07-31-2008, 04:08 PM | #41 |
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What exactly do you learn as a single unmarried person from 25-35 that then makes you a better potential spouse?
Marriages generally succeed or fail based on the selfishness/selflessness of both parties. Hanging around another 6 or so years won't make you less selfish.
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07-31-2008, 04:11 PM | #42 |
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Given your cultural roots, to which I presume you had remained fairly true to that point, this explains a great deal, as you were probably suffering through much of your young adult life from DSB, a condition a more worldly colleague at the Orrick firm explained to me as "Dreaded Semen Buildup." It causes young men to make some really stupid decisions.
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07-31-2008, 04:12 PM | #43 |
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I think if we asked SU's ex, she would claim that it was she that made the really stupid decision. No doubt.
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07-31-2008, 04:14 PM | #44 | |
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I agree with you that selflessness is the key, along with shared values, commitment and community. I don't know too many marriages that have broken up simply because an immature selection was made by a person who reaches maturity and realizes the error. More often it is because one or both people are selfish in some way.
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07-31-2008, 04:14 PM | #45 |
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Incidentally, poke's question is asked in a manner that precludes giving the most important answer......love for spouse and children.
That is like asking someone....."why would anyone bother sacrificing to go to school for years and years when they could be out traveling, having fun, and doing other stuff?"......and then precluding them from giving answers such as future salary, stability, love for learning, etc... I can ask Poke's same question to a group of non-LDS married men who waited until they were in their late 30s to get married....ask them, "be honest...how many of you feel like right now you are missing out on having sex with other women and being free to do what you want?" Of course there will always be an opportunity cost to being in a relationship. Religion and age are not relevant. All great things require sacrifice. Marriage is no exception. The fact that some are less prepared to make those sacrifices is an implication of the individual, not the institution.
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07-31-2008, 04:15 PM | #46 |
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Has anyone ever invited her here?
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07-31-2008, 04:16 PM | #47 | |
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07-31-2008, 04:17 PM | #48 | |
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07-31-2008, 04:19 PM | #49 |
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Right, but lets say I want to come study at your feet and bring my family, is it better for me to start walking now or should I save up and buy plane tickets? The real question is what is the cost benefit of my impatience to get to you and learn your manifold mysteries.
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07-31-2008, 04:19 PM | #50 |
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