Things to say to get people thinking...

[Taq Man]

As your walking into sunday school turn to your wife and say "...so they were able to save the gerbal but I'll need yearly colonoscopies for the rest of my life". Then sit down and watch the heads turn.

[il Padrino Ute]

Originally Posted by Taq Man

As your walking into sunday school turn to your wife and say "...so they were able to save the gerbal but I'll need yearly colonoscopies for the rest of my life". Then sit down and watch the heads turn.

That was very funny. LOL!

[Taq Man]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I had a ward member answer the door and talk to me for a few minutes with a garment top on. Seemed natural to him, so felt natural to me.

My dad spends every waking second inside his home in his garments and a pair of sweatpants. He liked the one piecers too.

My non LDS friends used to ask me why my dad tucked his t-shirt into his sweatpants. Good times.

[Spaz]

Guy in my ward before we split was very vocal anti-caffeinated soda. I always planned on bringing a 1-liter of Dew to the next ward activity, and finding a seat right next to the guy.


Luckily, for my wife's sanity, we never attended any ward activities. It's just as well - I wouldn't have gotten lucky for at least two weeks after pulling a stunt like that.

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by Taq Man

My dad spends every waking second inside his home in his garments and a pair of sweatpants. He liked the one piecers too.

My non LDS friends used to ask me why my dad tucked his t-shirt into his sweatpants. Good times.

I plan to be just like your dad. I have nothing to hide.

[Spaz]

On another topic...for the first 3 years or so we were married, when my wife & I would get separated by a half-aisle in the supermarket, and someone else was in the aisle with us, I'd occasionally yell "Hey, Woman, get over here right now!".


It was sure to draw a few glares...especially when she played along and came over in a suitably humble manner.

[Spaz]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I plan to be just like your dad. I have nothing to hide.

Why bother with the garments? My ward at BYU, I was just leaving the shower one day, with just a towel wrapped around my waist. My roommates' girlfriend was half-way up the stairs looking for her guy when I walked out. She let out a shrill little yelp and high-tailed it back into the living room.

I proceeded to head straight downstairs, still wearing only a towel. I sat down right next to the poor girl, and put my arm around her.


The apartment was free from her for at least a day.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by UteStar

I have learned that by saying just a few things or doing a few things, you can get people talking in your ward.

A good line to drop in a meeting with leaders from the ward when someone's activity in church is being discussed is to say: 'I don't think he is active, I saw him bringing in a 12-pack of Diet Cokes into his house the other day.' You will either get some nods of the head or some disapproval from others. Either one is rather funny.

Pick up the morning newspaper in your garments. Just wearing the tops is enough to get people talking.

Wear a speedo to the neighborhood pool. That will get people talking.

Start telling a story at elders quorum party about how a few years ago in Las Vegas, you and your wife went to the casino, and then to show and then to a party and then say 'Oh man, I have said too much, lets just say that what happens in Vegas truly stays in Vegas. I still can't believe we did that, but it is something that my wife and I still laugh about and regret. Thank goodness for repentance!'

This can work for you or for the wife--The wife says at a RS activity about how great it is to be in a ward that has so many hot guys and how much fun this ward is going to be.

Anyway, just a couple of things to do if you are ever bored.

A really fun one is to attend a ward party while married with another woman. The rumor lines get going faster than ever that way.