02-07-2007, 05:16 PM | #51 | |
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02-07-2007, 05:25 PM | #52 | |
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We are from churches that discussed sex only with the terms fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and pornography. Of my friends from church, I know a couple that physically could not consummate their marriage on their wedding night (after years of being told the evils of sex), and I know several couples that divorced after a couple of years of asexual marriages. Anyway, this is not my point. My point is, for those of you with younger kids, there is a book called It's So Amazing that has some great illustrations you can use with your kids. Obviously this is not a book your kids read on their own. We have this one. My son LOVES it. There is a book for older kids called It's Perfectly Normal. I'm a little more hesitant on this one because it offers guidelines on homosexuality, birth control, etc. These two are considered the standard in birds and the bees books, but are written without any particular moral or spiritual framework. |
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02-07-2007, 05:45 PM | #53 | |
Charon
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http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come...e=UTF8&s=books with our kids and it is great. Highly recommended.
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02-07-2007, 05:47 PM | #54 | |
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I'm a big fan of the book "Bonds that Make Us Free" by Terry Warner (an [emeritus?] BYU philosophy professor). I think it does an excellent job of setting the foundation for such an understanding. minn_stat |
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02-07-2007, 05:47 PM | #55 | |
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Do you think it's better to use a secular work or a spiritual one? This is something I wonder about, but as I have no background in child psychology, etc., I really have no idea which is better. We've basically decided to take a secular work and supplement it with our own spiritual/religious material. |
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02-07-2007, 05:50 PM | #56 | |
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02-07-2007, 05:51 PM | #57 | |
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02-07-2007, 05:53 PM | #58 |
Charon
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That's what we have done. The book that I linked is simply a great way to introduce the birds and the bees to young kids. Once you have the basics established, it is easier to build on that foundation as opportunties for discussion arise.
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02-07-2007, 05:56 PM | #59 | |
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The only problem I have with this approach is that it's not uncommon for women from conservative religious backgrounds to struggle with sexuality, even within the context of marriage. so, if you spend ten years telling these adolescents, "don't worry it'll be better for everyone in the long run," and then they hold off until marriage only to find a life full of sexual dysfunction...well, I don't see how we've done anyone any favors. But yes, churches certainly need to lessen the emphasis on the negatives. That approach is not helping matters. |
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02-07-2007, 06:23 PM | #60 |
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Great point, but isn't that definition incorrect? Isn't heavy petting placing too much pressure? Sorry for the lame joke. However, isn't the heavy part meaning under the clothing and light petting over the clothing? It's been a long time since I've heard those terms but that's what I remember. OTH, in my 13 year old class, we speak clinically without reservation. For example, when it said Joseph knew not Mary until Jesus was born. I pulled out my trusty NRSV and showed it meant not having sex. In reality, I'm not certain what the method of teaching should be. Honesty and openess should be available, but not to the point of ludeness and crudeness where we resort to the Victorian backhouse brothels. Is the tendency to giggle every time somebody in the congregation a sign of immaturity? Will our congregation necessarily be happier or will we simply exchange different unhappiness? I do wish the Church would engage its sociologists to develop a plan for altering our culture to a more complete, holistic, approach to sexuality. I suspect it will not happen in our lives, as given the many concerns taken on by male business leaders, healthy marriages doesn't seem to be a primary concern. Healthy IMAGES of marriage is their primary concern.
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