What if a couple married, wife is pregnant, husband dies - Page 3 - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Indy Coug · 11-13-2007, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

In the published material that the church puts out for its members, there is no mention or advocacy for personal revelation in the matter.

Does that help you understand?

So? I see nothing wrong with the church encouraging adoption and offering the resources it has available towards that end.

In the units I've belonged to over the last 10 years, I've seen several unwed mothers keep their babies and remained active in church. Almost all of them eventually married in the temple.

There are members of my extended family that were adopted and benefitted from being raised by great parents.

MikeWaters · 11-13-2007, 08:35 PM

Maybe it's just a suggestion. But that is not the interpretation given in my stake. It's not friendly advice. It is the counsel of God.

myboynoah · 11-13-2007, 08:37 PM

“Every effort should be made in helping those who conceive out of wedlock to establish an eternal family relationship. When the probability of a successful marriage is unlikely, unwed parents should be encouraged to place the child for adoption, preferably through LDS [Family] Services” (“Policies and Announcements,” Ensign, Apr. 1999, 80).

I don't see what is so offensive about this. What other counsel should be given? To keep the child?

There's a fair amount of info out there showing the challenges that face the children of young unwed mothers. Not just poverty, but abuse and crime play a picture. Placing such children in two parent homes greatly reduces the chances for these challenges.

The Church's position seems to be the only one it can take. Ultimately the mother makes the decision, and may go against counsel, which I suspect is happening more often. My experience shows that in such cases, the ward steps up to offer what ever support and assistance it can provide, often times going fruther than I think appropriate (baby showers), but then, I have no heart.

Indy Coug · 11-13-2007, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Maybe it's just a suggestion. But that is not the interpretation given in my stake. It's not friendly advice. It is the counsel of God.

Well, based on the article you linked it IS the counsel of God. Get on your knees and take it up with Him.

MikeWaters · 11-13-2007, 08:43 PM

Ward members shouldn't have a baby shower for an unwed expectant mother?

Wow.

If I were bishop, and the person wanted my advice, I would present the issues as I saw them, and say "this is your decision, think about it and pray about it. We will support you and love you, no matter what the decision is."

I can't for a moment fathom myself telling a woman who had decided to keep a baby after a lot of soul-searchign that she was wrong and was going against the Lord's will, etc.

MikeWaters · 11-13-2007, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

Well, based on the article you linked it IS the counsel of God. Get on your knees and take it up with Him.

Yet I have already presented an example where most would have a lot of difficulty telling that woman to give up her child.

Indy Coug · 11-13-2007, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

Yet I have already presented an example where most would have a lot of difficulty telling that woman to give up her child.

What? You mean the goofy hypothetical of where the husband dies before the baby is born?

MikeWaters · 11-13-2007, 08:46 PM

This is exactly the attitude I don't understand:

Quote:

The world says that it is okay to...raise a child in a fatherless home.

http://www.cougarboard.com/noframes/...tml?id=3177010

I support adoption, I think it's a great thing. But heaping any sort of condemnation on a woman who keeps her child is incomprehensible to me. There but for the grace of God go I.

Archaea · 11-13-2007, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

This is exactly the attitude I don't understand:

http://www.cougarboard.com/noframes/...tml?id=3177010

I support adoption, I think it's a great thing. But heaping any sort of condemnation on a woman who keeps her child is incomprehensible to me. There but for the grace of God go I.

Who condemns the woman?

It seems like a fool's errand, but it's her choice not mine.

MikeWaters · 11-13-2007, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

What? You mean the goofy hypothetical of where the husband dies before the baby is born?

Yeah I doubt this has ever happened. Good thing Mormons don't volunteer for the military in proportion to Non-Mormons, or this situation might crop up once.

11-13-2007, 08:37 PM	#23
myboynoah Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Memphis freakin' Tennessee!!!!! Posts: 4,530	“Every effort should be made in helping those who conceive out of wedlock to establish an eternal family relationship. When the probability of a successful marriage is unlikely, unwed parents should be encouraged to place the child for adoption, preferably through LDS [Family] Services” (“Policies and Announcements,” Ensign, Apr. 1999, 80). I don't see what is so offensive about this. What other counsel should be given? To keep the child? There's a fair amount of info out there showing the challenges that face the children of young unwed mothers. Not just poverty, but abuse and crime play a picture. Placing such children in two parent homes greatly reduces the chances for these challenges. The Church's position seems to be the only one it can take. Ultimately the mother makes the decision, and may go against counsel, which I suspect is happening more often. My experience shows that in such cases, the ward steps up to offer what ever support and assistance it can provide, often times going fruther than I think appropriate (baby showers), but then, I have no heart. __________________ Give 'em Hell, Cougars!!! Religion rises inevitably from our apprehension of our own death. To give meaning to meaninglessness is the endless quest of all religion. When death becomes the center of our consciousness, then religion authentically begins. Of all religions that I know, the one that most vehemently and persuasively defies and denies the reality of death is the original Mormonism of the Prophet, Seer and Revelator, Joseph Smith.

11-13-2007, 08:35 PM	#22
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	Maybe it's just a suggestion. But that is not the interpretation given in my stake. It's not friendly advice. It is the counsel of God.

11-13-2007, 08:43 PM	#25
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	Ward members shouldn't have a baby shower for an unwed expectant mother? Wow. If I were bishop, and the person wanted my advice, I would present the issues as I saw them, and say "this is your decision, think about it and pray about it. We will support you and love you, no matter what the decision is." I can't for a moment fathom myself telling a woman who had decided to keep a baby after a lot of soul-searchign that she was wrong and was going against the Lord's will, etc.