Polygamy's obviously not a secret in the church. I was very young when I learned of it. I have ancestors that were polygamous. It was taught to me in a way that was more of something to be proud of than be ashamed of. (and yeah i ended that with a preposition--who was that did that last week? that was pretty funny. i always feel like doing the same thing)
As a college student at BYU I started getting more interested in church history and learned more.
The JS involved in polygamy thing or involved in it, sexually, has always been a strange issue. I was taught by some people (maybe not necessarily taught but this was the view of others when it came up in discussions), that JS married many women but only had sex with Emma. And that was important to them, even though other church leaders obviously participated i polygamy in the full blown way including sexually. So during this time period (post mission/student) when I came across beliefs of people that JS had more than one sexual partner, it was presented to me as shocking but it didn't feel shocking--that's the whole point of polygamy, right?
Then over time I became exposed to more theories some just in the last five years: that JS had possibly a non-polygamous affair that he may or may not have used polygamy as the cover up, that JS taught polyandry as well as polygamy and may have encouraged Emma to enter into this, that JS approached certain men's wives to become his wife as well, etc.
My view of it now is: things were seriously messed up and that the teaching and doctrine on polygamy changed and evolved so much and has since been eliminated, that I'm comfortable with my belief that the whole thing was a series of misforunate events, and that God did not intend for any of it to happen at all. But also it doesn't take away from JS and BY being great men and great prophets and receiving other important revelations.
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