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Originally Posted by MikeWaters
older couple at church, husband left wife for a former flame connected on facebook. It reminds me of the adages I have read about from church authorities (I think one of them was a BYU commencement, which I found bizarre). "Don't connect with old flames on facebook" or some-such.
Of course, when you are a church authority you get exposed to a lot more of this. You know about affairs and divorces. Regular joe member like me doesn't usually hear about this stuff.
Is technology fundamentally different now? Did their use to be warnings about letters? Telegraphs? The telephone?
I've seen this with a friend's parents pre-social media. His mother left the marriage. It ended spectacularly badly. Without going into any details. Trust me.
One other observation: it seems by far the people most likely to get divorced from what I have observed among my facebook friends and acquaintances--less educated and less well-off white people.
A former prominent member of CG got divorced not long ago. Bunch of kids and all. He doesn't fit that category of being less educated and less well-off.
It just happens. We know that from statistics. Divorces happen.
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Divorces happen, not due to technology, but due to lack of proper maintenance of relationships, or due to having a bad connection to start with and never correcting them.
I don't believe education has anything to do with divorces. The very wealthy and educated get divorced at the same rate or higher than the poor and uneducated. In fact, the stats show the poor and uneducated often stay together because they can't afford to divorce.
You are entering the age when you will see a higher percentages of couples you know begin to divorce. Young children often keep couples together, but after a while for some, the bad relationship is just not worth it for one or both of the parties.
It will sadden you to see the children spending split time when you thought those families were golden. And it will never be a perfect solution. The dilemma is, does one spend the rest of life and perhaps longer, miserable, or does one try to get a better shake because two can't make it work? Many spend life together miserable to stay together. Others break it off. There is no perfect solution, other than to make it work well. Nobody needs to have a relationship that isn't uplifting and energizing. To choose to be miserable is not a solution.
With that said, if one divorces, there will be moments of sadness and wondering if misery wasn't better, but the frequency of those moments diminish over time.