Quote:
Originally Posted by Levin
I envision being both: I'll teach the principles as I have faith in them, but act as a foil in questioning and seeking understanding.
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Right. You give your kids both sides of the story at the same time. I think you can mess your kids up by focusing entirely on the positives of the Church as much as you can by focusing exclusively on the negatives.
If you think it's worth remaining a member of the Church, you just tell your kids what you like about the Church along with what you dislike or disagree with. As long as you don't focus exclusively on the negative or controversial aspects of the Church, your kids will actually have a stronger testimony because they have heard all the "bad stuff" about the Church from you and they will realize the bad stuff doesn't have to matter that much.
Examples (things my parents may have said)
"The historical narrative of the Book of Mormon is not supported by archeological evidence. There were no horses. Joseph Smith himself admitted there may be errors and they were
his errors. So it's not all or nothing. I love King Benjamin's talk and it helps guide my actions toward my fellow man. I love Ether Chapter 12. These portions seem inspired to me and I believe they came from God. That's what I mean when I say 'The Book of Mormon is true.' "
"Yeah, it's interesting that the Church only gives the priesthood and most positions of authority to men and not to women. It's frustrating for a lot of women and doesn't seem right for women not to take more active roles in the Church. The Church is slow to change and may not change on issues like this for a long time. But Church leadership isn't all about authority. A lot of it is about un-paid, time-consuming service that takes you away from your family. So I'm grateful for the time Church leaders spend in their callings and although there are problems, most Church leaders do a great job."
I guess my main advice is: If you have decided to stay an active member, you probably have some excellent reasons and a testimony of certain aspects of the gospel that you will emphasize with your kids. As long as they hear your testimony of the gospel at the same time that they hear your doubts or concerns about the Church, your kids will be fine. In my personal opinion, they are even more likely to stay in the Church if you have inoculated them against the controversial aspects of Church doctrine and history, rather than letting them discover all the negative stuff on their own and feel like they have been told lies their whole life.