Now that you've reared your family and are a rich single guy 71

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I said something like this, and it didn't go over well. Except I was nicer.

This is the stock Mormon response, "if you feel bad, serve."

You have no idea as to the level of service he may have rendered in the past, namely, is he suffering from burnout.

Plus, the structure of the Church is for married persons only and yes single persons can have some participation but single persons are made to feel as outsiders. Could some joy be derived in giving some service even though you don't really belong? Of course, but rote Sunday School answers show the bureaucratic insensitivity which pervades our culture towards singles.

"I know we haven't made you feel welcome, but if you'd stop being so lazy, you'd feel welcome."

[MikeWaters]

I'm saying when church becomes non-drudgery, that makes you more happy during church.

[MikeWaters]

BYU71 suffering from service burnout in the church? Maybe.

Let's hear from him directly.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

BYU71 suffering from service burnout in the church? Maybe.

Let's hear from him directly.

Married guys who are in the mainstream of Church culture lecturing those who are not is rich. That is all.

The people who can least know what it feels like to be on the cultural fringe, leadership white guys married with kids. You're what the Church is structured for.

If you're older, divorced, or a single never married gal of a different race, this group often feels isolated and out of touch, but the white gerontocracy will continue to lecture those out of its mainstream.

[MikeWaters]

I'm hardly in the mainstream of the church.

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

BYU71 suffering from service burnout in the church? Maybe.

Let's hear from him directly.

I have no idea if I am suffering from service burnout. All I know is I am a very happy camper.

Very frustrated right now because of oil prices, the back and forth in the market and the weather for spring and the start of summer stinks. However, I am very happy.

I love to express my opinion in these formats. Love to get in a few back and forths. Enjoy handing out shots and taking the good ones thrown my way.

I associate through work with a lot of people each day. I also play golf with 20-40 guys 2-3 times a week. Have a great realtionship with my kids, however like all parents worry about what they are doing and going to do. I probably have four or five friends that call me on a daily basis.

Thus, I often very much enjoy being alone in the evenings.

If i have burnout, it ain't so bad.

Oh, I do involve myself in some service projects at times. Sometimes it is my time and sometimes it involves money. I am not going to get into how much or how often though. I feel no need to open myself up to anymore advice from you or Tex on how I can improve my life. If I want that, I will go to more of the church social functions in my own ward and chat with the relief society sisters. I have found they are often full of ideas on how my life could be better spent.

[SoCalCoug]

I was single for only a short time after my divorce. But I remember the first time after separating that my son spent a weekend with my ex, and therefore didn't come to church with me. Normally we have about 20 rows of folding chairs in the gym which pretty much fill up. I would usually sit back there. However, this time, I sat in one of the benches on the right side. Nobody sat on the entire bench, even though there were 20 rows of people on folding chairs.

Yeah, single people can feel isolated in church.

If BYU71's fine with his participation, I think he's doing pretty well.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by SoCalCoug

I was single for only a short time after my divorce. But I remember the first time after separating that my son spent a weekend with my ex, and therefore didn't come to church with me. Normally we have about 20 rows of folding chairs in the gym which pretty much fill up. I would usually sit back there. However, this time, I sat in one of the benches on the right side. Nobody sat on the entire bench, even though there were 20 rows of people on folding chairs.

Yeah, single people can feel isolated in church.

If BYU71's fine with his participation, I think he's doing pretty well.

This Church culture does a HORRIBLE job for single people. It's all about getting them married so they fit in. That's the mindset, and until that mindset changes it will remain an awful place for singles.

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by Archaea

This Church culture does a HORRIBLE job for single people. It's all about getting them married so they fit in. That's the mindset, and until that mindset changes it will remain an awful place for singles.

I don't know how you could change it though. As I have said before, you have to talk to the masses and in a sense "control" the masses. It is much easier to get the uniformity and control if the ideal is married, married young and having kids. Therefor the message has to be, single while not evil, is not a happy nor wanted state for church members.

The problem is the men and if you want everyone married, I would probably agree. The men are probably more likely to shun marriage and kids quickly.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by BYU71

I don't know how you could change it though. As I have said before, you have to talk to the masses and in a sense "control" the masses. It is much easier to get the uniformity and control if the ideal is married, married young and having kids. Therefor the message has to be, single while not evil, is not a happy nor wanted state for church members.

The problem is the men and if you want everyone married, I would probably agree. The men are probably more likely to shun marriage and kids quickly.

it is a good thought project.

How can one define an approach allowing those who will not marry feel loved and belonging?

You will have the marrieds who will look to the singles, "oh I know this person you should meet."

And the general topic of conversation for singles is different.