Kids and Missions

[ERCougar]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

I loved my mission. I will definitely encourage it. Even the hard parts added to what makes missions special. Some of my greatest periods of growth were during the hard times. My kids have already seen pics of me on my mission and they seem to grasp that at one time, I was a missionary like the Elders that come to our house for dinner.

It is definitely up to the individual, though. I do not believe in incentives to go on a mission (I will buy you a car, I will pay your tuition, etc...) nor do I believe in getting pissed off or devastated if they don't go. I personally believe they will be making a poor choice and I will let them know it, but it certainly wont be the first or last poor choice in their lives.

Will you pay for their mission?

I will. My trainer (and worst companion) spent most of his time telling me how proud how he was that he had paid for his mission himself. That is, when we weren't spending the morning walking to the newsstand to get the USA Today, then walking back to the apartment to read it, then oh...it's lunchtime, let's eat, then a nap...and so on.

But you're right about a mission--even that time with my trainer helped me learn something--if only tolerance.

[The_Tick]

I absolutely love home teaching.

I have home taught the same family for over 7.5 years now. Other families have come and gone but this family has stayed the same.

I started teaching them when the youngest was yet to turn 12.

I have seen their 3 daughters fall away from the church.

When the YM became a Deacon I was there. Same for Teacher and Priest.

When he got the MP I was there.

I was out of town when his mission call came. He called me at 10 in the morning and asked when I would be in town. I told him 730. He asked the family to come together at 8 because he didn't want to open it without his HT there.

I have been there for 1 of the daughters to come back to church.

When one of the daughters got sent to a military/discipline style of school up in Utah, she selected me to be the arbitrator between her and her parents upon condition of her release. She was 14 at the time. All her choice. To this day (She is 21, married with 2 kids) she still calls me for advice when it comes to dealing with her parents and her husband when she doesn't understand. She lives in AZ but still considers me her home teacher.

Without this great program I would have missed out on so so much.

[Runner Coug]

Originally Posted by The_Tick

I absolutely love home teaching.

I have home taught the same family for over 7.5 years now. Other families have come and gone but this family has stayed the same.

I started teaching them when the youngest was yet to turn 12.

I have seen their 3 daughters fall away from the church.

When the YM became a Deacon I was there. Same for Teacher and Priest.

When he got the MP I was there.

I was out of town when his mission call came. He called me at 10 in the morning and asked when I would be in town. I told him 730. He asked the family to come together at 8 because he didn't want to open it without his HT there.

I have been there for 1 of the daughters to come back to church.

When one of the daughters got sent to a military/discipline style of school up in Utah, she selected me to be the arbitrator between her and her parents upon condition of her release. She was 14 at the time. All her choice. To this day (She is 21, married with 2 kids) she still calls me for advice when it comes to dealing with her parents and her husband when she doesn't understand. She lives in AZ but still considers me her home teacher.

Without this great program I would have missed out on so so much.

You're a good guy. I suck at it.

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by ERCougar

Will you pay for their mission?

I will. My trainer (and worst companion) spent most of his time telling me how proud how he was that he had paid for his mission himself. That is, when we weren't spending the morning walking to the newsstand to get the USA Today, then walking back to the apartment to read it, then oh...it's lunchtime, let's eat, then a nap...and so on.

But you're right about a mission--even that time with my trainer helped me learn something--if only tolerance.

Sure, if I am in a position to do so. I guess I don't lump that in with rewards/incentives because it is the family's responsibility to pay, when they can.

[cougarobgon]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

I loved my mission. I will definitely encourage it. Even the hard parts added to what makes missions special. Some of my greatest periods of growth were during the hard times. My kids have already seen pics of me on my mission and they seem to grasp that at one time, I was a missionary like the Elders that come to our house for dinner.

It is definitely up to the individual, though. I do not believe in incentives to go on a mission (I will buy you a car, I will pay your tuition, etc...) nor do I believe in getting pissed off or devastated if they don't go. I personally believe they will be making a poor choice and I will let them know it, but it certainly wont be the first or last poor choice in their lives.

My oldest boy is about three weeks into his mission as of today, but, until about about year ago he had no intention on serving a mission. He had not shared this decision with my wife and I until right after graduation from high school. He had made his decision despite our family being active all his life, daily family scripture study, occasional formal FHEs, four year early morning seminary graduate, rarely missing YM, etc...Both my wife and I were devasted. But, we told him we loved him and that despite his decision, the Lord "expected that every young man serve a mission" as long as he was worthy and we left it at that. No guilt trip, we just told him that we believed he would be a good missionary and could help make a difference in the life of other individuals. My wife cried many nights.

That summer after graduation he had what he calls a "life changing" experience. He began visiting with our bishop, all on his own, and began hanging around an active YM who had gone to the BYU-I summer freshman orientation. By the end of the summer he wanted to attend BYU-I and began preparing to go on a mission. His acceptance to BYU did not come until after the state university term began and we encouraged him to attend the state university anyway so that could he get a feel for what it was like out in the real world. However, we were concerned knowing that he was going to live in a coed dorm, but, we believed that the state university experience would help him appreciate what he had been taught all his life.

A year later, he is out in the mission field. No incentives, just many prayers on his behalf by my wife and I, a good bishop, and a good friend. I enjoyed my mission to Guatemala in the early 80s and believe that a YM misses out on a great experience by choosing not to serve.

[SteelBlue]

My son is 4 1/2 years from eligibility. I've done all I can to let him know how important my mission was to me. I've tried to take the approach that Lebowski mentioned a few weeks back. I want him to know what he's in for and I want him to want to be there. So far so good.

[MikeWaters]

My story is boring. I wanted to go on a mission, and I went. And had a great experience. No drama.

[smokymountainrain]

I can honestly say I hope I handle the mission thing with my kids the same way my parents did. I knew they wanted me to go, they had made that much clear. When I turned 19, I had no desire to go and I made that clear to them. They handled it like champions, never said another word about it.

About 3 months before I turned 20, I decided out of the blue that I needed to go on a mission. I told my mom later that night and she was absolutely thrilled. She told me she was resigned to the fact I wasn't going to go and was fine with it, but upon hearing the news, she couldn't have been happier. To see how much she wanted me to go, but knowing she (and my dad) didn't pressure me at all made me respect them more than they will ever know.

The mission couldn't have been better - as DDD mentioned, even the tough times added to the experience and I wouldn't change a thing. I beam when I talk about my mission and I have confidence my son(s) will want to serve. But if he doesn't, here's to hoping I handle it like my parents did.

[RC Vikings]

My oldest is six weeks into it and other then being a little homesick is doing great. This kid was under no pressure from my wife or myself but we live in a ward where the boys are expected to go and do a good job of preparing them. We support him financially and the only thing I told him was to come home alive in two years and come home alone. As kinda a side note his first area is Thunder Bay, ON. I served about 1/4 of my mission is western Ontario and though I never served in Thunder Bay we did have a zone conference there one time.

[Snowcat]

My daughter just passed her hump day in Latvia. My oldest son just submitted his papers.

I have spoken with my children regularly about the value of my mission experience. We have tried not to put any pressure to serve, but there is considerable cultural pressure on the boys. I would be disappointed if they chose not to serve, mostly because I know of the life changing experiences they would be missing.