Mr. Garrison's Theory of Evolution - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

SoCalCoug · 11-03-2006, 05:28 AM

This really made me laugh from South Park tonight, and I thought I'd share it for those who missed it:

"All right, kids, it is now my job to teach you the Theory of Evolution.

"Now, I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of BULL CRAP, but I've been told I have to teach it, anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin, and it goes something like this:

"In the beginning, we were all fish, okay, swimmming around in the water. And then one day, a couple fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live.

"So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this retard frog-squirrel, and then that had a retard baby that was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you!

"So, there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations."

It's all so clear now.

11-03-2006, 05:28 AM	#1
SoCalCoug Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Orange County, California Posts: 3,059	Mr. Garrison's Theory of Evolution This really made me laugh from South Park tonight, and I thought I'd share it for those who missed it: "All right, kids, it is now my job to teach you the Theory of Evolution. "Now, I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of BULL CRAP, but I've been told I have to teach it, anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin, and it goes something like this: "In the beginning, we were all fish, okay, swimmming around in the water. And then one day, a couple fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. "So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this retard frog-squirrel, and then that had a retard baby that was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey, and that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey, and that made you! "So, there you go. You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel. Congratulations." It's all so clear now. __________________ Get your stinking paws off me, you damned, dirty Yewt! "Now perhaps as I spanked myself screaming out "Kozlowski, say it like you mean it bitch!" might have been out of line, but such was the mood." - Goatnapper "If you want to fatten a pig up to make the pig MORE delicious, you can feed it almost anything. Seriously. The pig is like the car on Back to the Future. You put in garbage, and out comes something magical!" - Cali Coug Last edited by SoCalCoug; 11-03-2006 at 05:31 AM. Reason: Left off the best part