

Top Ten Signs You're A Gay Cowboy

10. "Your saddle is Versace"

9. "Instead of 'Home On The Range', you sing 'It's Raining Men'"

8. "You enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'"

7. "Sold your livestock to buy tickets to 'Mamma Mia'"

6. "After watching reruns of 'Gunsmoke', you have to take a cold shower"

5. "Native Americans refer to you as 'Dances With Men'"

4. "You've been lassoed more times than most steers"

3. "You're wearing chaps, yet your 'ranch' is in Chelsea"

2. "Instead of a saloon you prefer a salon"

1. "You love riding, but you don't have a horse"

il Padrino Ute · 12-17-2005, 05:58 AM

THE TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE GONE TO A BAD FUNERAL DIRECTOR

10 - He's wearing a paper hat that says "Trainee"

9 - Hawaiian Punch used for embalming fluid

8 - Hearse has Domino's logo on side; on the way to the cemetery they drop off a couple of pizzas

7 - Tells you, "I can't help this man. He's dead."

6 - Asks if you want cremation to be Original or Crispy

5 - Gives out souvenir T-shirts reading, "My beloved spouse passed away and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

4 - Always shouting "Cut! Cut!" (Oh, I'm sorry, that's one of the "Top Ten Signs You've Gone to a Bad *Movie* Director")

3 - Gives you a business card for his secondhand eyeglass and denture shop

2 - Two days after the funeral you see the deceased alive again and doing yardwork for the funeral director

1 - He replaces ashes of loved one with Folgers crystals

12-17-2005, 03:40 AM	#1
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	Speaking of gay cowboys.... ....did you see this Letterman Top 10 list on Tuesday? Top Ten Signs You're A Gay Cowboy 10. "Your saddle is Versace" 9. "Instead of 'Home On The Range', you sing 'It's Raining Men'" 8. "You enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'" 7. "Sold your livestock to buy tickets to 'Mamma Mia'" 6. "After watching reruns of 'Gunsmoke', you have to take a cold shower" 5. "Native Americans refer to you as 'Dances With Men'" 4. "You've been lassoed more times than most steers" 3. "You're wearing chaps, yet your 'ranch' is in Chelsea" 2. "Instead of a saloon you prefer a salon" 1. "You love riding, but you don't have a horse"

12-17-2005, 05:58 AM	#2
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	One of my all-time favorite Top 10 Lists from Letterman... THE TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE GONE TO A BAD FUNERAL DIRECTOR 10 - He's wearing a paper hat that says "Trainee" 9 - Hawaiian Punch used for embalming fluid 8 - Hearse has Domino's logo on side; on the way to the cemetery they drop off a couple of pizzas 7 - Tells you, "I can't help this man. He's dead." 6 - Asks if you want cremation to be Original or Crispy 5 - Gives out souvenir T-shirts reading, "My beloved spouse passed away and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" 4 - Always shouting "Cut! Cut!" (Oh, I'm sorry, that's one of the "Top Ten Signs You've Gone to a Bad Movie Director") 3 - Gives you a business card for his secondhand eyeglass and denture shop 2 - Two days after the funeral you see the deceased alive again and doing yardwork for the funeral director 1 - He replaces ashes of loved one with Folgers crystals __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.