Mike brought up an interesting topic

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

Imagine if your wife came to you and said she was having an affair and she wanted to make it right with you and you told the bishop on her. If the affair didn't end the marriage then I believe telling on her would.

Which brings up an interesting question, would you divorce your spouse because of an affair. Myself I think if she didn't have any feelings for the guy I would try and work it out.

The Handbook of General Instructions only encougares it in cases of nonrepentant, recurrent infidelity, not the exact words but a paraphrasing.

If you imagine that 70 percent of marriages have been who have had affairs and 50 percent of women, most persons in the US are tempted and yield to temptation.

In LDS men I read it's about 30 to 40 percent and lower for women. It is more common than it should be. We're dealing with five couples in our ward right, active, once temple married couples dealing with this issue. None are leaning to divorce, but are seeking to recover from it. The first guy, who was exed while in the bishopric, said recovery was difficult, two steps forward, one step backward. He was just rebaptized after two or three years.

[RockyBalboa]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

Imagine if your wife came to you and said she was having an affair and she wanted to make it right with you and you told the bishop on her. If the affair didn't end the marriage then I believe telling on her would.

Which brings up an interesting question, would you divorce your spouse because of an affair. Myself I think if she didn't have any feelings for the guy I would try and work it out.

Wow, I don't know what I would do. It's tough to say.

I'd like to think I'd want to be forgiving and try to work things out, but it would all depend on the details.

One of my older brothers after 21 years of marriage finally divorced his wife because of her repeated infidelity. The last straw came during his deployment to Krzygystan (sp?). While there he hacked into her email and found out she'd been cheating on him with a buddy on base in Germany that he helped re-activate into the church.

As more news came out, we'd discovered that over the course of their 21 year marriage, she'd been with 7 different men. This lady was the Martha Stewart of the family, she could do anything and had endless talents it seemed and she ended up fooling a lot of people. My brother unbelievably still wanted to work things out, but the last time she was so unrepentant that he moved forward quickly with the divorce. Somehow he got it so that she has to pay him child support and not the other way around.

My brother has been a bishop before in Florida and it came out that she even cheated on him while he was the bishop with another ward member. The woman was the ultimate deceiver and had no shame. I commend my brother for at first wanting to work things out, but man I could'nt do that.

If it were a one time thing then I think I'd want to try and work things out, but again I really don't know how I'd react. I'd like to think I'd be civil, but that level of deception I'm not sure warrants any civility.

He's now got a wonderful girlfriend from Washington State that we got to meet just a couple weeks ago when he was in town visiting.

[Taq Man]

companion that was having regular sex with multiple partners and he was drinking on a regular basis. I did not feel a need to rat him out as he was a friend and I am a firm believer in do unto others as you would have them do unto you (I don't like being ratted out when I screw up).

He eventually flunked out of school (the honor code office never got wind of him) and a couple of months later I saw him in the sealing room as we watched one of our former mission buddies get married. He was all smiles, laughing like he didn't have a care in the world. I was pissed and seriously considered telling someone but in the end I again believe that it is between him and God and I let it go. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 10 years.

[Tex]

Originally Posted by Archaea

The Handbook of General Instructions only encougares it in cases of nonrepentant, recurrent infidelity, not the exact words but a paraphrasing.

I referenced my copy of the handbook and could only find instruction not to counsel a person whom to marry, nor whether to divorce his or her spouse. "Those decisions must originate and remain with the individual."