Quote:
Originally Posted by Sleeping in EQ
Good thoughts. And in a more general sense, I would expect that females would be less likely to confess any sin of a sexual nature to a male leader.
And as to Indy's comment, I agree that pornography is a problem for many. But I argue that it's also a symptom of a much more complex male-female dynamic in the Church and that simply giving talks that condemn it as though it were a problem that exists in a vacuum, or lazily suggesting it is simply the result of an ill-defined "smutty world," won't help much in the aggregate.
In some sense I see the kind of easy thoughtlessness in the usual approach to condemning pornography that I see in the monthly "Do your home teaching" lecture. At some point, Church leaders should have learned that:
A. Lecturing to people and trying to make them feel guilty isn't working, hasn't worked and won't work (at least, not on this issue and not in the aggregate). In fact, it's demoralizing for many and can reinforce an assumption of all-talk and no-action.
and
B. There is a deeper difficulty that isn't being understood, much less addressed.
and
C. Most everyone seems to recognize these things, but no one's doing anything about them so the implication is that no one, including leaders, either cares or expects to make a difference.
and
D. This all fits nicely into the apocalyptic, "the world is ending and we can't do anything to improve things so why try" rhetoric that gets bandied about.
I see something of what socio-psychologists call a "bystander effect." Lots of people are standing around and shouting "Oh no! Oh no! Someone do something! Someone needs to help! Please sir, stop dying!" while the guy having the coronary dies, on the street, surrounded by people.
BTW, the fireside I'm giving on sexuality and the media is scheduled for three weeks for Sunday.
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I don't think you can blame the church for creating a male-female dynamic that creates an environment for porn problems. This is a nationwide/worldwide epidemic. I just saw something on TV last night that had a few on a panel, including a divorce lawyer in Dallas, that talked about it from a non-religious, national perspective and said that divorces naming porn as a contributing cause were exploding.
I have an opinion on church leaders constant barrage of "avoid pornography" but at the same time giving no hope or no help to those caught in the trap. It's unfortunate that church leaders do this, but I don't blame them. I think by hammering the topic they scare a certain % of members away from it, which is a good result from a bad tactic. It's a big and scary problem and I don't think they know what to do about it, other than scare people into avoiding it. If this scare tactic helps keep my sons from porn, then yappari I will probably be grateful for the help as a parent. If one of my sons becomes addicted to porn, then I will probably be angry at the church's tactic because at that point I think their methods do more harm than good.