Quote:
Originally Posted by TripletDaddy
I picture it more like a Signing Day announcement.
SU holds a press conference at the Hunstman Center. Media and students flock in attendance.
SU comes out and there are 2 hats on the table, indicating his final two choices. After a strategic bit of silence, SU eschews the zephyr "RULDS2?" cap and puts on the mesh John Deere trucker cap, indicating his full commitment to alcohol and sex.
SU takes a few minutes to walk the press through the usual cliches.....
1. I have done all I can here at the U. I feel like I am ready to take my apostasy skills to the next level.
2. I need to consider my family. By chosing apostasy, I will be able to feed my wife and kids with an instant 10% more income a year, not even counting generous fast offerings.
3. It has always been a dream of mine to be apostate at the highest level. Even as a kid, I had posters of Ed Decker on my wall and I knew that if I was lazy enough, I could make my dream come true.
The press conference disperses, with lots of excited Ute coeds rushing to buy condoms at the U pharmacy next to the Pie Pizzeria.
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If you knew my family you would realize how funny this is. There was a time when I felt like every major life decision had to be attended with such a formal announcement and fanfare. Often controversy that seemed like meat for talking head shows. Big Mormon families can be oppressive, can't they.