My review for the latest Indy Jones movie.. - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

il Padrino Ute · 06-22-2008, 11:46 PM

I saw it with 3 of my kids and decided that the reviews I've read about it don't cover the important things, so I have one of my own:

Not only is Harrison Ford looking older these days, but it seems that either his head is increasing in size or his torso is shrinking. In the beginning of the movie, he looked like one of those paper-machae heads you see in Mardi Gras parades. It was difficult for me to focus on what was going on because of the grotesque disproportional head:torso ratio.

I think whoever edited the movie must have noticed it too, as sometime after the nuke test scene, he looked more normal. Ford would be wise to buy the editor a really nice Christmas gift for fixing the size of his noggin, because until his head is actually smaller, there's no point in watching the film, as all you can see on the screen is Ford's head.

Karen Allen hasn't aged well. She looked old, fat and unattractive. She definitely looked better in Raiders of the Lost Ark and even better in Animal House. Still, she's not as annoying as Kate Capshaw and I still say that the only reason Capshaw was in one of the movies is because she's banging Spielberg.

The kid trying to act like a young Marlin Brando did ok, but I still think his best work was in The Greatest Game Ever Played. Sure it's a roller coaster ride kind of fun to look for lost treasure, but golf is more relaxing and you'll have a better chance of actually shooting par than getting past indigenous natives with blow guns shooting poisonous darts in real life. Risk taking is fine, but at least understand the risk - death or bogey golf?

So, there's my review of Indy Jones and the Crystal Meth Users From Outer Space. It was fun and worth the matinee price to see it on an afternoon, but it will never be the equal of Raiders.

RockyBalboa · 06-22-2008, 11:49 PM

Is it fair to have expectations of it being equal to Raiders in the first place?

il Padrino Ute · 06-23-2008, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RockyBalboa

Is it fair to have expectations of it being equal to Raiders in the first place?

That is an excellent point. I went into the theater hoping it would be better than Temple of Doom and wasn't disappointed.

YOhio · 06-23-2008, 12:48 AM

Very funny review IPU. I totally agree with your Karen Allen comments. Indy was slumming big time.

MikeWaters · 06-23-2008, 01:10 AM

The movie is awful. I expect trash from Lucas. I at least expect entertainment sans art from Spielberg.

ute4ever · 06-23-2008, 02:41 AM

Raiders: 3.5 stars
Temple: 2 stars
Last Crusade: 2 stars
Magical E.T.: 1 star

06-22-2008, 11:46 PM	#1
il Padrino Ute Board Pinhead Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the basement of my house, Murray, Utah. Posts: 15,941	My review for the latest Indy Jones movie.. I saw it with 3 of my kids and decided that the reviews I've read about it don't cover the important things, so I have one of my own: Not only is Harrison Ford looking older these days, but it seems that either his head is increasing in size or his torso is shrinking. In the beginning of the movie, he looked like one of those paper-machae heads you see in Mardi Gras parades. It was difficult for me to focus on what was going on because of the grotesque disproportional head:torso ratio. I think whoever edited the movie must have noticed it too, as sometime after the nuke test scene, he looked more normal. Ford would be wise to buy the editor a really nice Christmas gift for fixing the size of his noggin, because until his head is actually smaller, there's no point in watching the film, as all you can see on the screen is Ford's head. Karen Allen hasn't aged well. She looked old, fat and unattractive. She definitely looked better in Raiders of the Lost Ark and even better in Animal House. Still, she's not as annoying as Kate Capshaw and I still say that the only reason Capshaw was in one of the movies is because she's banging Spielberg. The kid trying to act like a young Marlin Brando did ok, but I still think his best work was in The Greatest Game Ever Played. Sure it's a roller coaster ride kind of fun to look for lost treasure, but golf is more relaxing and you'll have a better chance of actually shooting par than getting past indigenous natives with blow guns shooting poisonous darts in real life. Risk taking is fine, but at least understand the risk - death or bogey golf? So, there's my review of Indy Jones and the Crystal Meth Users From Outer Space. It was fun and worth the matinee price to see it on an afternoon, but it will never be the equal of Raiders. __________________ "The beauty of baseball is not having to explain it." - Chuck Shriver "This is now the joke that stupid people laugh at." - Christopher Hitchens on IQ jokes about GWB.

06-22-2008, 11:49 PM	#2
RockyBalboa Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Salt Lake City Posts: 7,297	Is it fair to have expectations of it being equal to Raiders in the first place? __________________ Masquerading as Cougarguards very own genius dumbass since 05'.

06-23-2008, 12:48 AM	#4
YOhio AKA SeattleNewt Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 7,055	Very funny review IPU. I totally agree with your Karen Allen comments. Indy was slumming big time.

06-23-2008, 01:10 AM	#5
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,365	The movie is awful. I expect trash from Lucas. I at least expect entertainment sans art from Spielberg.

06-23-2008, 02:41 AM	#6
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	Raiders: 3.5 stars Temple: 2 stars Last Crusade: 2 stars Magical E.T.: 1 star