Do you all ever feel shortchanged by your culture's insistence on early marriage

[MikeWaters]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

I dont really know any people who postponed their family specifically to be able to travel. Do you?

I know several who wished they had traveled more prior to having kids, but I have yet to meet someone who said, "we dont want to have kids yet because we are really hoping to go to England next summer."

I had a friend who said kids had to wait until after the 2 month sabbatical to Italy.

Of course, kids never came after that either.

[DevilCoug]

I married and had children very young. I had many friends and aquaintances who waited until they were older. My wife was, and is, hotter than their's. They have no financial advantage over me. I play catch with my older kids and I can still throw it in the 80's. Their kids will be pushing them in a wheel chair. I was working my tail off while they were wasting time - and I have no regrets.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by Levin

I would have asked the questions no matter the sex or religion of BDB, you dimwit. I was curious what BDB meant by she tried her best, I wasn't condemning or sitting in judgment in the slightest. I find it interesting why relationships don't work out even though parties to that relationship feel like they've done their best.

You look for opportunities to identify an oppressive and hateful culture within the LDS Church wherever and whenever you can, even though in many instances there is absolutely nothing there.

It will take heavy, heavy lifting to remove the burr from under your saddle. Until you do, you're going to continue to be hallucinatory, and you won't reach any sort of clarity grounded in reality.

As I said, that the discussion occurs at all is very wrong. The questions are still oppressive if asked of a man, but the effect is magnified for an LDS woman. How can you deny that much? You can't.

In America age 30 is not old to be unmarried except in LDS culture. She is making a rational decision that inherently should not invite inquiry. But she is made to feel defensive here, in a bastion of enlightenment for LDS culture. I shudder to think what it must be like in more mainstream venues.

One thing I do not lack is clarity. I think any fair minded person would have to agree there is a discernible thread in my outlook.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by DevilCoug

I married and had children very young. I had many friends and aquaintances who waited until they were older. My wife was, and is, hotter than their's. They have no financial advantage over me. I play catch with my older kids and I can still throw it in the 80's. Their kids will be pushing them in a wheel chair. I was working my tail off while they were wasting time - and I have no regrets.

theirs, not their's

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

In America age 30 is not old to be unmarried except in LDS culture.

Ha. Are you good friends with any Jews?

Go ask a Jewish mom how she feels about her daughter being 30 and not married....or at least very close to being married.

One of the guys I work closely with is Jewish and his mom is always trying to set him up. He is 28.

[Levin]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

As I said, that the discussion occurs at all is very wrong. The questions are still oppressive if asked of a man, but the effect is magnified for an LDS woman. How can you deny that much? You can't.

In America age 30 is not old to be unmarried except in LDS culture. She is making a rational decision that inherently should not invite inquiry. But she is made to feel defensive here, in a bastion of enlightenment for LDS culture. I shudder to think what it must be like in more mainstream venues.

One thing I do not lack is clarity. I think any fair minded person would have to agree there is a discernible thread in my outlook.

So someone says to you, "I was dating a great guy; all my friends thought he was a great guy; and I tried my best, I really did, but I had to dump him."

So then I ask, "Really? Why? Just curious what it was? Was itthat you tried your hardest to love him, but couldn't? That you tried your hardest to want to get married to him, but you couldn't awake the desire?"

It's called simple relationship questions. I'd ask them of an 18 year old, 25 year old, 30 year old, 40 year old, or of BYU71.

Please explain how such questions are oppressive in the way you mean it.

[SeattleUte]

Originally Posted by TripletDaddy

Ha. Are you good friends with any Jews?

Go ask a Jewish mom how she feels about her daughter being 30 and not married....or at least very close to being married.

One of the guys I work closely with is Jewish and his mom is always trying to set him up. He is 28.

Yes. Lots. I had lunch with one today.

Okay, so he is 28. That is ancient in LDS culture to be unmarried. I guarantee his rabbi wasn't encouraging him to marry before he finished college.

You're grasping.

[Tex]

Originally Posted by SeattleUte

You're grasping.

While to say that ours is the only culture that puts an emphasis on marriage is somewhat myopic, it's true that LDS are known for families. I'm not so sure that's such a bad thing. Given the way the world has generally turned away from this cornerstone of civilization, I'm happy to say my culture hasn't.

I don't fear being alone in that pride.

[il Padrino Ute]

Originally Posted by Tex

While to say that ours is the only culture that puts an emphasis on marriage is somewhat myopic, it's true that LDS are known for families. I'm not so sure that's such a bad thing. Given the way the world has generally turned away from this cornerstone of civilization, I'm happy to say my culture hasn't.

I don't fear being alone in that pride.

Well stated, Tex. There is nothing wrong with marriage and family. Even if it's younger than the enlightened think it should be.

[RC Vikings]

Originally Posted by DevilCoug

I married and had children very young. I had many friends and aquaintances who waited until they were older. My wife was, and is, hotter than their's. They have no financial advantage over me. I play catch with my older kids and I can still throw it in the 80's. Their kids will be pushing them in a wheel chair. I was working my tail off while they were wasting time - and I have no regrets.

While their kids are pushing them in that chair they will be thinking of all the sex they had with different partners when they were in their twenties. They to will have no regrets.