Quote:
Originally Posted by landpoke
and child bearing? Do you ever feel as if you'd been robbed of some elemental and possibly necessary experiences because of the age at which so many of you married and had kids?
I'm not looking for a recounting of the joys of marriage and kids etc. I'm asking if you feel like you've missed something, despite all the good it's brought to your life, by marrying and procreating at a young age.
Maybe this post is in the wrong place, but given that the acts in question spring from the church to which most of you belong I suppose it makes as much sense to put it here as anywhere else.
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I don't feel robbed, but I do wonder. I think it is natural to wonder what could have happened given different circumstances (marrying later). But who doesn't wonder? Surfah and I got married last year. Him 28, me 24. And we already had our little menehune. So we don't get to travel the world for 2+ years or anything like that, but whatever, there are things I wish I could have done, but I still wouldn't give up what I got. And I agree with some earlier posts, that a lot of people consider binge drinking, casual sex, and general carelessness as "finding themselves" and I certainly don't think if I was still single and child-less that I would really be maturing and becoming more cultured by taking part in those things. As far as I'm concerned the term "finding yourself" is just stupid (but that is another thread altogether). You can "find yourself" in any number of different experiences and circumstances. It's not like marriage and kids become some kind of road hazard. I have a father who says he has never done anything with his life, just because he doesn't live in a mansion and has never been on another continent and traveled and such. And when I hear him say that, it makes me feel like crap. Like a family and a marriage isn't an accomplishment in and of itself AT ANY AGE. I feel like it is the greatest accomplishment, but that is just my opinion. And I would never want to look back and say to my kids,"If I would have waited just 2 to 5 more years to have you, I could have done all this cooler stuff that you are SUPPOSED to do at that age." What a load of crap. Having kids and getting married is cool. Do it when you're ready but do it at all, otherwise you really miss out on some of the coolest experiences you could never get otherwise. Hell I can go to Egypt later when I am older, when I am more financially sound and have really "found myself" right? - But I only have so many hottie years to be attractive and only so many eggs to even make children. PRIORITIZE.