12-16-2008, 08:49 PM | #21 | |
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 102
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Quote:
My counsel to those that found themselves wanting to take time of from Church for various reasons, was that staying away from Church was not the solution. I am not going to pass judgment on your decision to stay away for 6-12 months, that time off may indeed regenerate your enthusiasm and desire for what the church has to offer. I have not walked in your shoes and will not pretend to know what burdens you face, but, just on the limited information posted on this board, my concerns are about how your decision will affect the rest of your family. I have found spouses that attend church by themselves can be overburdened by having to deal with 5 children on their own and eventually find it easier to stay home than deal with changing diapers, discipline, etc... Your children may decide one Sunday they want to stay home with Dad. While your child's desire may be warranted, given your schedule, how is their spiritual growth affected by staying away from church? Please don't consider my comments as criticism of your decision. I hope my post does not come across that way. Good luck and I hope things work out. |
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12-16-2008, 09:03 PM | #22 |
Demiurge
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 36,365
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Confession time: I almost lost it a little while back in dealing with a situation in my calling.
It really startled me and caused me to reflect on what I was doing, and what I could hope to achieve. I know for a fact that I am getting burned out, but I am trying to reinvent things and get excited again, simply to help the kids I work with. When other men shrank, I continued on. LOL. Foolishly. |
12-16-2008, 10:45 PM | #23 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 7
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cougarobgon,
That is exactly the worry I have had about taking time off from the church. My family is of the highest importance to me and I do not want them following in my footsteps in regard to this decision, but I was seriously going to lose it if I didn't do something. Luckily my children are way beyond the diaper stage, but I know exactly what you mean about my wife being alone at church. My kids are 17, 16, 14, 9, and 7 so they are pretty independent at church anyway. I decided that I needed to make this decision for my own sanity, and I have no regrets at this point. As far as considering your comments criticism, nothing could be further from the truth. Your opinion probably would have bothered me 6 months ago, but I am so fully beat down and worn out that I simply don't get my feelings hurt anymore. I actually appreciate your comments, and you are certainly right about much of what you wrote. It's just that I can no longer pretend that everything is okay when it clearly is not. I am so happy that you had a loving ward that showed care and concern for you and your family. Unfortunately I do not have the same feelings of acceptance in my ward. I told my bishop about my feelings of not being needed in church, and he became very upset about it. He showed sincere concern for me, and not just my eternal salvation. He was mostly worried about my ability to function in the real world being under so much stress. He asked me if there was anything he could do to make me feel more comfortable in church, and I said there really was not at this point. I told him my decision is final, but I appreciate his concern. Anyway, the bishop did ask me if I would go in and see him in a month - I told him I would, and I am looking forward to it. Hopefully things will improve in my life and I can return to full activity in the not too distant future. Thanks for your comments. |
12-17-2008, 03:01 AM | #24 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Gotham City
Posts: 7,157
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12-17-2008, 05:52 AM | #25 |
Assistant to the Regional Manager
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The Orgasmatron
Posts: 24,338
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We could learn a thing or two from our evangelical neighbors.
__________________
Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα |
12-23-2008, 10:18 PM | #26 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where do you think?
Posts: 1,201
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Quote:
If you are too stressed to teach primary in the way you feel you should, then why not just ask to be released, and continue to attend church? You have wife and five kids, who I assume all love you. Who gives a crap what anyone else in the ward thinks? Maybe the Lord prompted you to sit in front of that couple so you could tell the woman to shut her trap when she told you to move? |
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12-23-2008, 10:20 PM | #27 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where do you think?
Posts: 1,201
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12-23-2008, 10:24 PM | #28 |
Demiurge
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 36,365
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It's not an evangelical church, but rather a Methodist church I happened in.
http://cougarguard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25054 I'd have really liked to have heard that program. |
12-25-2008, 04:06 PM | #29 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 7
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You are right, it really doesn't matter what the crap the rest of the ward thinks. Unfortunately, not everyone has the same amount of self confidence that it takes to not care what others think. I am a person who has always been just a little on the insecure side so I struggle with this. I'm glad you don't, but I will say it is a very tough thing to deal with when you feel like people simply do not care about or like you. Feeling accepted at church is an important aspect to full activity. I will tell you this for sure, nobody has ever left the church because people were too genuinely friendly towards them.
So... taking a break from church has been a great thing in my life for the past few weeks as I feel much better about my self. The pressure of attending meetings and feeling self-conscious about what others may be thinking and/or saying about me has been greatly reduced. I may not agree with you completely, but I certainly appreciate the fact that you responded. Have a great day. |
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