OK... now it's time for me to post about my dating problem. - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

Tim · 05-07-2006, 11:42 PM

This girl that I had over for dinner on Thursday was really giving me alot of signals, she was obviously very interested in me... she kept getting closer and closer to me throughout the evening, until after dinner she suggested that we watch a movie. She picked a scary movie, of course, and then proceeded to snuggle up to me throughout the movie. I figured there was nothing to lose, so I held her hand, cuddled back, etc.

I haven't seen her since Thursday... she worked Friday evening and all afternoon/evening today, and yesterday she had a course she attended all day. So I'm supposed to see her again tomorrow night. Here's the thing: I don't think I'm ready to commit to a relationship with her yet. It really caught me off guard, this whole thing, and I really am not ready for a commitment to her yet. I would like to keep going out with her, but I just don't want to date her exclusively yet.

I figure that tomorrow night I'll tell her just that, that I want to keep going out with her, but that I need to slow it down and not date her exclusively yet.

When it comes down to it, there are other people that I'd like to be going with right now. With that in mind, the worst thing I could do would be to drag it on.

Your thoughts?

JohnnyLingo · 05-07-2006, 11:48 PM

Just out of curiosity, for people who post this kind of stuff either here or on CB, do you also ask people not part of the boards for advice?

Tim · 05-07-2006, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLingo

Just out of curiosity, for people who post this kind of stuff either here or on CB, do you also ask people not part of the boards for advice?

Yes. I spread the advice requests around. Why?

Tim

UtahDan · 05-08-2006, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyLingo

Just out of curiosity, for people who post this kind of stuff either here or on CB, do you also ask people not part of the boards for advice?

Certainly he is not interested in the opinion of anyone who owns an enormous jar of vasoline.

DirtyHippieUTE · 05-08-2006, 12:41 AM

At times like this I like to ask myself... WWjD do (little j for jimmy my former roommate):

Go out with her on Monday and become uncomfortable every time she tries to get close. Spend the night avoiding the subject until much later. Make out with her and then tell her that you're moving way too fast. Apologize profusly for "leading her on" and then tell her how much you respect her and want to continue dating but at a much "slower" pace.

I find that the farther I deviate from the Jimmy plan, the better off I'll be.

The WWjD strategy worked for me. How else would I have gotten Mrs. Hippie to marry me.

cougjunkie · 05-08-2006, 01:21 AM

What happened to the other girl you were dating? the one you broke up with then got back together?

Tim · 05-08-2006, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cougjunkie

What happened to the other girl you were dating? the one you broke up with then got back together?

We broke up for good 6 or 7 weeks ago.

Tim

JohnnyLingo · 05-08-2006, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Yes. I spread the advice requests around. Why?

I was just curious. For some reason I find it weird that people come to internet message boards for serious relationship advice.

It's probably just me, though.

Quote:

It really caught me off guard, this whole thing, and I really am not ready for a commitment to her yet.

Who said she's ready for a commitment? Did she tell you outright? There are a lot of people out there who are just looking for NCMO or NCCuddling. Girls, especially, feel the need for physical closeness, and some look for it without the strings of a relationship attached.

MikeWaters · 05-08-2006, 03:45 AM

I agree with Lingo. No sense in telling her anything on a 2nd date.

Plenty of people hold hands, cuddle, kiss etc. on a first date.

There are other ways to send signals that you are not wanting to be exclusive without saying so.

Like not taking it to the next level. Like not calling back promptly. Like skipping a weekend. etc.

Tim · 05-08-2006, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

I agree with Lingo. No sense in telling her anything on a 2nd date.

Plenty of people hold hands, cuddle, kiss etc. on a first date.

There are other ways to send signals that you are not wanting to be exclusive without saying so.

Like not taking it to the next level. Like not calling back promptly. Like skipping a weekend. etc.

She called me the next day and she called me yesterday. Hopefully she'll get it when I don't hold her hand when I see her tomorrow night.

Tim

05-07-2006, 11:42 PM	#1
Tim Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Jonestown, Guyana Posts: 280	OK... now it's time for me to post about my dating problem. This girl that I had over for dinner on Thursday was really giving me alot of signals, she was obviously very interested in me... she kept getting closer and closer to me throughout the evening, until after dinner she suggested that we watch a movie. She picked a scary movie, of course, and then proceeded to snuggle up to me throughout the movie. I figured there was nothing to lose, so I held her hand, cuddled back, etc. I haven't seen her since Thursday... she worked Friday evening and all afternoon/evening today, and yesterday she had a course she attended all day. So I'm supposed to see her again tomorrow night. Here's the thing: I don't think I'm ready to commit to a relationship with her yet. It really caught me off guard, this whole thing, and I really am not ready for a commitment to her yet. I would like to keep going out with her, but I just don't want to date her exclusively yet. I figure that tomorrow night I'll tell her just that, that I want to keep going out with her, but that I need to slow it down and not date her exclusively yet. When it comes down to it, there are other people that I'd like to be going with right now. With that in mind, the worst thing I could do would be to drag it on. Your thoughts? __________________ http://www.mynameistomcruise.com

05-08-2006, 12:41 AM	#5
DirtyHippieUTE Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Moscow, ID Posts: 1,151	At times like this I like to ask myself... WWjD do (little j for jimmy my former roommate): Go out with her on Monday and become uncomfortable every time she tries to get close. Spend the night avoiding the subject until much later. Make out with her and then tell her that you're moving way too fast. Apologize profusly for "leading her on" and then tell her how much you respect her and want to continue dating but at a much "slower" pace. I find that the farther I deviate from the Jimmy plan, the better off I'll be. The WWjD strategy worked for me. How else would I have gotten Mrs. Hippie to marry me. __________________ I reject your reality and substitute my own...

05-08-2006, 01:21 AM	#6
cougjunkie Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Utah Posts: 5,741	What happened to the other girl you were dating? the one you broke up with then got back together? __________________ LINCECUM!

05-07-2006, 11:48 PM	#2
JohnnyLingo Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 2,175	Just out of curiosity, for people who post this kind of stuff either here or on CB, do you also ask people not part of the boards for advice?

05-08-2006, 03:45 AM	#9
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	I agree with Lingo. No sense in telling her anything on a 2nd date. Plenty of people hold hands, cuddle, kiss etc. on a first date. There are other ways to send signals that you are not wanting to be exclusive without saying so. Like not taking it to the next level. Like not calling back promptly. Like skipping a weekend. etc.