[Jeff Lebowski]

Originally Posted by BigFatMeanie

So, the Mrs. and I figured we'd try a little floating last night. As with landpoke, it turns out I have participated in "floating" in the past; however, I didn't recognize it as floating, instead I recognized it as, "Hey baby, I'm getting a cramp. I need to rest for a while".

My observations on floating:

- Unless the dude is hung like a toothpick, or unless the chick moonlights as a mule for the Colombians, it would likely take some effort for the horny young couple to get things together to the point that they are truly "floating". Recalling my performance on my wedding night, I it unlikely that an inexperienced, sex-starved youth could hold his fire until he was truly floating. I think it more likely that those who are effective floaters have some prior experience. This makes the "I didn't think floating was really sex" line even more likely to be a complete fabrication by someone who knows better. Were I a Bishop and someone feed me this line I would either throw the book at them or let them off completely - no middle ground. The reason is that they're either total liars or else they're completely brain dead and thus aren't responsible for their actions.

- Floating at my age can easily lead to a case of "I've fallen and I can't get up". If I'm going to stay in the game I've got to keep swimming because as soon as I start floating I'm out of action.

- I just don't see the attraction of floating. You get all of the risks of good sex (e.g. getting pregnant, not being able to go on a mission, waiting a year before you can get married in the temple, etc.) without the rewards of good sex (e.g. good sex). My recommendation for horny young pre-marital couples that just can't control themselves would be to give each other hand jobs. The risk/reward ratio is much better than with "floating".

I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to run this past the bishop. But if you live long enough....