Masturbation on Mission

[FMCoug]

Since this thread is thoroughly hijacked, maybe we should take this discussion to another thread so this one can mercifully disappear?

Just a thought. (He says as he posts on it, bumping it to the top once again.)

[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by SoonerUte

Hello. I'm SoonerCoug's wife, SoonerUte.

I didn't know that I look like Nicole Kidman until after I married him.

But Barbara, how could you say that with all of his wit and charm?

Welcome. Are you an attorney?

[RC Vikings]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

My trainer would yell at me if my hands were under the covers as I went to sleep. He'd yell: "Elder! This mission has a problem with masturbation, and I don't want you becoming a part of it!" Then he'd get up in the morning and put metallica on and prance around the apartment naked and picking his nose. His favorite way to wake me up was by spreading his naked butt cheeks in my face at 6:30 AM.

I didn't mind the metallica part.

SoonerUte do you wake up SoonerCoug the same way?

[Goatnapper'96]

Originally Posted by RC Vikings

SoonerUte do you wake up SoonerCoug the same way?

Enter Night...take my hand..we're off to never-never land! LOL!

[fusnik11]

Originally Posted by ute4ever

I have friends in SLC who work in the church office building, who say the same thing. They look at the missionary's availability date, and which missions have openings that week, and the computer does the rest.

Well either your friends or Richard G. Scott are lying as I was told by Elder Scott that each call comes from apostolic revelation and that a computer generates names with a large board with mission availability and the spirit clearly directs the apostle to call each individual missionary to the appropriate mission.

[Indy Coug]

Originally Posted by ute4ever

The AP's in my mission used the same process when determining transfers. They looked at who was up for transfer and sort of randomly shuffled them around, and handed the suggested list to President.

Well, I can tell you that my dad and his APs were very, very thorough in how they did transfers (it took several hours each month) and that there was a lot of prayer and thought behind it.

[ute4ever]

Copy of an email I received:

All three of you are correct, actually. The bulk of the work is computer generated, looking at things like familiarity with foriegn languages and areas where the missionary has family. At that point, an elder called to the mission commission (say that five times fast) looks at the gaps and his individual skills and will select where to send him. Whether or not inspiration comes over every call, I don't know. Sometimes prayers are answered, other times they are not. wHen Garret and Jenna were called to the same mission, that had more to do with coincidence, since sisters have fewer openings, and the papers don't ask if you have a girlfriend planning on serving.

[All-American]

Originally Posted by danimal

Reminds me of my friend's mission. His MP got up and said "We have a masturbation problem in this mission...and it isn't only the Elders." There were lots of looks towards the Sisters that day.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this statement probably didn't help the problem among the Elders.

[fusnik11]

Originally Posted by All-American

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this statement probably didn't help the problem among the Elders.

Every mission has this problem.

My MP told me that 75% of his Elder's admitted to him in interviews they had played Five vs. One, and that about a third of the mission had a 'real' problem. He also told me the numbers were very similar with the Sisters.

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by fusnik11

Every mission has this problem.

My MP told me that 75% of his Elder's admitted to him in interviews they had played Five vs. One, and that about a third of the mission had a 'real' problem. He also told me the numbers were very similar with the Sisters.

Sisters too? Amazing.