Speaking from personal experience:
forgiveness of adultery is difficult (no i am not the adulterer). My dad cheated on my mother for 27 years. 27 years! They were married for 28. My mom stuck with it because she hoped he would change and also wanted us kids to have a father. Her sacrifice still amazes me.
However both she and her parents had a difficult time when I forgave my father and started having a relationship with him (communicate with him). She even changed the locks on our house so I wouldn’t have the key to the house anymore.
As time has passed, now all my brothers talk and visit with my dad. We were all at Kong together. Tell me two years ago that was possible and I would laugh in your face. My mom is now used to the fact that my dad will be at family parties.
She, with the help of her new husband, is beginning the see the blessing of the atonement not from the standpoint as it helps the sinner, but as it helps the victim become whole.
My poor grandmother still won’t forgive him.
Is he a member, no, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s my dad and still a good person that Christ hasn’t given up on.
I think adultery is a valid reason to get a divorce for the mere fact that a serious breach in trust has been committed that can’t be healed. There will always be second guessing after that. That is no way to have a marriage.
My thoughts on forgiveness: It is required of all men to forgive. My litmus test: If you are unable to participate in any church ordinance with that person, (ie only the best of feelings….) you need to work on that relationship and reconcile those thoughts or you will be held accountable.
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