Something I don't get about apostates

[Tex]

Finished watching "The Mormons" last night (more on that some other time) and was struck afresh by strange comments from apostates.

Take Margaret Toscano, self-proclaimed intellectual and apparent feminist. We first heard her voice in the documentary introduce her self as one (my words), "stripped of my wedding vows ... my sealing to my husband and my children has been cancelled." Later, she describes the disciplinary council where she was excommunicated as "violent," so much that she's confused when some of the high councilmen involved desire to shake her hand and express love for her after its completion. (One of the few moments I actually laughed out loud during the presentation.)

My question is, why does she care? If you feel that the Book of Mormon is not true or its history is a fraud, or that Joseph Smith was a fraud or a fallen prophet, or that the current leadership has lost God's favor, or that the doctrine is not true and does not make sense ...

... why do you care about the ordinances? I can understand missing the fellowship or the fraternity, but the ordinances? Why do you long for the ceremonies, the efficacy and value of which you by definition reject?

It is a fascinating paradox that intellectual apostates don't really want to leave the church, they just want to change it.