[BYU71]

Originally Posted by UtahDan

I gave a fathers day talk maybe three years ago. I had written what I thought was a really good talk about how important fathers are, what good fathers do, examples of great men in my life ,etc etc.

After I had written it and set it down I had the idea strike me very strongly that there were going to be people in the congregation who lost their dad's when they were little, who had dads who were abusive or a least not good guys and who, generally, had experiences that were very different than the ideal father I had prepared to talk about.

I didn't change anything I had written, but I added one last section addresses specifically to that last group. 90% of the comments I received after the talk were from people in that last group who had felt touched by the message directed to them.

That is not a "ooh look at UtahDan" story. It is just meant to highlight that regardless of whether you have a hypersensitive audience and regardless of whether anyone would be justified in taking offense, if you see offense and hurt feelings on the horizon, it isn't very hard to soften or modify the message in a way that will uplift everyone (or at least almost). I recognize that sometimes the gospel is a sword that divides brother from brother or husband from wife, but I think that is primarily a metaphoric devise. I think most of the time the goal is uplift and show love.

I understand why some are focused on the hypersensitivity of others on this issue. I get that part of it and I don't think I have ever been offended by anything said over the pulpit (read here that I have very little capacity for offense). That said, neither at church nor really anywhere in life have I ever found myself standing on the principle that an offended party is overreacting. I have often found myself saying that I intended no offense and softening the delivery next time around.

To the extent that someone gives offense (for whatever reason) and feels like the yelp they hear is evidence that they are right to give it...lets just say I think that is the wrong conclusion to draw.

I find that quite considerate. I am a divorced guy with abolutely no desire to give up my freedom and hook up again. I am fully aware of the need in the church to push marriage, the temple and no divorce. I do appreciate it though when in church there is some recognition that people can happily live outside of those paremeters. I don't even mind if the indication is it is much harder to do so, I just appreciate the recognition it can be done.